


wonderland in another life

by glowyinthedark



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Fabrevans was wasted potential and no one can change my mind, Sam also doesn't lose all his braincells after season 3, basically a rewrite of Quinn's storyline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:40:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 85,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29190186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowyinthedark/pseuds/glowyinthedark
Summary: A rewrite of Quinn and Sam's relationship through the seasons of glee.
Relationships: Quinn Fabray/Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray/Kurt Hummel friendship, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Sam Evans/Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 34
Kudos: 24





	1. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, Silly Love Songs, Comeback

**Author's Note:**

> Wow hi! Even though Glee has been over for like over five years I always hated what the writers did to Quinn, she deserved so much more. Her storyline and the things that she had been struggling with should have been explored so much more! Plus I have always thought that her and Sam were soulmates (I mean Ken and Barbie!), so this is my kind of AU/rewrite of Quinn on Glee (aka how I wanted things for her to be). This story starts up during The Sue Sylvester Shuffle and continues on throughout the series so there will be time jumps and all that fun stuff. Please enjoy and this is my first multi-chapter story so of course comment comment comment on what you think!

**The Sue Sylvester Shuffle**

She thinks that she loves him, and it absolutely terrifies her. This isn’t a part of her plan to get back on top. All Sam was supposed to be was armcandy, he was supposed to make her look good while she took the reins again. He was supposed to distract everyone from the fact that she had gotten pregnant the year before. And it was working in her favour, until she fell in love with him. 

He was so much sweeter than she expected him to be. She thought he would just be another typical football jock trying to get into her pants, but oh how she was wrong. Even before they officially started dating, Sam never let her carry her own books to class, he always let her choose the movie they were planning on watching (even if the most of time she caved and picked Avatar for the hundredth time because she could never say no to his puppy dog face), and of course there’s the promise ring. Sam Evans was a true romantic at heart and as much as Quinn tried to deny it, she loved it. 

\-----

She’s at her locker when Finn confronts her. She wants to roll her eyes at how predictable it is. She, Brittany, and Santana have been singing backup to him and Rachel ever since they joined Glee club and now that they’ve quit they’re all of a sudden important. 

She ignores the butterflies she gets inside when Sam defends her. She convinces herself that she’s just hungry, so she feels light headed. She pretends not to notice the smile she has on her face when she leaves Finn standing at her locker with Sam’s arm wrapped around her shoulders. 

\-----

She bites her lip while she stares at the cannon they’re supposed to use at regionals, she wonders if it could actually kill Brittnay, or if someone would stop Coach before they would have the chance to find out. Just as she turns to head onto the bus she hears Finn. 

“Hey!” She’s almost disappointed that it isn’t Sam standing there, convincing her not to do this, that it doesn’t matter if she’s a Cheerio or not, that he’d still love her. She knows he would support her decision regardless, but part of her had wished he would have told her that she made the wrong decision, not Finn. 

“What’re you doing here?” She asks, even though she already knows the answer. 

“Stopping you guys from going to Sue’s Regionals competition. You guys got to come to the game with me.” She fights the urge to roll her eyes, he should know that their first choice will always be Glee, and in another life she would have made the right choice, but he saw what happened to the football guys, and they were still on the team, they weren’t even permanent members of the Glee club. He should know her well enough to know that to her, a bad reputation is better than no reputation at all. 

“Haven’t you been paying attention? If we’re not Cheerios, we're nothing.” She knows it sounds so pathetically cliche, and somewhat shallow, but high school is survival of the fittest. And if anyone would know that, it would be Finn, she knows that’s why he auditioned for the Cheerios right after her, and that’s why he prayed to his sandwich that he would get his quarterback position back. 

“You think that, but it’s not true. You joined Cheerios to be popular, but you joined Glee Club because you loved it. Sue doesn't care about you guys. She's fine killing Brittany. Tell me honestly. If you didn't think it would hurt your reputation, which would you choose?” Brittany answers what they’re all thinking and Finn takes a step closer to her. “I know you, and you don't think you are, but you're strong enough to do this.”

Finn’s words make her heart feel warm, and she tells him okay because that’s all she’s been waiting for, someone to push her to make the right decision. She had hoped it would have been Sam, but part of her is glad that it was Finn. She doesn’t pay attention to Santana’s answer, she just continues to think about what Finn had said. She feels like she’s floating for the rest of their conversation. She knows she tells Coach Sue that she quits, she knows that she walks away, but she can’t stop staring at Finn. 

\-----

Sam winks at her when he sees her on the sidelines for the rest of the half. She blames the butterflies on the conversation she had with Finn earlier. She taught Sam to do his own zombie makeup earlier during the week, so she doesn’t see him while they are all getting ready for halftime. 

She watches Sam score the winning touchdown and convinces herself that she’s cheering just as loudly as everyone else. She makes eye contact with Finn after the game ends, and pretends that the arms that wrap around her waist and spin her around doesn’t make her feel any differently. 

\-----

She doesn’t know why she meets up with Finn after the game. She was just planning on thanking him for making her realize that Glee club is where she truly belongs. She doesn’t know why she tells him that his actions from this week reminded her of why she loved him. Half of her is screaming at her to stop, that she has a good thing going with Sam and she doesn’t want to ruin it. But this is Quinn, the queen of self-destruction.

So she kisses Finn because falling in love with Sam makes her feel like she’s losing herself. And maybe she never stopped loving Finn. 

She tells herself the nausea she feels immediately afterwards is because she’s exhausted from today’s events, not because she just ruined the best thing that happened to her. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Silly Love Songs**

Part of her thinks Finn is a jerk for saying that the kissing booth is for the Glee club when they both know he’s just trying to do it to get her to kiss him. Which she is not going to be doing again. She hates herself for cheating on Sam. 

She’s not an idiot, she can see Finn staring at her in the hallways. Sometimes she gives him lusty looks back just for fun, other times she looks away immediately. She hasn’t answered any of his text messages and has not spoken to him in person since she kissed him, isn’t he getting the hint? She made a mistake. 

But the other part of her? Kind of likes the attention. Before she had gotten pregnant, guys had always wanted her. Even when she was dating Finn, but now they all think she’s used goods or something. It’s nice to have that attention back. 

But regardless of how she feels, she will not be cheating on Sam again. She has sworn off cheating forever. Besides, Sam is really good to her. When Finn had found out she had cheated on him with Puck she felt awful, but then she had learned he had cheated on her as well with Rachel. Sam would never do something like that. 

Sam brought her a rose and a stuffed bear holding a heart this morning, and she cheated on him less than twenty-four hours before. She’s disgusted with herself for it. So there is no way she will be giving Finn a stupid dollar to kiss him again. Why would he think she would? The proceeds are partially going to her anyways. She wants to roll her eyes at Finn saying that she is the only girl that won’t kiss him, is he an idiot? Neither of them see Tina or Brittnay waltzing up to his stupid booth waving a dollar between their fingers. Because they have boyfriends, and Finn somehow still respects their relationships, but doesn’t have the decency to do the same for hers. The longer this day drags on, the more she’s regretting kissing him. If she knew it was going to stroke his ego this much, she wouldn’t have told Sam not to wait for her after the game. 

She doesn’t know how the idea that her not wanting to kiss Finn means that she’s cheated with him on Sam gets into Sam’s head. It makes her sick that she has to lie to him, and she hopes his confusion about the records will help him forget what they were talking about, or will cut the conversation short. Hearing how he thinks everyone thinks he’s dumb breaks her heart because he’s not wrong, she did kiss Finn, and it’s the reason why she won’t kiss him now, but she can’t tell Sam that. 

She hates that he has her all figured out. Because if he had said all that to her earlier she would have never kissed Finn in the first place. So she tells him she’ll kiss Finn again to get the both of them off her back. The sooner she gets this over with the sooner she can pretend like none of it ever happened. 

\----- 

She slaps a dollar on his stupid booth to cover the fact that she can feel her heartbeat in her ears. She doesn’t want to do this, she doesn’t want to risk losing Sam again, but she knows Finn, she knows he won’t stop trying until he gets what he wants. She wants to roll her eyes at how he calls Sam a pervert, Sam’s right, he is her boyfriend. And this stupid kiss isn’t going to change that. 

But it does. It makes her feel something different, something different from what she feels with Sam, and she can’t figure out what it is. So she runs back to him and tells him to meet her in the auditorium so she can figure it out. 

\-----

She wakes up feeling giddy because it’s Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is actually her favourite holiday. Most people would never guess because she puts on this Queen Bitch attitude and she has cheated on both of her boyfriends, but Quinn actually loves romance. 

She wears red and meets Sam at his locker. He’s just as giddy as she is, but she knows it’s not so much because it’s Valentine’s Day but because in exchange for allowing her to pick a romantic comedy for the movie they are going to watch tonight, she agreed to watch Avatar with him again over the weekend. 

He gives her roses and she doesn’t bother covering up the gigantic smile it puts on her face. She kisses him for a little longer than usual because it’s Valentine’s Day and she won’t see him until Glee rehearsal afterschool. She puts the roses in her locker and then heads off to her first class.

\-----

She forgets about Finn until she sees him in Glee club. He has a weird look on his face and it makes her smirk. Part of her thinks that meeting up with Finn will be stupid and Sam doesn’t deserve it, the other part needs to know what these feelings are. 

So she goes to church after rehearsal and tries to convince herself that she can live without knowing why she has been feeling the way she has about Finn. But she can’t. So she drives to the school and goes to the auditorium even though she feels awful the entire way there. 

She hates how cocky Finn is being. It makes him such a hypocrite. He was devastated when she had cheated on him with Puck last year, and he was so angry at Rachel for cheating on him recently, and now he’s trying to convince her to cheat on Sam with him. 

“You know this is making me a cheater, the thing that hurt you so badly that it made you break up with me. And Rachel.” She hopes that right there makes him realize that they shouldn’t be doing this. That he is becoming the person who hurt him so badly. But he doesn’t. 

“You know why it hurt so bad when you guys cheated on me? 'Cause it meant you didn't love me.” 

She tells him that he’s wrong, she made a stupid decision that ended up biting her in the ass, but she still loved Finn. At least she thinks that she did. And even if she didn’t, she knows that Rachel did. But he continues. 

“No. At least not enough to not want to hurt me, and that's the thing about cheating. When you really love someone, you'd do anything to keep them safe.” 

She wants to shove all of that back in his face. He had cheated on her with Rachel too, so did he not love her enough? The whole reason why she’s doing this is to keep Sam safe, so she can figure out what these feelings mean and go back to him and move on from all of this. 

“I love Sam.” He knows that she doesn’t have enough strength to stop this, so she hopes that Finn will gain some morals and realize how wrong all of this. But of course, he doesn’t. 

“No, you don't. Or else you wouldn't have come here.” 

Well he has a point, if she truly loved Sam she wouldn’t have told Finn to meet up with her. If she truly loved Sam she wouldn’t have kissed Finn in the first place. But she knows she feels something for Sam, something stronger than just attraction. And she is done trying to deny it or pretend like it’s not there. 

“Fine. I think I love him. No matter what happens between us, I'm not going

to break up with Sam until I know for sure one way or another.” 

“Okay.” 

She knows that this is her last chance to leave. But she can’t, not yet. She needs more answers. 

“Do you think you can love two people at one time?” 

“Not totally. You have to choose, eventually.”

She knows he’s just saying that to get her to kiss him. But it works, because she kisses him anyway. 

\-----

She gets mono, of course she gets mono. And of course Santana was the one to figure out that she was cheating on Sam and gave it to them. She hears Sam say it was just a peck, and she wants so badly for him just to take her home so she can think of some sort of excuse to get herself out of this, but she doesn’t have enough energy. 

While she’s sitting in the nurse's office she decides that she’s not doing this anymore. This has to be some sort of sign that she needs to stop cheating. She starts to think her thoughts out loud. 

“I've cheated twice in my life. The first time, I got pregnant. The second time, I got mono. I think the universe is trying to tell me something.” 

“Maybe. But I think Sam likes you enough to believe whatever story you told him.” She wants to correct Finn that Sam loves her and that’s why he would believe her, but she doesn’t feel like getting into that with him and she’s too pissed off at Santana. 

“Santana is such a bitch.” 

Before she can rant more the nurse comes in. 

“It looks like mono to me. I called your mothers. You can hang here till they pick you up, but no kissing.” 

“I'm not done with us yet.” 

She rolls her eyes. Doesn’t Finn see that this is a sign for them to be done? 

“You have to stop. Nothing can happen between us, until I figure out what's going on with me and Sam and you figure out what's going on with you and Rachel.” 

She’s not dumb. She can tell that there’s still unfinished business between Finn and Rachel. She’s clearly not over him, and when Finn isn’t looking at her, his eyes are glued to Rachel. 

“Nothing's going on with me and Rachel.” 

She rolls her eyes again at how Finn has never been able to sort any of his crap out. 

“All I know is that when I don't catch you staring at me, you're staring at her.”

____________________________________________________________________

**Comeback**

She blinks a few times to make sure she’s heard him clearly. Painting coasters? That’s his ideal Friday night date? Maybe she is better off choosing Finn. She thought he was kidding. She almost wants to tell him she thinks it’s stupid. _Really Sam? Painting coasters? What are we? Twelve?_ But he’s looking at her with those puppy dog eyes that he knows she can never say no to so she licks her lips before telling him she doesn’t think she has anything else going on. Does she really want to spend her Friday nights doing stuff like this? She loves Sam, or at least she’s ninety-nine percent sure she does, but can she really handle someone who is so different from her? 

\-----

She cannot believe her eyes when Sam walks into the choir room with a new set of bangs wearing a purple zip-up hoodie. She thought he was kidding last night when he told her about his one-man-band over the phone. But now that he’s standing in front of her talking about Justin Bieber and how he relates to their generation, all she can do is cringe. 

But then he starts singing to her. And she immediately melts. All the second hand embarrassment and fear for his sanity has washed away as she watches him serenade her. Any thoughts of doubt for the relationship or Finn leaves her mind as she watches Sam in awe, watches him completely confident and completely in love with her. She’s an idiot for not being able to realize it before, Sam is the only one for her. 

She can feel Finn staring holes into the back of her head, but she doesn’t care. She can see it now loud and clear, there was never any choice, it was always Sam. So she tells him after Glee rehearsal to come to her house later on so they can continue watching the Star Wars movies and genuinely smiles at his overjoyed reaction.

\-----

She wonders if it’s evil, lying to him about the stupid gumball and her kiss with Finn. She wonders if she told him the truth, if he would be able to forgive her. She knows that he can tell that somethings off because of the way she keeps giving him side glances while the movie is playing. And because she hasn’t made one single comment about a flaw she has noticed so far. It’s kind of their thing, Sam points out the flaws and how unrealistic things are in the movies she chooses and she does the same to his choices. 

It’s not until the characters are in some space battle near the end of the movie where he pauses it. She looks at him in confusion, even though she knows he can tell somethings bugging her, but she thinks that maybe if she acts clueless he’ll think that he was wrong. 

“Hey is everything okay?” All she feels is guilt when he looks at her with genuine concern. She really doesn’t deserve Sam, he treats her so perfectly, and look at what she’s done to him. 

The word _yes_ is on the tip of her tongue, but then she hesitates. This is a perfect opportunity to come clean, tell him the truth before he hears some stupid rumour that will come to bite her in the ass later on. Maybe if she tells him the truth the universe will stop trying to punish her for all of her mistakes. 

“Sam I need to tell you something.” Her heart is beating a mile a minute and there are tears pricking at the ends of her eyes. The worst that can happen is that he’ll get really mad. Maybe he’ll storm out, but they’ll eventually talk about it. And then they’ll be able to move on. 

“You know you can tell me anything.” God she’s going to Hell. He’s so perfect and here she is kissing Finn fucking Hudson behind his back. The millions of excuses she has prepared are on the tip of her tongue. _I didn’t know what I was thinking. I needed to figure out my feelings so I could realize that you were the one for me. He pressured me._

“I-” but then she looks into his eyes. And he’s looking at her like he’s worried about her. Like no he just wants her to be okay. And nobody has looked at her in that way in such a long time. And she can’t risk losing it. And if that makes her a terrible person? Then so be it, but she can’t lose Sam. So she chickens out. “I really love your band.” 

If he notices her voice break at the end, he doesn’t comment on it. He just chuckles and kisses the side of her head before going to play the movie. She bites her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood to keep herself from making any noise as the tears roll down her cheeks. 

\-----

She laughs when Artie, Mike, and Puck all walk in behind Sam in different coloured zip-ups and new bangs. She laughs harder when she sees Puckerman wearing a wig. But then Sam is dedicating his performance to her and she’s in a daze once more. Sam is either the most cruel punishment she has ever recieved or the sweetest gift. 

He looks so handsome up there on that stage and it reminds her all over again why she fell in love with him. So she tells Finn she can’t do Friday and hopes he gets the hint that whatever was between them is no more, she chooses Sam. 

\-----

But of course, Finn does not give up easily. He follows her like a creep in the halls and she resists the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Sams an artist Finn.” She ignores his dig about Sam wanting to take her to Color Me Mine. She finds it so ironic that Finn was practically begging Sam to join the Glee club at the beginning of the school year, immediately friending the new guy, and now he’s completely turned on him and is saying all this behind his back. She seriously wants to tell him off. But she can’t risk other people overhearing and running to Sam to tell him the true story about her and Finn. 

“I told you I needed time to figure out what I was gonna do with Sam, and I did. I choose him.” She wants to punch Finn for thinking she was only choosing Sam because of his band. Yes, that was a part of the reason, but only because The Justin Bieber Experience made her realize her true feelings for him. 

“Look. I thought it was gonna be stupid too, but he was so shameless. He just got up there and owned it. It was sexy. I'm sorry, Finn. But like I said, Sam's an artist and at the end of the day. It really turns me on.”  
  


Even though she can’t tell him off, she’s content with the look on his face as she leaves him standing there alone in the hall. 

\-----

She’s really glad her and Santana were able to get over that stupid fight at the beginning of the school year. Although she would never admit it, Santana is her best friend and she loves the girl to death. So she compliments Santana back on her outfit just after she compliments hers. 

She can’t believe Rachel and her constant need for everything to be about her. Can’t she just let Brittnay have this one thing? Brittany’s harmless and has never done anything intentionally cruel to Rachel. Everything has always been because either her or Santana has made her. She can’t believe Rachel would do this to someone as sweet as Brittnay. 

\-----

She goes to meet Sam at her locker so she can see if she can use one of his shirts as a smock for their date on Friday. She knows he won’t mind, she could ask him to cut off one of his fingers for her and he would do it no questions asked, but she kind of wants an excuse to talk to him and she is really excited for their date. 

But then he tells her that he’s not her boyfriend and her heart stops. She hasn’t had a panic attack since two months after her relationship started with Sam, but standing there in front of him listening to him tell her he knows she cheated on her with Finn, she feels like she can’t breathe. Everything inside of her is screaming at her to just say _something_ but she can’t. She opens her mouth and no words come out. Her ears are ringing so loud and she genuinely feels like she could pass out at any second. 

But then she does say something, even if it’s as pathetic as _I want to be with you Sam,_ at least it’s something. 

But then he’s talking about Santana, and her feelings of heartache turn into rage. Santana? Of course Santana had something to do with this. 

“Since when does Santana tell you what to do?” 

Her knees almost give out when he tells her that it’s because they are now dating. So her heart is now broken for two reasons: she just lost what is probably the best thing that has ever happened to her, and her best friend is the one that took it from her. 

She thinks it’s karma, having to stare at them in the choir room, her legs propped up onto his. It makes her physically ill how Santana’s touching his hair in a way that was only supposed to be reserved for her. She’s the first one out of the room when practice ends. She doesn’t even care that people will probably be able to tell that she’s devastated as she runs out of the room as quickly as she can so she can go cry in her car. 

It’s not until she’s finished her shower (where she mostly cried until the water became too cold to handle) when she gets an idea. Sam wants to break her heart? Fine, she’ll just break his right back. So she grabs her phone and sends Finn a text. The reality of it all makes her so nauseous that she barely has enough time to make it back to her bathroom before she empties herself into her toilet bowl. But she needs to make Sam realize breaking up with her was a mistake somehow. The response Finn sends makes her break down all over again. 

_Yeah, I am still free Friday._

  
  



	2. Blame It On The Alcohol, Original Song, Born This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a great week, here is chapter two! I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors I didn't correct, I ended up finishing this chapter at 2am so my editing might not have been as thorough.

**Blame It On The Alcohol**

She thinks it’s a joke at first. Rachel Berry throwing a party? As if. But then she comes to learn the whole thing was Puck’s idea, and then it all makes sense. 

She hasn’t attended a party in months. She missed out at the Valentine’s Day thing at Breadsticks because she had been stuck at home with mono, so the last time she went to a party was with Sam. 

It had been right after the football team had made it to their playoffs. Unfortunately not all of the Glee club had been invited. Sam, Finn, Mike, Puck and Artie because they were on the team, her Santana and Brittnay because they were Cheerios, and Tina because she was dating Mike. She felt bad for Mercedes and Rachel, but they had insisted they were fine and were overdue with a girls night with Kurt. She had stuck by Tina’s side the entire time because she had no clue where Santana and Brittnay had gone and even though she was cheer captain she could not stand most of the girls on her squad. She and Tina had drunk more than they probably should have. They’re laughing hysterically when Mike and Sam find them on some patio chairs outside. When Mike asks them what they’re doing in the backyard they look at each other because neither of them quite remember how they got there, which makes them burst out laughing again. Sam and Mike look at each other amused. The four of them sit outside for a little longer before Mike looks at the time on his phone and decides that it’s time to get Tina home. They say their goodbyes and Sam tells her that they should probably get going soon too. She pouts at him and he laughs at her telling her that she can have ten more minutes. She goes to sit out his lap, squishes his face between her palms, and very seriously tells him that she loves him. He throws his head back laughing before telling her that he loves her too just as seriously, soon after that she ends up falling asleep on his lap to the sound of his heartbeat. She assumes he takes her home soon after that, but she can never be sure, and it’s not like she can ask him now.

\-----

She’s outside on the phone with Brittnay who cannot seem to figure out how to Rachel’s house when Sam shows up. They haven’t been alone since he broke up with her in the hallway last week. He doesn’t see her at first, but when he does he freezes. She convinces herself it’s because she caught him by surprise. 

They look at each other for what feels like hours, she wants to say something to him, smile even, but it’s like she’s frozen into place. Like the earth has stopped moving and in this moment only the two of them exist. Except the moment is ruined when Brittnay starts asking Quinn for directions again. She tells her to call Artie before hanging up. 

“What? You’re not going to say anything to me?” She’s a little drunk, but she still finds it rude that he doesn’t even address her, even if she cheated on him. 

He stops for a minute, but then sighs and starts heading towards the house. This just makes her angrier, so she stands in front of him, placing a hand on his chest to keep him from moving past her. “I loved you.” She shakes her head frantically before correcting herself. “No, I still love you Sam.” Her voice cracks, and he wants him to just look at her so he can see how sorry she is, but he doesn’t. He stares straight ahead and removes her hand. 

“Quinn, you’re the one who chose to be with him.” She scoffs because that isn’t fair. He dumped her for Santana first. And if he knew her as well as he claimed too, he would know that she would rather die than be seen as weak. 

“Because you decided to be with her first.” Her voice is small, a lot smaller than she would like it to be. He can feel his frustration radiating off of him in waves, but she’s willing to take it. She’d rather have him angry then not have him at all. 

“Maybe that’s the truth, but I’m not the one who got us here.” 

He leaves her standing there, outside of Rachel’s house, completely alone. She wants to scream, or even cry, but instead she’s stuck with feeling complete and utter emptiness. 

\-----

When she enters the house Santana and Sam are making out on the couch. For a second she thinks that it would just be better if she left, but then Finn would start asking questions and Quinn doesn’t really feel like dealing with that right now. 

But before she can head up the stairs to get away from it all, Rachel walks up to her asking her if she’s having fun. Is she that oblivious to the fact that her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend are having tongue sex behind her? Yeah, Quinn is loving life right now. 

And finally, Puck finally convinces Rachel to open her dad's liquor cabinet. Quinn’s already a little tipsy, so she’s completely wasted an hour and a half later, slumping onto Brittnay’s shoulder. 

She tries to not pay too much attention to how Rachel drapes herself all over Finn, and she also tries not to pay too much attention to the fact that Santana and Sam’s tongues have been attached since he got here. She takes another shot so she doesn’t have to pay attention to anything at all. 

She overhears Santana and smirks. She is prettier than Santana, and definitely smarter, and she’s glad Santana knows it. But seeing her and Sam kiss after just makes Quinn angerier, so she lashes out at Puck because she can’t exactly go up to Santana and slap her. 

\-----

She sits out of spin the bottle because Finn does, even though she would do anything to kiss Sam again. People don’t know that the two of them are back together yet so no one would say anything even if she were to join, but the truth is she doesn’t want to kiss anyone but Sam and knowing her luck the bottle would probably land on Puck. Part of her dies when Brittnay spins and the bottle lands on Sam. She rolls her eyes when Santana says that Sam's lips belong to her, they belonged to Quinn too but Santana didn’t seem to respect that. 

She wants to get up and run instead of sitting there and having to watch them kiss, but she knows Finn will just get suspicious if she does. She thinks that this is her karma for cheating on Sam, watching him kiss all of her close friends. 

She thinks the universe is trying to punish her when Blaine and Rachel sing _Don’t You Want Me_ as their duet. She knows she should probably go sit next to Finn and be all romantic with Finn like Mike and Tina are or Brittnay and Artie or even Mercedes and her stupid cup, but for some reason her eyes are glued to Santana and Sam. 

\-----

She bumps into him in the hallway while he’s exiting the bathroom and she’s trying to enter it. He doesn’t even bother giving her a second glance and for some reason it really bugs her. 

“Are you trying to purposely tortue me?” she asks him while he walks past her. He spins around surprised, as if he wasn’t expecting her to say anything to him after the conversation they had outside earlier before the party had started. 

“What?” She’s too drunk to continue to pretend, pretend to be nice, pretend to not care about the fact that she has ruined everything between them. So she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms against her chest. 

“This has to be a joke right? This whole thing between you and Santana? Like you’re clearly just doing this to annoy me, or just to hurt me. Is that what you’re trying to do? To hurt me like I hurt you by being with the girl who hates me the most? Because I’m sorry Sam! I’m sorry I cheated on you but if you would just give me a chance to explain-”

“I don’t care.” 

She loses her train of thought because the last thing she expects him to say is that he doesn’t care. What she finds herself doing next is echoing the same word he said to her half a minute ago. 

“What?” He scoffs at her and follows her in rolling his own eyes. 

“Honestly Quinn? If I was trying to hurt you, that would mean I would have to care about you still and I just don’t care. Because right now? I’m the person who hates you most, not Santana.” And then he leaves her standing there, tears running down her cheeks in front of Rachel Berry’s upstairs washroom. 

She wants to tell him that there’s no way that’s possible, no one hates her more than she hates herself. But she lets him have it, he deserves it after all she’s done. So she allows him to think that the worst thing that could ever happen to him is her breaking his heart.

\-----

She wakes up on Monday morning feeling like absolute garbage. How is it even possible to have a three day hangover? Her head feels like a hammer is constantly hitting it and the eyebags under her eyes look like they could carry her entire school bag and all of her textbooks. 

She pretends she doesn’t see Finn waiting by his car for her when she parks hers in the student parking lot. She doesn’t have enough energy to deal with him today. She also needs to find an excuse for why she didn’t answer any of his texts or calls yesterday. She definitely can’t tell him it’s because she spent the entire day sobbing into her pillow because the guy she’s in love with hates her guts. 

She meets up with the rest of the glee club in the hallway and internally praises Artie for thinking of alcohol to cure their hangovers. Although it does make her a little tipsy during their Alcohol Awareness week rehearsal performance. 

She smirks at Santana’s breakdown after their performance. Maybe if she makes a big enough fool of herself Sam will realize he deserves better. But for some reason the thought of that only makes her angry, so she calls Mr. Schue a hypocrite. 

\-----

She feels like crap before their actual live performance. She’s afraid she might puke, and she wonders if she tells Mr. Schue that she doesn’t feel well if he’ll let her go home. But before she can make an actual decision, it’s time for them to perform. 

But then Rachel gives them more alcohol and she’s able to numb everything again. Instead of focusing on how good Sam looks in the muscle shirt and beanie he’s wearing, she goes over the last finishing touches on her outfit. 

She feels like she actually might vomit while she’s performing. Their dance moves are way too fast for how slowly her brain is processing things right now. But before she can actually hurl, Brittany throws up all over Rachel, Santana following shortly after. 

\-----

She feels like either laughing or crying at the fact that Figgins doesn’t realize all of them are drunk and Brittnay and Santana’s vomit was not special effects at all. She honestly thought they would all end up getting suspended. 

If she’s being honest, she is annoyed at Mr. Schue lecturing them about how none of them should be drinking when Sue had literally exposed him over the announcements for doing that same exact thing. 

She doesn’t know if she wants to sign the pledge form, it’s not like Mr. Schue will even notice that he doesn’t have hers when all he does is focus on Rachel and Finn. She kind of likes the feeling of numbing her pain. Being able to forget for a while that her ex-boyfriend who she still loves is dating the girl who was supposed to be her best friend. But she does anyways because showing any emotion would be a slip up and Quinn Fabray does not have any slip ups. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Original Song**

She watches Finn and Rachel talk about stupid songwriting from outside the choir room. Yeah she doesn’t love Finn, but Rachel? Really? How damaged does one have to be to be into Rachel Berry? 

But she does really care about him. He’s her first love, and she may not love him right now, but first loves are forever. And without Finn, she can never become prom queen. She knows her obsession probably seems stupid, but if she can win prom queen maybe people will forget about her pregnancy in sophmore year. Maybe they will all finally start viewing her as they used to before, as perfect. Maybe it will finally be enough for Sam to realize he wants her back.

And all of this prom stuff will distract her with everything that happened between her and Sam. But she can’t lose Finn because if she does then she can forget about the entire prom thing. So she befriends Rachel because as they say, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’. 

\-----

She’s not really paying attention to what’s happening in Glee club, not that she ever really does. But her ears perk up when Mr. Schue says that they can’t use _Sing_ for Regionals because she just knows that Rachel will suggest something. A perfect way for Quinn to start her plan. 

She backs Rachel up even though she thinks the idea is stupid. Why would they create their own songs and use less time for rehearsing than they already have, but she supports her anyways. She tells everyone that the team works better when they are doing something different and ignores all the weird looks she gets after. She continues on making up some crap about how she thinks the two of them should even write a song together and hopes Rachel doesn’t think it’s complete and utter bullshit. 

She feels grateful for Finn when he backs her up, but then Sam supports Santana when the whole thing was Quinn’s idea and now all she feels is anger. 

\-----

She hears about Santana’s song about Sam and his lips. She cannot believe that Sam didn’t believe break up with her right then and there. She knows that she didn’t treat Sam the way that he should’ve been treated, but Santana treats him way worse than she ever did. And at least she loved Sam, Santana loves Brittnay it’s so obvious. But even though she hates Santana with all her heart right now, she would never out her to anyone like that, not before she’s ready to on her own, not even to Sam who she’s just dragging along. 

She meets Finn in the hallway to ask him about his ideas regarding prom. She needs something to distract her from the fact that she signed up to write stupid songs with her mortal enemy. She can’t believe that Finn is so oblivious to the fact that the only way for them to become royalty again is for them to be elected prom king and queen. 

She also can’t believe Finn wants to wait until after Nationals to announce their relationship. She could not care less on whether people know if they are together or not, on most days she can’t stand to be around him. But Quinn isn’t anything special anymore, especially not on her own and without her Cheerios uniform. People stopped fearing her after she had her baby, but she got some of that intimidation back when she became a Cheerio again at the beginning of the year, but then she quit and lost Sam, which was pretty much everything that made her happy. Finn was the reason why she lost both. And he was the one who made her cheat on Sam, he continued to pursue her even though she had a boyfriend, and now he’s having second thoughts? 

But then he calls her scary Quinn and agrees so she doesn’t think too much about he still cares about Rachel even though he’s supposed to be into her. 

\-----

She gets to the auditorium first so it looks like actually cares about this stupid song, that she actually has some ideas. She’s kind of annoyed that Rachel is late when this whole thing was her idea, but then she’s asking her if they’re friends. 

No, she doesn’t think they are friends at all. Yes, she had been cruel to Rachel last year, but Rachel had screwed her over just as much. And then she brings up Beth which pisses Quinn off even more because everyone knows that her daughter is a soft spot for her, so she snaps at Rachel asking her what her point is. 

“Are you and Finn together?” 

She can see the heartbreak all over Rachel’s face, and part of her feels bad because she knows how it feels to have your so called friend date the guy that you’re in love with, and in another life where Quinn is a better person she would help Rachel get back with Finn because she knows how bad it hurts. 

But Quinn is hurting, and when she is hurting she becomes mean. So she tells Rachel yes, and that she needs to stop making the same mistake to see that Finn and her are not meant to be. If she’s being honest? She totally knows that Finn and Rachel will be married a couple of years from now, but she cannot afford to lose Finn right now, not when she’s already lost everything else. 

All of that guilt is gone when Rachel tells her not to rewrite history and that Finn had chosen her over Quinn. She knows it’s true, but it still annoys the crap out of her. So she asks her, “And how long did that last for?” 

But then Rachel is asking her why she’s being mean and she feels guilty all over again because she hates it. She wishes she could be more like Tina or Mercedes because let’s face it, Rachel is not saint either. But unlike them, Quinn has a reputation to uphold. 

So she feeds Rachel some bullshit about how she’s going to get her heartbroken and how Quinn and Finn are going to stay here in Lima and start a family while she becomes a real estate agent, when in reality as soon as Quinn and Finn win prom king and queen, she’s going to dump Finn and do everything in her power to get Sam back, but Rachel doesn’t need to know that. 

But it breaks her heart to hurt Rachel because she knows that pain, she’s feeling it right now. So she forces the words _you can’t hate me for helping you_ out of her mouth like they are poison and tries her hardest not to cry. 

But Rachel won’t back off, and holy crap she sees the reason why Rachel and Finn are so perfect together now, because neither of them can respect her relationships. She lets her emotions get the better of her, telling her how she lives in this bubble and that’s why she hasn’t been able to write a decent song that’s not about a headband or berries. 

She knows Rachel won’t want to write a song with her after all that she just said to her, but she sits back down on the piano bench. Just like she predicted, Rachel tells her that she’s going to write the song on her own and Quinn tries her hardest to pretend like the sound of Rachel sobbing as she leaves the auditorium doesn’t make her feel any worse than she already does. 

\-----

Quinn Fabray is competitive, everyone knows that. So obviously she wants to win Regionals. But she also really loves performing. Glee club is like her home, where she can truly feel like herself. And although she got a whole different kind of rush singing a duet with Sam at Sectionals, she doesn’t mind singing background to Rachel every competition. Even though she’ll never admit it, she does know Rachel has one of the strongest voices and most experience performing. 

Quinn is smart, she knows that Finn has some weird extra admiration he feels for Rachel when he watches her perform. She noticed it last year while they were together too, but she let go because she slept with his best friend so in a way it kind of evened out. 

She doesn’t love Finn, but as she’s standing behind him watching him watch Rachel up on the stage, she’s mad. Mad that Finn would make her cheat on Sam when he was still in love with Rachel. Mad that it’s so obvious that Rachel and Finn are clearly going to get back together and she will be alone again. Mad that Rachel was able to make a beautiful ballad based on one sentence Quinn said to her and she can’t do anything right. She just wishes someone would be able to love her. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Born This Way**

She knows her competitive edge is off when she feels genuinely concerned for Rachel when Finn hits her in the face during their nationals boot camp. They have been in the Glee club for almost two years now, how has dancing barely improved? He plays football, how is he that uncoordinated? 

\-----

She fully supports Rachel’s decision to get a nose job. Of course she does, she got one herself. And then Rachel points out her nose and she respects her decision even more. And yeah, she doesn’t love Finn, but she feels bad for him when Santana is attacking the way he looks. 

It makes her want to snap at Santana because who the hell does she think she is? She knows something’s off with her, Santana was never this mean. Brittany had always been a sweetheart, a little bit of a ditz, so sometimes she doesn’t understand the full weight of her words and how they can come across as hurtful insults. But Quinn and Santana? Sue trained them to be cruel, but they were not trained to be this cruel. They were trained to intimidate when they feel threatened, never show anyone that you’re weak. So she doesn’t understand why Santana rips into everyone all the time, constantly attacking people and bringing them down. Only Rachel, but that’s because she’s trying to steal her boyfriend. 

She knows there’s probably something wrong and it probably has something to do with Brittnay. Santana only started to become unnecessarily rude when Brittnay had started dating Artie. She has a hunch that Santana might not be straight, they were best friends after all she knows those two girls pretty well. 

But Santana helped break her heart, so there’s no way Quinn will bother putting in the effort to figure it out. 

\-----

She hates this week's assignment. Acceptance? Who cares about self-acceptance. It’s all about how others perceive you, that is what’s truly important. 

She wonders if Mr. Schue is serious about all of them singing a song. Usually when they all have an assignment Rachel, Finn, and Mercedes always go, sometimes Artie and Santana, but not everyone. Her and Tina never sing solos, and everyone knows that Mike can’t sing, so will he really care if she chooses to sit this one out? 

She is kind of excited about the Lady Gaga group number. The girls and Kurt killed their _Bad Romance_ number last year. But then Ms. Pillsbury tells them about the white shirts they have to wear and all she can think of is _how dare Mr. Schue ruin Lady Gaga for her?_ Quinn doesn’t have flaws, at least any she would be willing to share with everyone else. 

But then she sees Ms. Pillsbury’s shirt and how it says _Ginger_ and thinks _okay, maybe I can just write ‘sometimes mean’ or something like that on it. Something I can’t do well, like be nice, but something not too deep._

\-----

She’s kind of surprised when Rachel asks her to go to her appointment with her because she wants to use her nose as reference. What if the doctor realizes that hers isn’t real either? 

But she plays it off like she’s shocked more girls haven’t wanted a nose like hers before. And then changes the subject to prom because if she doesn’t focus on prom she’s going to have to realize that her life is practically a trainwreck. 

But then Rachel’s asking her what it feels like to look like her and Quinn would do anything to change the subject again. Because Quinn was not born looking like this, so in reality she has no idea how it feels. And pretending like she does? It's exhausting. 

But she plays it off like she does because what else is she supposed to do? But then the doctor comes in and she just knows that he knows her nose isn’t real. And she prays on everything she loves that he doesn’t call her out on it. 

Rachel ropes her into singing a duet with her while they’re taking pictures of both of their noses. Although she puts up this front that she doesn’t want to do it, she’s glad that she doesn’t have to perform a number on her own. They decide on a mashup and Rachel even lets her pick one of the songs. She picks TLC’s _Unpretty_ , and of course Rachel picks a Broadway song. 

\-----

She’s nervous right before they’re about to perform. It’s an easy number, all she has to do is sit on a stool and sing, but she’s never felt so vulnerable before. Not only because of this week's assignment, but because Quinn has never really sung solos before. Yeah she sang a solo during Funk Week last year, but she was so angry with the way her life was she didn’t have time to think twice about how terrified she was to be singing on her own. And during her duet with Sam she mostly just focused on him and how he was rubbing circles into her hand. She’s hoping people will just focus on Rachel’s and how the sound of Rachel’s voice kind of drowns out her own. 

She tries not to look at anyone while she’s singing, looking over their heads or at Rachel instead. She also tries not to focus on the words, if she thinks too much about them she might start crying. But then she sees Rachel’s face after they have finished and how distressed she looks, and it almost sends Quinn over the edge. But as she’s said before, Quinn Fabray does not have slip ups. So she bites down on her bottom lip and looks down to keep composed. 

\-----

She almost dies in that hallway when she sees Lauren Zizes’ poster taped up on a wall. Lauren? Why would Lauren want to be prom queen. Why does everyone keep wanting to take things from her? Why can’t they just let her have one little thing that makes her happy. 

So she storms up to Lauren and asks her what she’s doing and cannot believe her ears when Lauren tells her that she’s running for prom queen. 

“As a joke, right?” Lauren can’t be serious. Does Lauren actually think people will want to vote for _her?_ Lauren is not prom queen material? But before Quinn can stop herself, she’s snapping at Lauren because when Quinn feels threatened, she goes off so she doesn’t show any real emotion. Being a bitch is better than looking weak. And then Lauren has the audacity to tell her that the student body wants a queen that looks like them, which is absolutely ridiculous and could not be farther from the truth. If they wanted a queen like them she wouldn’t have tried so hard to change the way she looked.

And how _dare_ Lauren call her two-faced. She’s not wrong, but Quinn isn’t going to tell her that. She’s fuming, standing there listening to Lauren say all this crap about her, Lauren knows nothing about her. But it’s fine because she’s about too, she just made it personal. 

\-----

She’s standing at her locker when Finn starts to go off about Rachel. She can’t believe he is giving her crap about what _she’s_ doing to the girl. Rachel made that choice on her own, Quinn didn’t make her do anything. She’s getting kind of sick and tired of Finn protecting Rachel. She’s his girlfriend, not Rachel. Why would Finn go after Quinn while she was with Sam if he wanted to be with Rachel? 

And yes, Quinn is helping Rachel with her nose job. But if it wasn’t Quinn helping her she knows Rachel would just run to any other girl. Brittany would definitely do it if it wasn’t Quinn. She tries to explain that to him on their way to Glee club, but he isn’t having it, telling her “I love this assignment” as if it’s a dig at her.

He doesn’t take a seat next to her and she rolls her eyes when she realizes it’s because he’s performing today, of course he is. Because Finn just loves this assignment with a capital L. 

She feels bittersweet about how seriously Finn is taking the assignment. He spent so much time with Mike learning a dance routine, as well as preparing a song and it makes her sick because she knows that it’s all for Rachel. Which she does not understand at all because how does it affect him if Rachel gets a nose job? 

She doesn’t know why she feels personally attacked by Tina’s self-acceptance rant. You can still love yourself and want to slightly change things about your appearance, there is nothing wrong with that. But it’s Finn practically begging Rachel not to change herself that gets on her nerves, why does he care so much if he doesn’t feel anything for her anymore. 

\-----

As soon as she hears Karofsky say that Santana has shown him “the light”, she knows everything he is saying is absolute crap. And Kurt, how could Santana do this to Kurt? And what about Sam, her boyfriend? Quinn is livid. 

And then she has the balls to say that the Glee club isn’t complete without Kurt. She knows Santana, they have practically been best friends their entire lives. Santana does not do things for other people unless there is something for her in return. 

And then finally, the other shoe drops. She thinks she might actually be sick that Santana is dating the guy that tormented Kurt. She knew Santana was a bitch, but this? Beyond cruel. Even she wouldn’t cross that line, and Quinn could be ruthless. 

But then she looks at Sam, how upset he looks. Did Santana even care about him at all throughout their relationship? Like yes, Quinn doesn’t love Finn, but she still cares about him. She wouldn’t dump him in front of everyone for someone else. Especially not someone who has mercilessly bullied them. 

\-----

She’s excited to see Kurt come back. Yes the two of them were never really close, but while she was living with Mercedes last year while she would sometimes hang out with Kurt, and now that she’s back she’s hoping to maybe get that friendship back. Plus she could really use his vote for prom queen.

But besides that, she could really use a friend. A friend who doesn’t backstab her or tries to take her boyfriend. She’s so lonely, her mom is never home, her friends are constantly turning on her, and her boyfriend is always with his ex-girlfriend who she can’t stand. Quinn is tired of having no one but herself. 

She’s tired of looking around Glee club and contemplating if she sat next to this person, if they would become good friends. She was close with Tina for a while because Mike and Sam are best friends, but now it’s just awkward. Santana is an obvious no. Brittany is okay, but along with the rest of the Cheerios she’s an airhead and can’t keep a secret to save her life. Rachel is the worst, and Mercedes has become close friends with Santana ever since their duet. 

So she’s excited to possibly re-spark a friendship with Kurt again. And he's step-brother with Finn, so that’s a plus. 

\-----

She’s walking to her study block when she hears it. She stops in her tracks, but then tells herself that anyone could have the name, it’s a popular name. But then she realizes that it was Lauren who said it, and she knows deep in her gut that it’s no coincidence. She thinks maybe she heard her wrong the first time. There’s no way Lauren knows her real name. _No one_ here knows her real name, she made damn sure of it. 

So she asks her, “what did you just call me?” 

And of course, knowing her luck, Lauren’s response is “well that certainly got your attention.” And then she’s asking if they can speak privately and is walking into an empty classroom and all Quinn wants to do in that moment is go home and cry. 

She sits in front of Lauren, debating if she should apologize. They both know what this is about, but maybe if she tells her that she’s sorry Lauren won’t do what Quinn knows she wants to do. 

Her ears are ringing, and she honestly doesn’t hear half of what Lauren is saying. Why would she go through all of that trouble just to win a stupid crown. If Quinn knew that this is what possibly being prom queen was going to cost her she never would have run. She can’t take it anymore, so she tells Lauren to stop and admits that the girl in the photo is her. 

“My middle name is Quinn. I stopped going by Lucy because kids made up a mean nickname.” Lauren tries to guess the nickname like this is all a joke, this is all somehow supposed to be funny. So Quinn tries to explain herself to gain a little empathy. “I hated the way I looked. I had zits, I was chubby. I felt terrible about myself.” She doesn’t tell Lauren that she still feels that way, the feeling of constant self-hatred has not disappeared as hard as she had tried. Only when she was with Sam and he would try and help her through it, but look at how she messed up that situation. But she continues because she needs Lauren to understand how badly she needs this to not get out. “I didn’t have friends. Nobody would talk to me. I was the only kid at school who had to dissect their own frog because nobody would be my lab partner.” 

She sees the understanding on Lauren’s face and she feels awful. Lauren is still so much cooler than Quinn was at her old school, but she knows Lauren gets it. And it makes Quinn feel nauseous. Because she has become the girl she used to hate, and she doesn’t remember how or when she got to that point. But she continues anyways, telling her story to Lauren because she is tired of pretending. 

“I joined ballet, lost a little bit of weight, found out I was athletic and joined gymnastics and then cheerleading. I went on Proactive for my acne, And then when my dad was transferred and got a raise I asked him if I could get a nose job. And he said yes. And then I asked them to call me Quinn.” 

Lauren asks her, “so you hate yourself?” 

And she wants to tell Lauren that yes, yes she does. And she doesn’t know how to make that feeling go away. Being herself didn’t work and changing into an entirely new Barbie version did not make it any better. She’s so miserable all of the time, so she takes her anger out on everyone else. 

But then things changed. She had this knight in shining armour who would hug her in behind when he would find her crying at her reflection in the mirror because she had stared at herself for too long and started to see pieces of that chubby middle school girl. Who would help her breathe through her panic attacks when she felt like she was losing herself. The boy who was so goofy she couldn’t focus on anything else but him. But then she lost him, and now she feels worse now than she ever did before. 

But she’s not going to tell Lauren that, so she tells her that she loves herself. And that’s why she changed herself so much. She was miserable, and she still is, but being prom queen is going to change all that. And she thinks Lauren understands. 

She’s wrong, because Lauren tells her people aren’t going to vote for her when they find out she’s a fraud. She knows Lauren’s going to tell everyone, and she’s trying to keep in her tears because why doesn't Lauren understand how badly that will destroy her if she does. This is the only thing she has to keep her going right now, she can’t lose it. 

And then the bomb drops, Lauren’s already exposed her secret. So she’s running, pretending like if she can get there on time no one will see it before she takes it down. But she’s too late because people are already pointing and laughing and staring. She rips the poster off like it’s going to make a difference and then runs into the washroom sobbing. She knows that she can be rude, but how could Lauren do this to her? After everything Quinn has gone through, why does everyone want to keep tearing her down? 

\-----

Of course they organize a flash mob for Rachel. Meanwhile Quinn skipped the rest of her day and spent the entire night crying because her life is ruined, and no one had even bothered to text her to ask her if she was okay. Not even Finn, who was probably too busy with Rachel’s nose job crisis. Rachel Berry wants to make one alteration to her appearance and everyone acts like the world is ending. And then there’s Quinn who has been miserable for weeks and no one has even noticed. Is she really that unimportant? She takes her anger out by not attending Rache’s stupid flash mob, take that everyone. Which only really screws over Quinn anyways because nobody really notices. Or so she thinks. 

She’s wearing a pair of navy baggy sweatpants from her pregnancy days and an even baggier grey hoodie because she cannot stand to look at her body right now when the doorbell rings. She assumes it’s for her mom so she doesn’t bother to go check who it is, but then the doorbell rings again and she groans while ripping her blankets off of her realizing her mother probably isn’t even home. 

She’s ready to tell who she’s assuming are girl guides that she doesn’t want any of their stupid cookies when she opens the door, but her voice gets caught in her throat because who is at her door is definitely not a girl guide. 

“Sam?” He smiles at her slightly and scratches the back of his neck, something she knows he does when he’s nervous. 

“Hey.” She doesn’t know what to say, so she opens the door wider to indicate for him to come in, but he shakes his head. “Oh uh no, I’m not staying. I actually have plans with Santana after this.” He doesn’t look her in the eye while he tells her this, just shoves his hands in his pockets and stares at her potted plant by the door. She’s about to tell him that if he’s here to make her miserable again now is clearly not a good time, but he’s talking again before she can start. “I saw the poster in the hallway.” She wants to die because of course Lauren made multiple copies. “I tried to find you after school, but you were already gone.” 

He looks up at her now and she nods a few times trying desperately to find her voice. “Yeah I uhm, I left after I saw them.” He nods as if he understands. 

“You know I told you on our, first date,” he pauses and says first date like it makes him uncomfortable to remember or talk about it and she has to blink away the tears forming in her eyes. “I told you that I put lemon juice in my hair to fit in. And I know that you would probably be really upset over all of this so I came over here to let you know that you’re still the same person Quinn. This doesn’t change who you are.” 

She opens her mouth to protest, but he shakes his head again, this time to indicate that he isn’t finished. 

“When I saw the poster, I didn’t see what I know you think everyone else is going to see. A loser or a Lucy Caboosy, whatever the hell that is.” He chucks and she smiles and him, a few tears escaping her eyes. “I just saw the girl I fell in love with.” 

He says it with a shrug and her breath catches. She wonders if he realizes the full weight of his words, what they mean. She knows that it won’t change anything between them, she’s still her and he’s still hurting, but it gives her a lot of hope. 

“Anyways, I got to go, but wanted to tell you that. Hopefully it cheers you up.” He turns to head back to his truck, but she reaches between them and grabs his hand before he can get too far. She hugs him and feels him freeze, but a moment passes and then he’s wrapping his arms around her small frame. 

She whispers, “thank you” into his chest as her tears seep through his shirt. He just kisses the crown of her head before letting her go and heading down her front steps towards his truck.

\-----

Finn approaches her at her locker the next day and she’s in too much of a good mood from yesterday to be annoyed that it took him this long to attempt to comfort her. Although she is upset about how her campaign is now over, so she tells him about that. Finn doesn’t comment on any of it, asking her if he can show her something instead. 

And then he’s pulling a photo out of her wallet and it’s that stupid Lucy photo. Is he doing this to hurt her, did he see Sam at her house yesterday? Him saying he likes that photo better has to be some sort of joke. So she asks him, “why?”. 

Because she looks awful, and she tells him that. Why is he torturing her like this? But then he’s telling her it’s the first photo where you can really see her. And she smiles and kisses him even though she’s picturing that he’s Sam the entire time. And any feelings of annoyance or jealousy towards Rachel? Fade away. 

\-----

She overhears girls call her an inspiration, and she thinks it’s a joke. People see her like that and feel inspired? There’s no way. But it makes her feel happy, genuinely happy, and she hasn’t felt like that in a long time. 

But Lauren starts walking next to her and that happiness fades away. She swears that if Lauren pulls out a picture of her dad’s mistress next she will seriously transfer schools, prom queen and Glee club be damned. 

She tells her about Jacob’s polls instead, how they have her up by forty percent and now all Quinn feels is confused. Then Lauren’s apologizing, and that confusion turns into shock and surprise. And it makes her gain respect for Lauren, so she tells her that because she deserves to hear it. 

“I had to get a nose job and go on a crazy diet to walk around this school like I owned it. And you just do it.” And the smile that appears on Lauren’s face after she tells her that makes it totally worth it. 

Lauren’s joking with her, and she’s joking back and she realizes that maybe she doesn’t need Kurt as a new best friend, maybe Lauren will do. 

\-----

She goes with _Lucy Caboosy_ as the word on her shirt and then meets everyone in the auditorium with Lauren. No one has seen her shirt yet except for Lauren who helped her do it. She laughs at Mr. Schue’s shirt, but is secretly thinking there are probably other things he could have gone with. His buttchin? That’s the thing he’s insecure about? She doesn’t know how to feel when Rachel tells them that she cancelled her appointment. She kind of envies Rachel, how everyone says they hate her and finds her annoying but whenever she’s down they’re there to pick her back up. She thinks maybe that’s why she pushed so hard for Rachel to get the nose job, because she wished she had people like that. 

Her heart breaks for Sam when he says Santana is probably off making out with Karofsky somewhere when Artie asks where she is. Her heart also breaks because she hasn’t realized he had actually had feelings for her. But Mike is patting his back and Tina is squeezing his hand and she’s glad if he doesn’t have her or Santana anymore at least he still has them. 

She, Finn and Sam are high fiving after the number which Quinn finds too good to be true, but she goes along with it before Sam realizes he still hates the both of them. When Finn runs off to Puck, Sam looks down at her shirt and then at her. She bites her lip because she doesn’t know what he’s going to say. He doesn’t say anything though, just winks at her before Mike pulls him away and she places her hand over her heart to make sure that it’s still beating. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I skip over some important parts of episodes like Blaine and Rachel's kiss in Blame It On The Alcohol, but this story is mainly focused on Sam and Quinn and what is happening to their characters as well as creating new moments that I wish happened in the show so if you're looking for them or wondering where they are, that's why they are not there.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and please let me know what you thought (:


	3. Rumours, Prom Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay to almost being finished season 2! I have some cool ideas on how to incorporate Sam in the first eight episodes of season 3 while he’s still in Kentucky. Also just a side note, I do not attend Church. I know that Sam and Quinn are both religious and go to Church and that is how Quinn finds out about his family situation, so I tried my best to make the beginning scene as accurate as possible. If I got any facts wrong or used any wrong words I apologize! Also does anyone else hate the rumours episode? I know it’s a really popular episode and I love the Brittana storyline, but I seriously hate how everyone treated Sam and Rachel made me so mad during this episode.

**Rumours**

She hears about his family situation at Church. Their families don't sit beside each other anymore due to obvious reasons, but both still attend every Sunday morning. She usually spends most of her weekend nights overthinking so she doesn't actually fall asleep until the middle of the night, making her exhausted for Church. Most mornings she's half asleep, only partially listening to what the Pastor is saying. This morning is just like those times, just as she's about to doze off on her mother's shoulder the Pastor asks them all to pray for one of their own. That catches her attention.

She sits up straight as he asks them all to keep one of the families in their prayers as they have recently been faced with financial struggles. She looks around the room to see if anyone gives off any indicators. She's hoping maybe the Pastor will give them all a hint to who the family is since she's curious, but all he says is that those who want to anonymously donate can do so by visiting his office, and then concludes the service.

She waits patiently beside her mother just like she does every Sunday, letting her mother gossip for ten minutes with some of the other mothers before they head home. Usually she doesn't pay attention, but then she hears _Evans_ and her ears perk up.

"It's a shame really, Mary never found herself needing a job since Dwight had been doing so well and now they're both struggling to find one. I heard they're living in a motel, so sad."

_A motel? How can the five of them possibly fit into a motel room?_ She feels awful. Sam doesn't deserve any of this. She whispers to her mom that she's going to head to the washroom before they go and that she'll just might her by the car.

She's hoping they haven't left yet. She runs outside trying to find Sam's car but it's not there, he's already gone. She sighs in defeat and starts to head towards her car, but then someone tugs at her dress.

"Quinn!" She turns around to face Stacy. What's she still doing here if Sam has already left, usually he takes his siblings with him when his parents want to stay behind after Church. She remembers because she would often go with them, hitting a McDonald's before heading to his house.

"Stacy? What are you still doing here? Why didn't you go with Sam?" The little girl grabs her hand and tugs her towards the playground where Stevie is sitting on a swing.

"My parents are inside having a meeting, they wanted us to wait for them out here. Sammy's at work. Come push me on the swing Quinn! Stevie won't do it." She follows Stacy towards the swings. _Sam at work? When did he get a job?_ Before she can ask Stacy more questions, Sam's parents head out of the Church. Mary looks surprised when she sees her.

"Oh. Quinn." She doesn't blame her, Sam probably told them what she did. She tries not to think too much about it because it makes her feel awful.

"I know Sam and I broke up, but if you need anything seriously, please don't hesitate to ask." It's not until she's standing right in front of Mary when she notices how tired she looks and it makes Quinn feel even worse. She wishes there was something she can do, Sam has already been through so much, mostly because of her.

"Oh no Quinn, we couldn't." She pulls Quinn a little farther from the kids so that they can properly talk, and she assumes it's because neither Stevie or Stacy really understand what's going on.

"I have so much time on my hands now that I'm not on the Cheerios, I can always help babysit, I know Sam has a job now. You guys already have my number, just give me a call whenever." She says it to make it look like her and Sam are on good terms, she knows that there is no way Mary will accept her help if she knew Sam hated her. Mary sighs and reluctantly agrees. "How is he?"

Mary tears up a bit and smiles sadly. "I think he's taking it hard, but he never wants to talk about it. He only comes to the motel when it's time to sleep or he has to watch his siblings." Her heart breaks for Sam, and she regrets now more than ever cheating on him because now she can't be there for him the way she wants to be.

She makes plans to babysit the little ones tomorrow night so that Mary can join Dwight in job hunting.

\-----

At first she thinks Mary must have given her the wrong address. _This is where they're staying? The rooms are so small._ She knocks on room 304 and Stacy opens the door, overjoyed to see Quinn. Mary is grabbing her purse, telling her Sam has already gone to work and that she'll be home by nine. Quinn bites her lip wondering when Sam gets off and Mary must notice her distress because she tells Quinn Sam won't be home until ten. She thanks Quinn one last time before leaving.

She helps the kids with their homework first and then fixes them up a snack. She takes them to the park for a while, and when they return she lets Stacy play with her hair as Stevie watches tv. They play some games she brought and before she knows it, it's eight and someone's opening the door.

She assumes it's Dwight or Mary so she doesn't bother checking, just cleans up the game pieces as Stacy runs to who's at the door. She regrets that choice as soon as she hears Stacy scream "Sammy!" from behind her.

She whips around surprised, and Sam looks just as shocked to see her standing there. Stacy is still talking to him, trying to grab the pizza he's brought home for them. But Sam isn't paying attention to her, he's still looking at Quinn.

They both stare at each other for a while, neither of them saying anything, but Stevie breaks the silence, asking them why they're being so weird. Sam looks away from him and jokes with Stevie, asking him why he's so weird before ruffling his hair.

Quinn is still frozen in place. Mary said he wouldn't be home until ten, why is he here? He sets the pizza down on the table and tells his siblings to dig in while he talks to Quinn outside. She follows him silently out of the room. He takes her to a bench and as soon as both of them have sat down she blurts out, "your mom said you wouldn't be home until ten."

He chuckles a bit and then sighs, asking her "what are you doing here Quinn?"

"I just want to help Sam. You don't deserve this." He chuckles again and she looks at him confused.

"That's what Kurt said to me." _Kurt? Since when are he and Kurt friends?_ He must have seen her confused expression because he explains that he had dropped a pizza off at Dalton when Kurt still went there and ended up telling him everything. He tells her that Kurt had said that same exact thing and then dropped off clothes for him the next day.

She doesn't know what to say to that, she appreciates Kurt for helping him and keeping his secret, but he can't tell him that. She's not his girlfriend anymore, it's not any of her business. So she asks him how he's doing instead.

It's not until he blows his bangs out of his eyes she notices the tears shining in them. She lays a hand on her shoulder and then wraps her arm around his shoulders as he sobs into her shoulder.

\-----

She thinks the school paper is stupid, nobody was into it two years ago, so why would she pay any attention to it now? But she realizes she should have when Finn storms into the choir room saying how there's something in it about her and Sam.

She rolls her eyes and gets up from her chair asking Finn if he seriously believes the _school newspaper_? It's written by highschoolers, how credible can it be? But then he's asking her why wouldn't Sam do the same thing that Finn did to him. She bites her lip from telling him that it's because Sam is a much better guy than he is, but luckily she is saved when Santana storms into the room screaming at Brittnay for giving people the impression that she is a lesbian.

But then Finn is pushing Sam and it is taking Quinn a lot of patience to keep herself from screaming at Finn. Is he an idiot? There's no actual proof of what the newspaper is saying and he is about to punch Sam for some stupid gossip an eleventh grade wrote about them?

She doesn't have time to react to Sam calling her his girl because she's in the middle of trying to stop a fight between him and Finn. God why isn't anyone helping her? _Where the hell is Mike?_ She thinks to herself. Luckily she isn't stuck for long because Mr. Schue is able to pull them apart, which is really no help since Finn ends up storming out of the room anyways. She's too pissed off at him to go after him. Sam looks at her, but she's too annoyed with him as well to do anything about it. She's also mad at Rachel because she knows she probably had something to do with this. She takes a seat next to Artie who tries to ask her what's going on, but she ignores him, deciding what the hell she's mad at him too.

\-----

Mr. Schue doesn't explain what their assignment for the week is. Just starts singing a duet with April who appeared out of nowhere, which confuses the hell out of Quinn. Finn keeps looking at her weirdly throughout the performance, but she can't be bothered to deal with him right now. She's allowing herself to enjoy something for once without having to deal with the consequences.

She likes this assignment way more than last week. If she can pick a song and sing it as a duet with Finn, maybe it will calm him down and make him realize that there is nothing going on between her and Sam. She can't mess this up, not when prom is so close.

Her car is in Burt's shop for the next week for repairs, so Finn has to drive her to and from school everyday until it's fixed. He doesn't go on his usual route to her house the next day afterschool, so she thinks maybe he's just hungry and wants to get some food first. But she grows confused when they park at the Lima Bean. _Finn hates coffee, why are we here?_

When she sees the rest of the Glee club seated at a table she realizes what this is all about.

She can't believe what Tina is saying about Sam, her boyfriend is Sam's best friend. And Sam and Kurt having an affair is about the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard. Sam is straight, and even if he wasn't, he's not a cheater. Sam is one of their own, how does it not make them sick that they're talking about him like this?

Then Rachel starts talking, trying to justify the whole thing. Quinn wonders if she'll be arrested if she throws Rachel to the ground right now and slaps her across the face. She can't sit and listen to this anymore, it's just making her angry. So she tells them all that she knows Sam's not gay and leaves, consequences with her relationship be damned. If this is what it's going to cost her? Rachel can have Finn.

\-----

She sees Sam in the hallway next day at school and curses. _Really Sam, Kurt's jacket?_ She grumbles under her breath and pulls him into an empty classroom.

"You know how this is going to look right, people already think we're doing it." He tells her with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes and whisper-yells at him "what do you think you're doing?!" He looks at her confused and she uses her hands to gesture at Kurt's jacket. "What happened to your varsity jacket?"

He shrugs his shoulders and tells her "I gave it to Stevie to wear to school, he outgrew his winter jacket and didn't have another one. I don't see what the big deal is."

She rubs her fingers into her temples a few times to stop an oncoming headache. "The big deal is that people think you're having sex with Kurt, it's in the paper."

He curses and throws his head back. "I'm not even gay. I'm going to beat the crap out of whoever runs that paper."

Before she can yell at him to not do anything stupid, the warning bell rings signaling to students it's time to start heading to their next class. So she lays a hand on his shoulder and tells him to just be more careful before exiting the room.

\-----

When she enters the motel room afterschool, she finds Sam with his head in his hands sitting at the table. Nobody else is there, which confuses her because the only reason why Quinn is there is to watch the little ones, other than to talk to Sam for ten minutes after he arrives home from his shift of delivering pizzas.

"Hey." She approaches him carefully because he's clearly upset. She puts her purse down beside her and takes a seat next to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. When he raises his head it's obvious that he's been crying.

"How do you do it?" She furrows her brows in confusion because she has no idea what he's talking about. She hopes he doesn't ask her how she dates Finn because she doesn't know how either and she doesn't feel like telling him that prom is her only reason. "You're so calm. It's like what they say about you doesn't affect you. And I can only imagine how much worse it was last year, but I can't deal with this Q. They don't know anything about me."

Her heart aches for him, because he doesn't deserve any of this. Glee club is supposed to be a family, how could they treat him like this? They're all supposed to support each other when everyone else is tearing them down, not add to that pain. They were never cruel to her during her pregnancy last year, so why are they treating Sam so differently? "As long as you know how amazing you are, that's all that's important. Who cares about what they think?"

He rolls his eyes like the answer is obvious. "I do Quinn."

She rolls her eyes back at him and places her hand over his. "Well you shouldn't, because I think you're amazing."

Before she can say anything else, Stevie and Stacy are running into the room after being picked up from their parents, who are now on their way to search for more jobs. Sam's work calls him and tells him that they don't need him tonight, so the four of them have a Disney movie marathon, watching the movies Quinn brought over and laughing when Stacy makes them sing to all the songs.

When she leaves Sam hugs her and she feels the happiest that she's felt in a long time.

\-----

She decides to start reading the newspaper so she can be prepared for every time that Finn is going to go off on her and Sam, but she's surprised when she finds that there are no articles about her today, instead one about Rachel and Finn.

She storms up to him and he has the audacity to tell her that he's the one who should be mad. Him? What the hell does he have to be mad for? Every day that she hasn't spent babysitting she's spent rehearsing a duet for their assignment. She's putting more effort into their relationship than she ever has, and he's still mad?

And then he tells her that he was staking out watching her at the motel room. She doesn't comment on how possessive and stalkerish that sounds because he's already mad, but really? Staking out? She tells him that he needs to learn how to trust her instead of calling him crazy and ignores his comment about how he can't trust her if she doesn't tell him the truth. Why are they even dating if Finn can't trust her?

She doesn't even want to perform with Finn, she's so annoyed at him. She ignored all of his texts yesterday and she hates how he puts an arm around her waist, can he not tell she wants to be as far away from him as possible?

And then Rachel, does Rachel ever make her blood boil. Finn is her boyfriend, how dare she say that she prefers her duet with Sam better. So does Quinn, but who the hell is Rachel to say that? And her reasoning being since her and Sam have gotten closer recently? If Rachel does not stop talking she is seriously going to throw her out of that chair. She ignores Arties stupid comment because she's already so furious with what Rachel said. And it's not like she could even sing more duets with Sam if she wanted too, not with Rachel as the dictator of the Glee club.

"I know what you're doing. You want Finn and I to stop singing together so that you can sing with him again." Quinn could not care less about who Finn sang with, even if it was with Santana. But Rachel's comments and her bad attitude? Are starting to really bug her. She agrees Finn and Rachel perform well together but there is no way she's going to let Rachel get her way after everything she's done.

So she tells Rachel that she can't sing with Finn as long as he's with her. She closes her palms to refrain herself from calling Mr. Schue a hypocrite again because Rachel mandates everything about this stupid club. She storms out of the room because she can't deal with being around any of those people anymore. They went from self-acceptance to this? Funny how Rachel wanted a _nose job_ everyone dropped everything to help her and Sam is living in a _motel_ and this is how they act. It's ridiculous and she won't be around for it anymore.

\-----

She can't believe Rachel and her stupid solo. And for Finn to play the drums for her? If she didn't need to win prom queen so bad she would have dumped him yesterday. This is not the guy she fell in love with last year, she doesn't know who this is. He's just allowing Rachel to sing to him like he doesn't have a girlfriend.

She's not going to sit her and allow this, but she's not going to freak out either. So she calmly asks Rachel, "don't you think it's a little inappropriate that you're singing a love song to my guy?"

And then Rachel calls her a hypocrite and tells her she's a cheater and if she could go up to Rachel and punch her she would. But she can't, so for the millionth time she says that there's nothing going on between them.

She ignores Santana's stupid comment where she blames Sam for all of this. Does she not have any respect for anyone? Sam is literally her ex-boyfriend. She watches Sam tell them all about his recent living conditions, and then storm out of the room and right before she's about to start yelling at everyone, Kurt beats her to it.

"You know I am really disappointed in you guys, especially Rachel and Finn. The way you were all attacking Sam was not okay. We're supposed to be a family, and this is how we treat each other? This is not the group of people that I came back for."

Finn looks at her with guilt in her eyes and Rachel looks like she's about to cry, and Quinn can't do it. She can't be in this room any longer. So she picks up her bag and walks out ignoring all the looks she gets as she does so.

She goes to the classroom she knows he'll be in. Her heart breaks when she sees him crying in the corner underneath all the planets. She drops her bag on the floor and wraps her arms around him whispering into his hair that it's going to be okay.

She sees Kurt as soon as he appears at the doorway. He raises an eyebrow at them as if to ask _is he okay?_ She nods her head and smiles at him, and he smiles back at her before leaving the two of them.

Finn sends her about a dozen texts that night apologizing, telling her he's going to give some of his old clothes to Sam, telling her he's going to make it up to them. She doesn't answer any of them. His fifteenth one is him telling her that the Glee club had all pitched in money to buy back his guitar, which Quinn had told him that Sam had to sell it when she went off on him after school after he tried apologizing to her in person, and he needs her to come with him to the pawn shop tomorrow so he knows which one to buy back. She agrees to come but tells him that she doesn't forgive him.

\-----

She wakes up the next day still mad, but is able to throw on a grey sweater and a pair of jeans before she can convince herself to just cancel. Finn honks his horn and she heads outside. She grows even more annoyed when she sees a guilty Rachel sitting in the back seat of Finn's truck. As soon as she opens the passenger door Rachel tries apologizing.

"Quinn I-" Quinn raises a hand to get her to stop and shakes her head.

"No." is all she says as she hops into the car. Finn sighs and runs his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

"Quinn, she's just trying to apologize." He looks like he's about to say more, but stops himself as soon as he sees Quinn's glare.

She looks at Rachel through the mirror and says "you had no right to treat us the way you did, feelings for MY boyfriend or not. You had no right. The both of you have no idea what you put him through." They both grow silent at that and no one says anything the whole ride there.

She doesn't bother waiting for them after she gets out of the car. Just heads inside of the shop and starts inspecting the guitars. She finds it instantly and tells the clerk she would like to purchase that one. Rachel and Finn both head to the register to pay and she leaves deciding she'll wait for them at the car.

Finn asks her if she wants to go with them to drop off the guitar when they're all back inside of his truck. She tells him "no, I have nothing to apologize for. Take me home."

She pulls Stacy onto her lap as soon as she sees her come into the room. She really enjoys the number that they all perform together, and she loves that her and Sam finally get to dance with Stevie and Stacy outside of the motel, but her favourite part of today was seeing how happy Sam was and swears to herself that she's going to do everything in her power to help him stay that way.

* * *

**Prom Queen**

She joins in the discussion the girls are having about prom and thinks to herself, _is Lauren serious? There is no way marriage is as important as prom._ She sets herself a mental reminder to ask Lauren if she's free tomorrow afternoon so she can help her go prom dress shopping. She's been trying this new thing where she tries helping out others. Maybe then she will finally start getting some good karma, and it will look good for her campaign. She feels bad for Mercedes and now no one has asked her to the prom. She sets a mental reminder to see how she can help with that too.

\-----

Sam tells her about how he's taking Rachel and Mercedes to the prom while they're both babysitting his siblings afterschool. Although she still hates Rachel, she's happy for him. She had been trying to convince him for weeks, even buying him a ticket for his birthday last week (along with a new comic book, she isn't that much of a bitch). He sounds so excited, telling her about how he's going to borrow a suit from his dad and they're going to get a special at Breadstix. She smiles on the outside, even though she's dying on the inside wishing she was the girl he was planning on doing all that stuff with, even if they are the complete opposite of her prom dreams. At least she would still be with him.

She picks out a baby blue dress because it makes her feel like Cinderella, and blue is Sam's favourite colour, but she doesn't tell Finn that. She feels nauseous the entire time she's getting ready, but she convinces herself that it will all be worth it as soon as she has that crown on her head.

She feels slightly better as soon as she sees her mother and Finn's reactions as she walks down the stairs. He says all the right things, and she tries not to think about how badly she wants to be hearing them from someone else.

The corsage he gets her is perfect, and she tries not to think so hard about how he managed to get it right. She appreciates the effort, but a corsage with a ribbon matching her eyes? That's not Finn's doing, someone must have helped him out. And she thinks she has a good idea on who.

\-----

She's heading off to Sam's table as soon as she walks into Breadstix. She's telling them they all look great because she genuinely think the girls look beautiful, even Rachel, but also so she knows their votes are secure. She does hoping Sam will see how amazing she looks and realize he wants her back. It's all apart of her plan, she'll get crowned prom queen, Sam will tell her he still loves her and wants to be with her again, she'll break up with Finn and she and Sam will get back together and Finn can go date Rachel again or whatever.

She cannot believe Finn is trying to start something the night of prom. All this Jessie stuff happened last year, he needs to let it go. She pulls him away trying to convince herself that as soon as she has that crown it'll be worth it.

She knows Finn's focus is not on her during Rachel's solo. She knows that he still loves her and she wonders if she ever thinks that she might still love Sam. She wants to ask him how much longer they are going to do this? Just pretend like everything is fine and that they're in love with each other and not with the people they screwed things up with.

But it hurts her heart too much to think about, so she tells Finn that she's glad to be at the prom with him, that it's what she's always wanted. Even if it isn't the truth.

\-----

She doesn't know what Finn's problem is, why can't he just let this stupid Jessie thing go. Rachel seems happy, and if he really cared about her he would let her stay that way, as much as it killed him. That's what she's doing with Sam. And then he's storming over to Rachel and Jessie and she's rolling her eyes. She swears that if Finn ruins this next for her she will never forgive him.

And then Finn is pushing Jessie and Quinn has about had it. What the hell is wrong with him? As soon as she sees Finn punch Jessie and coach running over she knows her night is done. Finn is kicked out and she's furious. After everything she's done, all the good karma she's tried to receive, this is what she gets. She glares at Rachel because she's the closest person she can lash out on before walking away.

But it's fine, she doesn't need Finn, she can still be crowned queen without him. She smiles when Figgins announces Dave won prom king even though she's dying inside. And of course to pour salt into her wounds Santana wins and has to tell her that she sucks. She could not hate Santana any more than how she does at this moment.

But then she hears Figgins announce Kurt as prom queen and her heart drops. Not because she didn't win, but because she thought they were done with all of this. Kurt is one of the kindest people she knows and it breaks her heart that their student body would do this to him.

She runs to the washroom because she is drained and at least there she can let all of her tears out in peace. But of course Rachel follows her, and she has about had it with her. Everything that has ever gone wrong in her life was because of Rachel. She told Finn about Puck being the father, although she will admit Rachel did the right thing. She cheated on Finn with Puck causing them to break up and Finn to pursue her, causing her breakup with Finn. She made what was supposed to be Quinn's sectionals all about her causing her an unnecessary amount of stress. And then she got Finn kicked out of prom.

She slaps Rachel because Rachel is so full of crap. She knows Finn still loves her, she gave her and Sam hell last week and now all of a sudden she and Rachel are best friends? It's bullshit.

But she regrets it as soon as she does it. As soon as she sees the look on Rachel's face she hates herself because Rachel is the only one in here trying to comfort her. She tells Rachel she's transferring because she hates this school and she can't be around these people anymore, it hurts her too much.

She decides to tell Rachel how she's feeling because what else does she have to lose? She tells her at least she doesn't have to be so scared all of the time. She wants to laugh when Rachel asks her what she's so afraid of. She thinks to herself, _everything. Telling the guy I love him and fearing that he might not love me back. Being myself and fearing it won't be good enough. Facing the fact that everyone hates me._

But she doesn't tell Rachel all that, instead she says "the future. When all of this is gone."

She decides from this moment on she's done being cruel. Maybe then she'll win prom queen next year and Sam will stop thinking she's a bitch and Santana will stop trying to make her life a living hell. Maybe if she stops being so mean she won't hate herself anymore.

\-----

She tells Rachel to go into the gym without her, that she'll meet her out there in a minute. She's putting the final touches on fixing her makeup when Sam walks into the washroom. He's looking at her with all this pity so she snaps at him because it makes her like she's suffocating.

"You do realize that this is the girl's washroom right?" He just chuckles at her and continues staring so she goes back to reapplying her mascara.

"You look beautiful." His unexpected compliment makes her hand shake and she hopes he doesn't notice. "I'm sorry you didn't win. Mercedes and I voted for you."

She laughs and he laughs along with her. "Isn't it pathetic that winning prom queen was the most important thing in my life?" He shrugs his shoulders and tells her she has rich white girl problems and she laughs while shoving his shoulder.

He grabs her hand and pulls her out of the washroom while telling her "come on, let's go dance."

She stands with Mike and Tina as he goes to stand behind Rachel who smiles at her, she smiles back. She watches with worry as Karofsky leaves Kurt in the middle of the gym alone, she's hoping someone will go comfort him. Before she can start looking for Rachel or Blaine, she sees Blaine ask him if he wants to dance.

Santana and Mercedes start singing _Dancing Queen,_ and she dances with Lauren. Eventually she moves onto Artie and Brittnay, before finishing the rest of the song with Mike and Tina. She hugs Tina and tries not to think about how much she misses her, the four of them had all been so close before she and Sam broke up. Sam moves over to them, joining them in their awkward dancing. He spins her around a couple of times and she forgets all about Finn and losing prom queen. The four of them dance together for the rest of the night and she thinks that if this is how she could spend every prom, she would never run for queen again.

  
  



	4. Funeral, New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the last two chapters of season two! I'm really excited about next chapter which will be more of a filler of what happens between the end of season two and beginning of season three. I've already started writing it so I hope I can get it out super soon!

**Funeral**

Life has finally been good for Quinn. Her and Santana finally made up after prom, she’s decided she’s going to finally break up with Finn and tell Sam how she feels about him. 

She’s giddy on her way to the motel. She put a little extra effort into her appearance today, going with a jean skirt and white ruffled blouse, adding a blue headband to her hair. 

She can barely contain her excitement as she knocks on the door, and much to her surprise, Sam wears an identical expression. He pulls her inside and they both say “I need to tell you something!” at the same time. She laughs and tells him to go first. 

“Mercedes and I are dating!” She feels the colour drain from her face. Mercedes? They weren’t even friends before prom and now they’re dating? She’s not paying attention to him as he’s telling her how they had such a good time and prom and he decided to ask her out on a proper date after she kissed him goodnight after he drove her home after prom. She kissed him? Her heart shatters inside her chest, of course she kissed him, he’s perfect. She knows that better than anyone. 

“But hey, what did you want to tell me?” Her eyes snap up to meet his in shock. She can’t tell him how she feels now, she can’t do that to him. She tries to think of something else, but comes up short. 

“Oh. I forgot.” He doesn’t notice the major decrease in her mood, just pouts playfully and tells her if she remembers to tell him. She smiles and nods, even though she won’t. Looks like she’s stuck with Finn after all. 

\-----

She’s annoyed at how quickly Finn jumps at the chance to sing at Regionals with Rachel. She thinks that they are both aware that neither of them really want to be in this relationship anymore, but at least she’s being subtle about it. 

So she reminds both of them not so nicely that their duet was this reason they lost last year. Which may not even be true, but she still hopes it hurts. 

\-----

She leaves a bottle of coach’s favourite protein powder and a new tracksuit on her desk while she’s gone to her scheduled washroom break. She knows Sue probably doesn’t deserve it, she knows Sue put her life through hell, but Quinn was close to her sister once, so she knows how badly it hurts to miss your sister and know there’s nothing you can do to get that closeness back again. 

She thinks it’s a great idea when Finn and Kurt suggest planning the service, even if she doesn’t voice her opinion. 

She doesn’t know what Mr. Schue or Rachel was thinking hiring Jessie as whatever his role is. He’s cruel and useless, they have gotten this far without him, why do they need him now? The fact that the New Directions are not like Vocal Adrenaline or other cutthroat groups is what works for them. 

\-----

Finn picks her up on the way to the funeral. Nobody really feels like driving alone. She wears red because black makes her cry. She sits next to Sam because simply sitting next to him makes her feel better. 

She feels Sam squeeze her hand during her speech because she’s crying and he knows how much she hates publicly crying. 

The girls all comfort each other in the washroom after the funeral. Helping each other fix their hair or touch up on their mascara. When she looks down at her phone she realizes Finn has been waiting for her for ten minutes and she should probably head out so he can take her home. 

She doesn’t comment on how Finn has been crying when she gets into his truck, just squeezes his hand and apologizes for taking so long. She doesn’t want him to feel worse. 

She can tell something’s off, and she just assumes it’s because this whole funeral has been hard on all of them. So she tells him that she’s so proud at how great he did at the funeral, but that just makes him cry more. 

So she asks him, “why are you crying?” 

And then the bomb drops, “because I’m breaking up with you.”

And  _ oh, they’re doing this now.  _ She thought they would wait until both of the people they love actually loved them back. She knows why he’s doing this, and it doesn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. She doesn’t ask him why because they both know, so she asks to confirm, “because of Rachel? Because you still love her?” 

And yeah, he’s right. He shouldn’t have done this with her. He should have let her just stay happy with Sam if he knew Rachel was his soulmate, but he ruined everything. He made her ruin everything. 

“I thought I could fix everything from last year, but I can’t.” 

She just wants him to stop. Stop talking and stop explaining because she doesn’t care. She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t care that Finn feels tethered to Rachel, she doesn’t need him to explain it to her because she gets it, she knows exactly how he feels. But Rachel will come back to him, it’s so obvious Rachel loves Finn, but Sam is over her. He’s moved on, and now Finn is leaving her too. 

She tells him no because how dare he? How dare he create this mess in her life and try to leave when it’s time to clean it up. So she tells him they’ll stay together, even if he’s confused about his feelings for Rachel. And they’ll become prom queen and king next year and Sam will surely want her back by then and then Finn can have Rachel. 

But he tells her to stop. That he doesn’t want that life, and doesn’t he realize that she doesn’t want it either? But that’s what they’re stuck with now, they both made that choice. 

“Don’t you feel anything anymore?” Of course she does, she feels all the time. He has no idea what she’s feeling. 

She screams back at him “you have no idea what I’m feeling!” and before she can stop herself, she’s crying. So she asks him because he seems to think she’s so heartless, “are you happy now? Is this feeling enough for you?” 

She can see the guilt across his face and she scoffs. If he feels bad he shouldn’t be doing this. She doesn’t see the problem with keeping them going, so why does he? He tells her he’s sorry and that he still loves her and is he serious? He can’t be serious. She is so over him trying to be this perfect good guy. It’s crap. So she tells him not to touch her and moves away from him. 

And that seems to piss him off because he tells her, “you know Quinn it’s not my fault you ruin everything you touch.”

She can’t be around him anymore. She knows she treated him awfully last year, but she didn’t do anything to him this year. So why does everyone keep punishing her? She gets out of the car, slamming the door behind her, and runs as far away from him as she can. 

\-----

He hasn’t attended church since his mom died, for obvious reasons. So of course Kurt gets lost after using the backroom and ends up exiting through the back instead of the front. He’s trying to find his way back to Mercedes’ car when he sees her. She’s sitting under a tree, head hung low and golden hair like a halo. By the way her shoulders are shaking he can tell that she’s crying. He knows Mercedes will be waiting for him, and he doesn’t really owe Quinn anything, they aren’t close friends and he could just send Finn a quick text that his girlfriend is behind the church crying, but before he realizes it he’s walking towards her. 

“Quinn?” She freezes, and then wipes her eyes before looking at him. He can still see teardrops tangled between her eyelashes and it makes his heart hurt for the girl in front of him. 

“Oh, Kurt. Hi.” She uses her hand to block the sun while she looks up at him, so to make things easier for her he takes a seat next to her on the ground, trying not to think about what it will do to the designer pants he’s wearing that he just bought online last week. He doesn’t know what to say and she doesn’t really feel like talking so they both sit and silence for a moment before Quinn bursts into tears again. “Oh God Kurt, I’m so sorry.” She’s furiously wiping at her tears and Kurt lays a hand on her shoulder to tell her it’s okay. 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone that I saw  _ the  _ Quinn Fabray crying in front of me. I’m not ready for that kind of publicity.” He gets a laugh and the tears stop, so he decides that now is probably the best moment to go in. “But Quinn, what’s wrong?” 

She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, as if she’s hesitant on whether or not she should tell him. So he speaks before she can start. “If this is about Finn you can tell me, I know he can be dumb at times.” 

She smiles sadly at him as a single tear escapes down her cheek, she doesn’t bother wiping this one away. “He broke up with me.” 

Did Kurt think his stepbrother and Quinn were meant to be? No, not at all. But does his heart still ache for the hurting girl in front of him? Like you wouldn’t believe. So he tells her that he’s sorry because an apology is the only thing he can give her right now.

“Oh Quinn, I’m so sorry.” She looks sad, and Kurt thinks that she might start crying again, but then she’s laughing. It’s dry and humourless, but it still startles Kurt because the last thing he thought his apology would do was make her laugh. 

“I’m not even crying because he broke up with me. Isn’t that pathetic? My boyfriend just broke up with me and that’s not even the reason why I’m upset. Maybe Finn was right.” Kurt doesn’t know what to say because when Finn broke up with Rachel this is not at all how she reacted.

“Right about what?” He expects her to say that the two of them were just not meant to be, or that Rachel was his soulmate. What he was not expecting her to say is what she said next.    
  


“That I destroy everything I touch.” His heart drops. Quinn is one of the strongest people he knows. With everything that happened to her last year, she closed off her heart. Many people don’t get that. Quinn isn’t heartless because she means to be, she makes mistakes because she’s afraid of getting hurt again. Kurt sees it, and he wishes others would too. 

“Oh sweetie no, don’t believe that.” She smiles sadly at him as a few more tears escape her eyes. Anger floods his body towards Finn. How dare he say something like that to her after how he went after her while she was dating Sam. Yes Quinn was also in the wrong, and she shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place, but Finn should not have pursued her afterwards. 

“No it’s okay.” She leans her head on his shoulder and he smiles, then leans his overtop of hers. “Kurt? Can I tell you a secret?” 

“I promise I won’t tell a soul. Maybe Blaine or Mercedes depending on how juicy it is.” 

She giggles, but then tears are reappearing in her brown eyes. “I still love Sam.” He can tell that she notices his shock and confusion because that was the last thing he was expecting her to say, so she starts rambling. “I thought that if he saw me with Finn he would regret breaking up with me for Santana, but then he didn’t. And I don’t know why I didn’t just break up with Finn after Santana left him for Karofsky, I guess I was just scared. Scared that if I did break up with Finn and tell Sam how I felt he would tell me that he didn’t feel the same.” 

So he places his hand overtop of hers, because he knows the feeling of loving someone and not knowing if they love you back. 

\-----

She wishes Finn would stop trying to be nice to her, does he not see that she does not want to talk to him. Of course she’s not going to quit Glee club, she loves Glee club, but obviously she’s not going to tell him that. So she makes up some lie about how she has some big plans for New York so she can get him off her back. 

____________________________________________________________________

**New York**

Brittnay drags her to sit next to Sam while they’re eating lunch the first day they get there. She had sat next to him on the plane because she had called him crying the night before about how Finn had dumped her. Mercedes was sitting next to Kurt anyways. She ended up falling asleep on his shoulder ten minutes into the flight so she didn’t have to answer any questions about what happened. 

He raises an eyebrow as soon as she sits down to ask her if she’s okay and she nods at him. She can feel him staring at her, like if he doesn’t keep an eye on her she will break. 

Rachel finally joins all of them telling everyone how she has gotten them all tickets to  _ Cats.  _ For someone who seems to love Broadway does she not know  _ Cats  _ stopped running eleven years ago? So she tells Rachel just that. 

\-----

She sits beside Sam on the bed because they have both agreed to help each other write a song. She also knows that he’s afraid that if he leaves her by herself for too long she will self-destruct and kill Rachel, but she doesn’t mind his company. 

After hearing Brittnay’s song about a cup she decides that it’s better for everyone if they go outside to find some inspiration. And she can’t stand to see Rachel and Finn together anymore. 

Although getting out isn’t much better because she’s stuck hanging out with Mercedes and Sam because Brittnay ditched her for Santana and Artie. She paints a smile on her face when she’s with them even though she would rather watch Rachel and Finn make out in front of her right now. 

She suggests to Mercedes that all the girls should go back to their room to see if they have come up with anything. She agrees, clearly oblivious to the fact that Quinn could not care less about writing a song, she just wants Sam to herself. She loves Mercedes with all her heart, but all is fair in love and war. 

\-----

She hears about Rachel and Finn’s date from Sam. He tells her he wanted to give her a heads up because she couldn’t care less. She’s just annoyed because everything is working out with Finn and Rachel and Sam is dating someone else. She’s in New York and she’s miserable. 

She spends most of the morning in the bathroom because she feels extra bitchy today and doesn’t feel like taking out on anyone else, although she is contemplating telling Mr. Schue about how Kurt and Rachel keep sneaking off. 

She doesn’t know why Santana and Brittnay bother waiting for her when everyone else is in the workroom, do they not realize she wants to be alone so she can drown in her own self pity. 

She tells the girls about her plans to snitch on Rachel and Kurt, but Brittnay tells her that she can’t because then she will have to suspend them which means they won’t be able to win Nationals, which she does not care about. 

But then Santana brings up about how Finn dumped her and to get over it and she’s annoyed. Of course she’s pissed off, why does everything keep working out for everyone else but not her? 

“I don’t want to get over it! Okay?” And Santana tells her that the only person she is sabotaging is herself, which is probably true but she’s too mad to think about that right now. “I don’t care about some stupid showchoir competition!” 

Santana is full of crap, how is some dumb showchoir competition supposed to make her feel better about herself? Nothing makes her feel better. 

She’s having a minor meltdown before she realizes it. Why can’t she have her dreams come true? She knows she isn’t the kindest person, but she does try. But it doesn’t matter because regardless of what she does everything just continues to get worse. 

She tells the girls, “I just want somebody to love me.” when she really wants to tell Santana is “I had someone that loved me and you took him.” but she doesn’t because that doesn’t go well with her new ‘trying to be kind’ look which applies to everyone but Rachel. 

Santana suggests that she get a haircut, and Brittnay thinks it’s a great idea so she decides to do it. They find a salon near the hotel and the stylist suggests that she cuts her hair to fall right above her shoulders. It’s something different and she’s never cut her hair that short before so she decides to do it. 

\-----

She meets up with Sam afterwards in the boys hotel room because they both had previous plans to Facetime Stacy later on in the day. Mr. Schue okayed it because Brittnay and Mike are also in the room going over choreography for their group number. 

He looks surprised when she and Brittnay knock on the door. As soon as she sits beside him he’s playing with her hair. “When did you cut it?” 

She shrugs and answers him, “just now, before Britt and I came here.” 

He plays with the ends of her hair and answers, “I like it.” She bites her lip and smiles, looking more at Sam than Stacy the entire Facetime call. 

\-----

She assumes Rachel and Finn kissed after their duet from the sound of the scattered applause. She just doesn’t hope it will cost them the competition, even though she says she doesn’t care, she really does love performing. So she continues on like she doesn’t know what happened. 

She sees Sam go over to Mercedes and hug her. She smiles because she is genuinely happy that he’s happy, even though she desperately wishes it was her that he was hugging, that it was her that he was happy dating. 

\-----

She can’t believe Rachel and Finn. How they are always going on about how they do everything for the team, how they’re these great co-captains, when in reality they just cost them all Nationals. 

None of them say anything as they head back into the hotel. But as soon as they all enter the hotel room all hell breaks loose. She grabs Santana along with Mike and Sam to keep her from murdering Rachel. She takes Santana to the bathroom along with Brittnay to cool her down, but she continues swearing in Spanish all night and the next morning until they all get on the plane. 

Her and Sam don’t sit next to each other on the plane ride home. They decide it’s best that she watches Santana with Brittnay and he sits next to Puck. 

\-----

Although they didn’t win, she is proud of how close they got as a group this year and how much Quinn was able to learn about herself. So long bitchy cheater Quinn, and hello new kind-hearted Quinn who cares about others more than herself, or her competition. And next year? She just knows that will be enough for her and Sam to get back together because they are Ken and Barbie. And Ken and Barbie? Well they are soulmates. 


	5. Before Season 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a filler between the end of season 2 and season 3! I apologize for it being so short, but I always felt like we needed more of a backstory on what happened regarding Sam's move.

He sends her a text on a Wednesday night while she's going through college pamphlets Ms. Pillsbury gave her during the last week of school. _Come out, I'm outside._ At first she thinks it's a joke, it's pouring outside, what could he possibly be here for this late? She checks the clock on her phone and it says it's half past eleven. They haven't spoken for a few weeks because he's been busy dating Mercedes and she's been busy being miserable about it, but she sees his truck parked across the street with the lights still on when she goes to peer outside her window. She thinks to herself, _what the hell?_ as she's shrugging on an oversized grey zip up that she thinks is his that she never gave back, overtop of the small navy shorts and white tank top she has on.

She throws the hood over her head and runs through the rain towards his truck as soon as she gets out the front door. "Sam?" she yells because it's raining so hard. He's standing in front of his truck, and she can tell he's been crying even though it's raining. She cups his cheek forcing him to look at her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm moving." She drops her hand from his cheek like he's burned her, and he finally looks her in the eyes. "I'm leaving in a week."

She feels like someone has just knocked the wind out of her. A week? All she has left with him is a week? She takes a step back from him because she feels like she's suffocating. She has so many questions, so many things she wants to say, and so little time. Her mind is racing, and the words _please don't go, I still love you_ are on the tip of her tongue. Instead she asks him, "where?"

He tells her Kentucky and she thinks _Kentucky? What the hell is in Kentucky?_ He must notice her confusion because he tells her his dad found a decent job out there and his mom has an interview lined up.

"What about Mercedes?" _What about us?_

"It'll have to end." _This is going to have to end._

She starts screaming at him then. Telling him he can't leave, they're about to be seniors. They still have to win Nationals together and someone has to make sure she doesn't strangle Rachel and he still hasn't fulfilled his promise on teaching her how to play the guitar. Her voice cracks when she tells him that he can't leave her here alone with all these people that she can't stand and he grabs her and wraps his arms around her while she sobs into his chest.

* * *

Mercedes and Kurt decide to throw him a going away party. She debates on whether or not she should actually go. She's already said her goodbyes to his family when she had gone over to help them pack last weekend, and she's not going to say goodbye to him. Because it's not goodbye, it's _see you soon._

She decides to go anyway. She wears a pretty white sundress and her hands are shaking when she parks at the Hummel-Hudson residence. She has this entire speech prepared in mind, _I love you, and I'm sorry I'm telling you all of this now because you're leaving. But I love you and I wanted to tell you before you left. But then you started dating Mercedes and I wasn't going to ruin that for you, not when I had already ruined everything else. I don't know why I didn't break up with Finn when you broke up with Santana, and that along with cheating on you will probably be two of my biggest regrets. But I love you Sam, I love you now just how I loved you then and I can't stop._

But she doesn't get the chance because he avoids her the entire time. He won't allow her to talk to him alone and she's confused. Did she do something? They had been fine last week at the motel. She convinces herself he's probably just upset about his breakup with Mercedes that had happened two days ago, ignoring the fact that he's been talking to Mercedes for most of the party.

His family comes to pick him up a couple of hours later, telling him it's time to go. He says individual goodbyes to each of them, everyone but her. She's surprised and hurt, she knows that she has upset him in the past, but she thought they were fine now. He's really not going to say goodbye?

She watches him hop into his truck, his parents car already heading down the road. He waves to all of them before he starts the car and the tears stop flooding down her cheeks. She's standing beside Kurt who must notice her distress because he pulls her into a hug. She pretends that she is laughing into his shoulder to cover up the sounds of her sobs.

* * *

She visits him in his new house in Kentucky two weeks before school starts. She gets in her car at four in the afternoon and drives three and a half hours without stopping to see him. She texts Kurt asking for his address and ignores his second message asking her why she needs it if they had his going-away party just three weeks prior.

She sits in her car across the street for twenty minutes before she even has the courage to walk up to his door. What would she even say? _Hey Sam, I'm sorry for cheating on you last year, and I know you were with Mercedes this summer and are probably still into her, but the thing is? I still love you._ She's sure he would appreciate that.

She gets out of her car anyways with no speech prepared in her mind. Despite it being the end of August, she finds herself slightly shivering standing in front of his door in black running shorts and an old faded red McKinley shirt at eight in the evening. She thinks that's what motivates her to knock on his door.

She kind of forgot about his siblings while on the ride over, which is terrible because of the amount of time she spent babysitting them. But embarrassment washes over her in waves when Stevie is the one who opens the door instead of Sam.

"Oh. Stevie. Hi." He looks just as surprised as to see her standing there. For a minute she thinks that maybe he doesn't remember who she is. It has been a while since she has last seen him and Stacy.

"Quinn?" He says her name like it's a question. Like he doesn't know why she's here. And if he were to ask her? She wouldn't know what she would say because she doesn't exactly know why she's here either. Stevie continues to stand there, his hand still on the doorknob, confusion painted on his face. She wants to roll her eyes at how he hasn't figured it out yet that she's clearly here to see Sam, but contains herself because if she was in his position she would probably feel the same way. His brother's ex-girlfriend who cheated on him driving for almost four hours and showing up on his doorstep? Not something that's very common. Before she can ask him to get Sam, she hears his voice.

"Stevie? Who's at the door?" Stevie doesn't get a chance to answer him as Sam appears behind him. As soon as he registers that it is indeed Quinn Fabray, his face mirrors the same expression as his younger brother still standing in front of him. "Quinn?" She slightly chuckles at how similar the two brothers are.

"Hi." She doesn't know what else to say. She knows that he's probably going to ask her why she's here, but she hasn't quite figured that part out yet. He blinks twice, like he's dreaming and she isn't really here. But there she stands, slightly shivering and biting her bottom lip nervously. Quinn Fabray in all her glory.

"What are you doing here?" Stevie has run off somewhere in the house, and she assumes before he can go off and tell Stacy about their special guest, Sam steps outside and closes the door behind him. She's trying to figure out whether he's genuinely unhappy to see her, or just shocked. She prays it's the latter.

"I-" She cuts herself off. What is she supposed to say? She can't say that she doesn't know. But she also can't say that she still loves him and the thought of never seeing him again keeps her up at night, sobbing into her pillow. "I wanted to come see you."

He chuckles because he knows it's bullshit. He knows there's more. She knows that he knows there is, but Quinn Fabray isn't honest with her feelings. She never has been, and she especially is not going to start changing that now.

"Why?" She knows that Sam stopped taking her crap a long time ago, but she hopes the look she gives him shows that she's pleading with him to let her have this. Let her get away without having to explain herself. Not that she ever has before. She didn't explain to him why she cheated on him with Finn, she didn't explain to him why he decided to date Finn after they broke up, but he never gave her the chance. And now that he is, she doesn't want it.

"Because we didn't get a proper goodbye." It's not exactly a lie. Sam had a moment with each individual New Directions member except for her. Even Lauren got a proper goodbye, but for some reason at his party he had been avoiding having to spend time alone with her like the plague.

"What do you want Quinn?" Her brain is telling herself to leave it. He clearly doesn't want to see her, she made a mistake. But her heart is telling her to stay. For once in her life, fight for what she truly wants. So she does.

"Please Sam." She doesn't quite know what she's begging him for, but she hopes he does and gives it to her. He sighs and runs his left hand through his newly cut hair. Her hand twitches as she almost goes to fix a strand that falls onto his forehead. He nods his head towards her car.

"Alright. Let's go."

They somehow end up at a park. They're sitting on an old blanket she had in the trunk of her car. There's nobody else really there except for them, sitting and laughing on some random ratty old blanket on a Thursday night on one of the last days of summer.

She doesn't know if it's because after this they'll probably never see each other again, or because he's tired of being hostile towards her, but there's no tension between them, it almost feels like how they acted around each other before all of this, when they were still together and allowed to be in love.

He tells her about how he and Mercedes ended things the day that he left because neither of them really want to deal with the long distance, and she tells him about how Finn dumped her in his truck after Jean's funeral like Sam didn't already know. They talk about how happy they are to be done with Ms. Patterson's English class, they talk about how he feels about his new neighbourhood, they talk about anything and everything. Anything but them.

But then she's looking down at the blanket, putting her finger through one of the holes in it, thinking about how much more she owes him than just this. After everything that she's done to him, she really doesn't deserve a proper goodbye.

"Sam, why didn't you say goodbye?" she can feel him staring at her, but she cannot muster up enough strength to look him in the eyes.

"What?" He sounds like he doesn't know what she's talking about, which she thinks is bullshit because she thought they were okay about everything. She helped him babysit his siblings, he kept her from losing her mind.

"You avoided me at your going away party, why? I thought you forgave me for everything." Her voice is shaky and she's afraid that if she looks at him she'll start crying.

"I didn't know how to say goodbye to you. It was too hard." She hates this. How he's now here and she's stuck in Lima without him. Who's going to write little notes in her notebook when she's not looking? Who's going to act out scenes from her favourite disney movies for her? Who's she going to love if it's not him?

"I'm sorry." She doesn't know what exactly she's apologizing for, she just hopes he understands. He doesn't say anything, but when she looks back up at him he's smiling sadly at her. He goes to wipe a stray tear off of her cheek and she leans her face into his palm hoping he won't notice. They stare at each other, only the two of them in this moment. His face moves closer to hers and she closes her eyes as he kisses her.

It starts off slow and sweet like the kisses they used to share by his pickup truck afterschool. But then it becomes more rough, more urgent, as if he's trying to say _if this is goodbye, this is how I want you to remember me._ And his lips move to her neck and her hands are in his hair and if she were to die right here right now she would be fine with it as long as she went with his hands resting on her hips the way they are right now.

But then his fingertips are playing with the bottom of her shirt and he breaks away to raise an eyebrow at her asking her for permission. She nods her head and he smiles, takes off her shirt following with his own. Then he's taking off their pants and moving to grab a condom out of his wallet and she prays that he can't hear the beating of her heart telling him that she still loves him.

There's a thin layer of sweat covering her after they finish. Her body is still tingling and she feels like she's on cloud nine. She's too content to move or even bother getting dressed. And in another life, a better one where she doesn't mess everything up between them, they are laying in her bed. They're allowed to stay naked under her sheets because her mother doesn't bother checking in anymore. Maybe he sleeps over, or maybe they stay up talking for a few more hours before he has to return home. His parents were always more strict on the curfew thing than her mother ever was.

He brushes a strand of hair off of her cheek and she tries not to react too much because she doesn't want to ruin the moment, but as soon as he realizes what he's doing he's snapping his hand away and passing her clothes over to her. The hurt she's feeling must show on her face because she sees the guilt in his eyes as they look at one another as he's handing her the old McKinley shirt she was wearing. He makes up for it by throwing his arm around her shoulders as they both lay on their backs onto the blanket once more staring up at the stars above.

He's playing with a strand of her hair. She decides that if this is the last time the two of them might ever spend a moment like this, then she is going to do it with no regrets. She's half listening to him point out the different constellations, remembering how much of a genius he was at astrology. It reminds her of a different time, the night that she told him that she loved him. They had been laying in the bed of his truck, similar to how they are now, and he had been pointing out the Big Dipper to her when she just blurted it out, _I love you._ He had been surprised at first, eyes all wide, but then his face broke out into the biggest grin and he kissed her before continuing onto the Little Dipper. She wonders if he's thinking about that night right now too.

"Do you remember what it was that made you fall in love with me?" She doesn't know if he'll answer. If he'll want to go down this road with her again. But then he's laughing softly and it makes her smile in a way she hasn't for a long time.

"Do you remember that day we tried baking cookies for Stacy's birthday?" and she does. And it makes her laugh along with him. It had been a couple of days before the Hudson-Hummel wedding. Stacy had been asking her mother to make her cookies for her birthday, but Mary just hadn't had the time. So Quinn offered. Sam of course was ropped into helping her, and even though he and Quinn had ended up engaging in a flour fight while the cookies were in the oven, Stacy's reaction when she realized Quinn was making her cookies made it all worth it. "When Stacy had run into the kitchen and saw the cookies, you looked so happy. You had flour all over your nose and in your hair, but you didn't even care or notice as soon as you saw Stacy. And looking at you, in that moment I just knew. So I saved up my allowance for a couple of weeks and bought you that ring because I wanted you to know too."

He's not looking at her while he's telling her all this, eyes still fixated on the sky above. So she allows a few more tears to roll down her cheeks and reaches beside her head to squeeze his hand.

They stay like that for what feels like hours, reminiscing and remembering, until Quinn decides it's probably best that she heads home. It's half past eleven, so she won't get home until around three. Sam tries to convince her to stay, that it's too late for her to be driving all that way, that she can crash in Stacy's room. She rejects his offer, as much as she would like to accept and spend the entire night with him, she's gotten what she came here for, a proper goodbye. So he kisses her softly after she drops him back off at his house, and tells her to text him when she gets home, he tells her that he'll call her soon. Neither of them say goodbye, they just smile at each other once more before she gets into her car and drives off.

He doesn't call like he says he would. She waits three days before she sends him a text telling him it was great seeing him. He replies six hours later and it's almost pathetic how quickly she drops what she's doing to check what he said. He sends her back _yeah_ and her heart drops. It breaks in half just how it had in the hallway that one Tuesday when he broke up with her because she cheated on him with stupid Finn. Stupid Finn who is still somehow screwing her over even though they broke up months ago. Stupid Finn who she blames all of this on because if she doesn't blame Finn she is going to have to accept that all of this is her fault.


	6. The Purple Piano Project, I Am Unicorn, Pot o' Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to season 3! So a few notes beforehand. I know Quinn is the one who helps Puck pass his retest/exam and they grow closer in season three and he sort of helps her out of her Skank phase, but I’m changing it so that Puck passes the first time when the Glee boys tutored him. I’m also changing it so that when Quinn goes to babysit Beth she goes alone and she doesn’t plant all that stuff in Shelby’s apartment, something else happens instead (you’ll have to read to find out (; ). Kurt will take more of a role in helping out Quinn when she becomes Skank Quinn because I adore the idea of the two of them being besties. 
> 
> My reasoning for this is because Puck and Quinn’s relationship always made me a tad uncomfortable. They were definitely cute together, and that baking scene in S1 was adorable, but the foundation of their relationship was based on him helping her cheat on Finn, and that is where my problem is. Not that he helped her cheat, but how he did. The whole idea of getting Quinn drunk on wine coolers did not sit right with me, it just felt like the situation was non-consensual. I know Puck had good character development, but he has never really been my favourite character anyways. I’m not going to get too into it because I know people have different opinions, but that is mine and that is why Puck will not be playing a big part in Quinn’s S3 storyline, or a major part in this story at all. I don’t know what I’ll do when I get to S5, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there!
> 
> And as per usual, I was too lazy to edit so I apologize for any mistakes I missed.

**The Purple Piano Project**

She thought that dyeing her hair pink and getting a stupid fake Ryan Secreast tattoo would be able to distract her from how empty she feels inside. That the attention and shock she got from her classmates while she walked down hallways and into classrooms would distract her from the fact that she hasn’t felt whole in a year, but nothing does. She smokes cigarettes because it numbs everything for a few solid minutes, and it keeps people away from her. Instead of pompoms and a short skirt she uses a nose ring and a bad attitude as an intimidation tactic. 

She’s made new friends. And yeah, maybe they don’t see that she’s suffocating either, just how none of her Glee friends had, but at least they’re able to help distract her from the pain. 

She meets Brittnay and Santana at the fence because part of her misses them, and the other part of her knows that this is finally the opportunity she’s been waiting for to tell Santana what she really thinks of the way she treated her. 

She’s only half paying attention to what they’re saying. This summer taught her a lot of things. She and Santana had been best friends first before they had met Brittnay, and Santana had never done half the stuff she did to her that she had done to Brittnay. 

She notices Brittnay nodding and agreeing to something Santana had said and tries her hardest to remember what it was. She hasn’t had anything except for cigarettes yet and behind her black sunglasses she knows she probably looks like she could pass out at any second. 

“We’re like besties for life.” Santana tells her and Quinn laughs. She knows it doesn’t go well with the look that she’s trying to portray, like she’s too cool to actually care about anything. But besties for life? Could not be farther from the truth. 

“How are we besties for life Santana? Look at all the crap that we’ve done to each other. I told Coach Sylvester about your boob job to become cheer captain, you tried to hook up with Puck while I was pregnant, and you stole my boyfriend last year. How could you do that to me if we were ‘like besties for life’?” She coughs to cover up the fact that her voice broke at the end. She tries to remember what things were like before this, before highschool popularity and hormones. 

She looks away as soon as she sees the guilt in Santana’s eyes, she has come too far to fall apart again. 

“Come on Quinn, you can’t break up the Unholy Trinity.” The desperation in Santana’s voice washes over her body in waves, but she bites her tongue so she doesn’t say anything she’ll regret later. 

“People grow apart. Deal with it. I’ve got new friends now, and they accept me for who I am.” She knows that neither of them will see the tears escaping her eyes as she walks away from them. Part of her hopes that they’ll leave her alone now, let her self-destruct in peace. The other part hopes that they can tell that this is a cry out for help, _I’m broken, please help fix me._

\-----

She expected Santana and Brittnay because despite the three of them constantly doing things to screw each other over, they’re all still best friends. She thought maybe Finn or even Tina would come next. Maybe her and Tina would joke about switching looks over the summer, but the person she did not expect to see try to convince her to go back? Rachel Berry. 

She wants to tell Rachel that she’s wrong, they were never friends. Friends don’t do to each other what the two of them did to each other. And she’s shocked at how much Rachel has been paying attention. How her cutting off all of her hair before Nationals was not just because she wanted to get a new haircut. She thinks that the rumours about her must be pretty bad if people are thinking she’s dating a forty-year-old skateboarder, but she doesn’t care enough to correct it. Rachel’s speech is just making her depressed, she doesn’t want to hear about how much she’s spiralled, it just reminds her of everything she’s lost. 

So she cuts her off and tells her, “I’m not coming back to Glee Club.” 

The recruiting number does sound really cool, and yeah she will admit she listens to the Go-Go’s. Her and Sam used to listen to them all the time in his truck when she was tired of hearing his country albums. 

Rachel’s _sorry_ that she’s sad? Does she not realize that she’s partially the reason? She wants to laugh but her lungs hurt from the cigarettes she’s been smoking. _Family my ass_ she thinks. Each of those members have sold each other down the river more than anyone else ever has. How is that a family? They only ever notice things are wrong with another member when it’s too late. She doesn’t need people like that. They don’t really care about each other. 

\------

He can’t believe his eyes when he sees Jacob Ben Israel’s latest point, _Quinn Fabray: Good girl finally gone bad?_ Bad? There’s no way that’s Quinn. He just saw her about a month ago, she didn’t have pink hair or a nose ring, there’s no way. But those eyes, he knows those eyes. Those are Quinn Fabray’s eyes. So he calls the only person he knows who can give him some sort of explanation. 

He doesn’t say hello when Kurt answers, just asks him “what the fuck is going on with Quinn?” 

He rolls his eyes when Kurt responds back “well hello to you too Samuel.” He knows it’s been a while since he last talked to Kurt, so he kind of feels bad that he didn’t ask Kurt how he was first, but he hopes Kurt will understand. 

“What happened to her? And why didn’t you tell me? I had to find out from JBI’s stupid blog” He doesn’t get it, Quinn was fine when they last saw each other, she seemed genuinely happy. What changed? He hears Kurt sigh and his body fills with worry. Something really bad must have happened to her to push her over the edge like this. 

“I don’t know.” Kurt tells him, ignoring Sam’s second question about why none of them told him. He doesn’t _know_ ? How could he not know? School started a week ago, no one thought to ask her what’s wrong? But before he can ask more questions, Kurt gives him a few more answers. “She stopped hanging out with all of us two weeks before school started and the next time we saw her, she was walking down the hallway with pink hair and ripped black clothing. Santana and Brittnay tried talking to her, Rachel too, she wasn’t interested.” He doesn’t focus on who tried to talk to her, his mind keeps replaying _two weeks before school started_ in his head, why does that sound so familiar? Then it clicks, Sam saw her two weeks before school started. 

“Shit.” He couldn’t have been the one to push her off the edge, could he? But that’s the only thing that makes sense, unless something happened immediately after she got home. He never called her like he said he would, and he gave her the worst response when she told him it was great seeing him. He feels like such a moron, Quinn is so fragile and he had always tried so hard to keep everyone from breaking her. Who knew in the end that the one to do it would be him. 

“What?” He forgets that Kurt is on the other end of the line. He debates if he should tell Kurt. He feels like there was a nonverable agreeance between him and Quinn to not tell anyone about how she went to visit him, but he’s worried about her and doesn’t know what else to do. 

“Kurt I slept with her.” He flinches on his end when Kurt screams back in response _YOU WHAT?_ and the details are pouring out of his mouth before he can stop himself. “She came to see me saying I didn’t give her a proper goodbye or something and then we just started talking and she apologized and I just felt like kissing her and then it just happened.” 

Kurt just snorts in response and tells him, “if I’m being honest with you Sam, I don’t think she fell off the deep end because the two of you slept together.” 

“No Kurt, I told her that I would call her and I never did. And then she texted me a few days later saying how it was great to see me or something like that and I just sent ‘yeah’ in response. It’s the only thing that makes sense, unless something else happened to her.” And then it clicked for Kurt. What Quinn had told him at Jean’s funeral, how she had avoided him and declined his offers to hang out whenever he had been with Mercedes, and then how he had held her as she sobbed after Sam had left. She still loved him. 

_Oh Sam,_ he thinks. _You have no idea._ But he won’t do that to Quinn or Mercedes, this is a mess they all need to deal with on their own, what he does tell Sam is that he will look out for Quinn, and then he hangs up before he can reveal something he shouldn’t. 

\-----

Kurt finds her on the bleachers alone during lunch hour the next day. She’s smoking a cigarette and he scrunches his nose up in disgust. He remembers a time where he and Quinn would bond over their mutual hatred for cigarette smoke, how did things go so south so quickly? 

He takes a seat next to her on the top bleacher and she looks surprised to see him. He looks down at her cigarette and she puts it out, embarrassed. 

“He called me.” he tells her without looking at her, staring at the soccer team practicing on the field instead. Her head whips towards him, but she doesn’t ask who he’s talking about. They both already know. “He went off on me for not telling me about your new look. He was pissed that he had to find out from Jacob Ben Israel’s Glee blog.” 

He moved, why would he still be keeping tabs on all of them? He must have new friends now. A small part of her thinks maybe he isn’t, maybe he is just paying attention to her and what she’s doing, but before she can think too much about it, she convinces herself that it’s ridiculous. 

“He told me about you two.” Kurt still won’t look at her which is driving her crazy because she can’t read him if he’s not looking at her in the eyes. “He told me that you slept together.” She cringes at what Kurt must think of her, Mercedes is his best friend and she slept with her ex-boyfriend, who is also her ex-boyfriend but still. But before she can make any guesses Kurt finally looks at her and places his hand over her knee. “He’s worried about you.” 

She quickly wipes a tear that escapes from her eye before he can see it. She knows he has. She doesn’t say anything, if Sam cared about her he would have called her instead. He would have called her three weeks ago like he said he would. 

“This isn’t you Quinn, and you know it.” She internally thanks Kurt for changing the subject, her heart hurts too much from constantly thinking and talking about Sam. But this new topic isn’t exactly ideal. 

“Then who is?” She doesn’t try to put up a fake persona with Kurt, she knows he’ll see right through it. And if she’s being honest? He’s really the only person she really trusts. She trusts him more than she trusts herself. 

“I’m not sure, but I can tell you one thing: this isn’t going to help you find her.” He pats her leg and then stands up and heads back down the bleacher steps, leaving her to let his words sink in. 

\-----

She realizes she must have missed a lot when she sees Blaine performing _It’s Not Unusual_ in the courtyard. When did he even transfer from Dalton? She sees the Cheerios pour gasoline on one of the pianos and knows Santana probably has something to do with it. Normally she wouldn’t participate in this sort of thing, as soon as she realized she actually enjoyed being in Glee Club she separated it from the Cheerios, regardless of how badly Coach Sue wanted her, Santana and Brittnay to sabotage them. She thought Santana was always on the same page as her, but she guesses not. She feels jealous of how fun everyone is having, so she throws her used cigarette on the piano. 

\-----

She doesn’t know why she shows up to the auditorium. She’s felt like punishing herself lately. She gets a call from Sam while she’s watching them all perform and curses, declining quickly so they don’t hear her ringtone. 

She looks down at the message he sends her shortly after. _Q, I think we need to talk._ She scoffs and rolls her eyes, ignoring the tears that fill up in them. She doesn’t reply. 

____________________________________________________________________

**I Am Unicorn**

It only takes her two weeks before she starts hating herself again, more this time than ever before. Pushing girls heads into toilets so they will give her and The Skanks their lunch money? That’s not who she is. Yes Quinn has been cruel in the past, but this is crossing the line, she knows it is. 

She tries to light a cigarette before Sue starts lecturing her. She wants to be numb before she starts ripping into her, she doesn’t have enough self-confidence anymore to take it like she used to. But then she asks her, “it really does make you look cooler doesn’t it?” and it just makes her confused. 

She doesn’t know what to say to that. She assumes Sue is only here to convince her to join the cheerios again, so she tells her “sorry coach, you have no power over me anymore, ‘cause I got nothing left to lose.” 

She’s trying to figure out what Sue’s game is here. Is she just here to tortue her for last year because her, Santana, and Brittnay had all quit causing her to lose her regionals? 

Of course Sue blames the Glee Club, meanwhile when you join the Cheerios along with pom poms and a uniform you also develop an eating disorder, but Quinn doesn’t bother telling Sue that, she knows there’s no point. 

She could not care less about Sue’s stupid campaign video, but she decides if she is going to do it she might as well get something out of it. So she tells her she wants couches under the bleachers because she knows what she really wants, Sue won’t be able to give her. And she can’t think of anything else at the moment. 

\-----

Kurt grabs her arm as soon as she exits the washroom. She rolls her eyes and tries to break free, but it’s like he has a death grip. 

“Look Kurt, whatever this is about I don’t really have time for, I have to meet the Skanks on the roof.” He shushes her and pulls her into what she thinks is an empty classroom. 

Anything else she was thinking of saying leaves her mind as she sees Shelby sitting at a piano. She can’t believe Kurt would do this to her, the two of them would ambush her like this. 

She doesn’t know what to say, she tries to turn around to leave but Kurt steps in front of her shaking his head. So she turns back around and says “you’re back.” while crossing her arms. She doesn't care about how Shelby went to New York, about how she is mothering _her_ daughter. Is she doing this to make her miserable? To tortue her because she has her daughter and Quinn doesn’t? 

She cuts her off because hearing about Beth is starting to make her feel sick. She doesn’t want to hear about it anymore, so she tries to turn around again, but both Shelby and Kurt plead with her to just hear Shelby out.

She’s not going to pass up the opportunity to see her daughter, so she asks Shelby “when do I get to see her?” 

She doesn’t need Shelby to ask her what’s wrong because she’s fine. She’s content being this way, she likes the look she has now. How dare Shelby give her an ultimatum, to change the way she is or else she can’t see her child. So she snaps. 

“You think you can tell me what to do? Just cause you signed a couple of papers? You’re not her mom! I’m her mom! Me! So you can pretend all you want, but that is something you are never going to be.” 

She walks out after that and this time the both of them let her. 

\-----

Kurt finds her sitting on the floor of the girls washroom crying. She doesn’t look up as he walks in, just asks him “why would you do that to me?” 

He sits down next to her, not before making a face at how dirty the floor is. “I heard she was back from Rachel. I thought you might want to see Beth.” 

She shakes her head and screams at him “I was fine without knowing her! I was fine without having her here!” She’s furious. Yes there were moments where she missed Beth like crazy, but she knew she did the right thing. She herself was a child, she wouldn’t have been able to support Beth. She gave her daughter the life she deserved, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t wish everyday that she could have been the one to give it to her. 

He wipes away a few of her tears and tells her, “you deserve some sort of happiness Quinn, and Beth deserves to know who her biological mother is. But the question is, do you want her to know you like this?” 

Of course she doesn’t, she wants all of her children to be proud of who she was, but she doesn’t know how to get there, so she just sobs into Kurt’s shoulder as he pats her hair soothingly. 

\-----

  
  


She calls him crying later that night, she doesn’t know why but he’s the first person she thinks of. She doesn’t expect him to answer, but he does just when she’s about to hang up. “Quinn?” He sounds out of breath, and there is stuff moving in the background. 

“If you’re busy it’s okay.” She wants her voice to come off as mean, like she doesn’t really need him, but instead it sounds like it’s obvious that she’s crying. 

“No hey, what’s wrong? I’m not busy at all, I'm just attempting to unpack the last of my boxes for my room.” The fact that it’s been about two months and he’s still not unpacked makes her let out a breathy laugh and she can practically see him smiling on the other end of the phone. 

“Shelby’s back.” She hears something fall and him curse so she asks him quickly “are you okay?” 

“Yeah I’m fine that just caught me by surprise.” She laughs quietly, remembering how clumsy he is when caught off guard. “Wait Shelby? I thought she left Lima after adopting Beth.” 

“Yeah she did, but now she’s back and she’s giving me this ultimatum that I can’t see Beth until I pretty much go back to how I was before. Which is such crap because I’m her mother, I should be allowed to see her no matter what. She can’t just dangle the possibility of a relationship with her like that.” 

He listens to her ramble, knowing she only does it when she doesn’t feel in control of a situation. He’s not paying as much attention to her as he probably should be, instead trying to find a good place to show off the limited edition Marvel comic he just got. He lets her finish, and then gives her the advice he knows she probably won’t want to hear. 

“Look Q, you just need to decide what’s more important, having a relationship with Beth or keeping this Skank look.” He hears her scoff and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing. 

She sighs and decides that she doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, so she tells him to tell her about how he’s been settling in, while she gets into bed, eventually falling asleep to the sound of his voice. 

\-----

She thinks Sue’s idea for her video is dumb. She expects to win congress like this? How will any of this possibly showcase how the arts ruined her life? She doesn’t even snort Splenda or cut class. Yeah she doesn’t really care about anything anymore, but she’s not going to risk not graduating. 

She doesn’t even smoke corn starch, and how did Sue even manage to get it into her locker? She ignores Becky’s comment and follows them as they drag her into Mr. Schue’s office. 

She doesn’t believe half of the stuff Sue is making her say, she knows that Glee Club didn’t make her lose any of those things, but she needs to let her anger out somehow. She’s only sorry that Mr. Scue is the unfortunate victim. 

Mr. Schue has never called her Ms. Fabray so she’s a little terrified. She doesn’t know what he’s going to say, but she has a feeling it’s going to be a whole lot of what she doesn’t want to hear. 

She can’t believe him, thinking she only cares about herself, he has no idea what she’s dealing with. But before she can tell him, he slams a fist down on his desk and continues. She hates that he’s right, she has been selfish towards everyone in that Glee Club, she should have treated them all better, especially Mercedes. So she storms out of his office because even though everything he said was the truth, there is no way she is willing to tell him that. 

\-----

She feels uneasy as soon as Puck enters the girls washroom. She doesn’t like being alone with him for obvious reasons. She appreciates all that he had done for her while she was pregnant, but after realizing a few things their whole ‘relationship’ if she can even call it that, makes her sick. 

She tells him that he can’t be in the girls washroom as a way of telling him she doesn’t want him near her, hoping he will take the hint and leave. Of course he doesn’t. 

Who is he to tell her that she needs to get it together? This is the guy that went to juvie for stealing an atm. She tells him that everyone (when she really means him and Shelby) needs to leave her alone, she’s fine the way she is. 

But then he tells her that she saw Beth, how she looks like the old her and she feels nauseous. Shelby let Puck, who has a criminal record might she add, she Beth? It’s crap. Yeah Quinn looks like a mess and smokes a lot, but she’s on top of everything. She still gets good grades and goes to class, Puck doesn’t even go most days. He’s a terrible role model for Beth, it’s bullshit. 

She tells him she doesn’t care, that it doesn’t matter. Neither of them are parent material anyways. He tells her that they can be and she laughs because there is no way the two of them will ever be together. But she guesses that doesn’t really matter to him since he tells her that he doesn’t care about her, he just cares about Beth. 

He tells her that Beth needs her in her life and she almost believes him. Almost. What could Beth need with her? Why would she possibly want a relationship with the woman who gave her up? Even if Quinn does decide to have a relationship with her, Beth will probably grow up thinking Quinn didn’t want her. She tries to convince herself that it will be easier for the both of them if she just stays away. 

\-----

She’s not entirely sure why she decides to visit Shelby. Well she does know why, she wants to see her daughter, but that doesn’t go well with the whole _I don’t care about anything_ look so she pretends like she doesn’t. 

She starts off easy, telling Shelby that Sabrina or whatever her name is, is hopeless. But Shelby isn’t here for small talk, she asks her what happened to her, before correcting herself and telling her that she knows what happened. That the same thing had happened to her when she had given up Rachel.

She makes jokes with Shelby because she knows that if she wants any relationship with her daughter she’s going to have to play nice, despite how badly she doesn’t want to. 

She’s tired of everyone trying to tell her how much better off she is looking the way she looked before. She was miserable the way she was: blonde, skinny, and perfect. It was exhausting, trying so hard to be the perfect pretty girl everyone wanted to either be or be with. She might still be miserable, but at least that pressure is gone. 

Shelby doesn’t know anything about her, so does it really matter if she doesn’t think this is the real her or not? And _finding herself?_ Really? Does Shelby not see that ever since she gave up Beth all she has been trying to do is find herself? But nothing is working. 

She’s tired of the lectures, she has nothing left to say about any of them, so she asks Shelby, “can I see her? I know Puck got to.” She keeps her voice calm even though she’s rageful on the inside. She knows her look is a little much, but Shelby won’t even let her see a photo? Really?

But then Shelby caves, of course choosing a photo of Puck holding her just to rub it in. She’s perfect, blonde and brown eyed. She looks just like her and it makes her cry. She doesn’t care if it makes her look like she’s weak, or she actually cares about something. She just wants to see her daughter. 

\-----

After dinner she heads upstairs and starts on her homework. She waits for Sam’s call on her computer. The two of them had made a routine out of Facetiming each other after dinner until it’s time for both of them to sleep. She knows Sam is just doing it so he can keep an eye on her, but she doesn’t mind. She likes the company. 

He calls her after she’s finished labelling a diagram of the respiratory system for Biology, hair wet from a fresh shower. She assumes it’s because he has just returned from football practice. 

“You know, it’s kind of ironic seeing a Skank keep up with her homework.” He tells her chuckling. She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at him in response. She’s gotten used to him poking fun at her look. The first time they had decided Facetiming was probably better than calling, his eyes had nearly bugged out of his head after seeing her. 

She tries not to wear too much makeup when they’re on call, knowing he always liked her more naturally. She also retires the hat and wears her pyjamas, she feels more comfortable that way anyways. The netting and holes in her clothes make her itchy. 

“I saw a picture of Beth today.” She doesn’t know why she tells him, she doesn’t really want to talk about it, but she also wants to feel like if she did she had someone. 

He tries not to react too much. He knows if he shows any reaction on his face it might scare Quinn off and cause her to shut down. He knows how she works, how you need to tread carefully around her. 

“Apparently Puck has seen her. She looks just like me.” She doesn’t look at him while telling him this, just focuses on her homework. She’s scared if she looks up, she’ll start crying. 

She knows what he’s going to say, so when he sighs and says “well you know what Shelby wants you to do if you want to see her.” she isn’t surprised. She also wishes it wasn’t the answer. 

She changes the subject, asking him about how he did on his Algebra test today, laughing as he groans and throws his head starting off with how his day started. 

\-----

She decides that this whole _not caring about the world_ thing is not working for her, so she decides that she might as well get back the only thing she’s ever done right, her daughter. 

She dyes her hair back blonde and throws out all her black clothing. Her whole change back takes up most of the day so she jumps when her computer starts going off with an incoming Facetime call. 

She feels giddy when she clicks accept, watching as Sam appears on her screen. He does a double take when he sees her and his mouth drops open. “Quinn wow, you look great.” She frowns a little bit and he must notice because he quickly adds “not that you didn’t look better before, I just kind of like this version better.” 

She looks into the mirror on her desk and tells him, “yeah, I think I do too.” 

\-----

She’s a little nervous to rejoin Glee Club, she’s a little afraid that Mr. Schue won’t let her back in because of their last conversation. She tells Kurt she wants to come back and after about ten text messages of him telling her how happy he is to hear it, he tells her about the boot camp in the auditorium. 

She feels relief wash over her when Mr. Schue tells her that it would be fine if she joined in. She hugs Mercedes and Mike, excited to be back. Even though she’ll never admit it, she missed Glee Club. 

She stands beside Kurt, who grabs her hand and tells her that he’s proud of her. She doesn’t tell him that the only reason why she’s doing this is so she can get her daughter back, just smiles and squeezes his hand. 

\-----

She goes to Glee rehearsal the next day earlier than usual so she doesn’t draw much attention to herself, sitting between Kurt and Mercedes. Though her plan fails because everyone tells her how glad they are to see her and how much they missed her as soon as they see her. 

Mr. Schue walks in a few minutes later talking about their plan for the next week. “But before we get into that, we have a tradition where all new or rejoining members must sing a solo as a welcome, or in this case welcome back. So Quinn, the floor is yours.” 

He goes and sits next to Artie and she is frozen in shock. A solo? Quinn doesn’t sing solos, and she has nothing prepared. Kurt and Mercedes are pushing her upwards and before she realizes it she’s standing in front of everyone. 

She rubs her arm nervously and tells them “I wasn’t expecting to sing so if I sound a little rusty I apologize, it might also be all the cigarettes.” She gets a laugh out of them which makes her calm a little bit. She turns to tell Brad her song of choice and then closes her eyes and starts singing once she hears her cue. 

_I’m so glad you made time to see me_

_How’s life? Tell me, how’s your family?_

_I haven’t seen them in a while_

_You’ve been good, busier than ever_

_We small talk, work and the weather_

_Your guard is up and I know why_

She thinks about Sam and her nerves wash away. How the first time she ever heard this song reminded her so much of him, of them and how she had ruined everything. 

_Because the last time you saw me_

_Is still burned in the back of your mind_

_You gave me roses and I left them there to die_

She thinks about how good he was to her, how much he was willing to do for her and she had just cheated on him with Finn. 

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine_

_I’d go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I go back to December all the time_

She wishes he was here, maybe then he would know how sorry she was, how badly she wishes that she could take it all back. 

_These days, I haven’t been sleeping_

_Staying up, playing back myself leaving_

_When your birthday passed and I didn’t call_

She doesn’t tell him about the nights she’s spent awake overthinking. Wondering how things could have been different had she just not listened to Finn. She wonders if she ever told Sam any of this, whether it would make a difference. 

_Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times_

_I watched you laughing from the passenger’s side_

_And I realized I loved you in the fall_

She thinks about all the times they spent in his truck. Listening to his music that started to grow on her, both of them singing obnoxiously with the windows rolled down. She knew then even after all the time had passed, she still loved him. 

_And then the cold came, the dark days_

_When fear crept into my mind_

_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye_

She wishes she would have told him that night on the couch while they were watching Star Wars. Maybe if she would have just told him she was second guessing herself because she was beginning to fall in love with him, he would have understood. Maybe he would have forgiven her and she wouldn’t be the mess she is now.

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front you saying I’m sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom and ain’t nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine_

_I’d go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time_

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile_

_So good to me, so right_

_And how you held me in your arms that September night_

_The first time you ever saw me cry_

She thinks about how he would hold her while she cried. It happened more often than she allowed people to think. Randomly when she would think of Beth, he would always take her out for ice cream after. Or when she would cry after looking at herself in the mirror, he would stand behind her and wrap his arms around her waist, kissing behind her ear and telling her that she would always look perfect to him. 

_Maybe this is wishful thinking_

_Probably mindless dreaming_

_But if we loved again, I swear I’d love you right_

Would he ever forgive her? If she ever mustered up enough strength to tell him how sorry she is, how she would give everything just to have him back, to be able to love him properly that time around, would he give it to her? 

_I’d go back in time and change it, but I can’t_

_So if the chain is on your door, I understand_

She remembers the times where she didn’t think he would ever forgive her, how much more miserable she had been then. How painful it had been to love someone she knew hated her. No matter what she did, he would only remember that one thing she did to mess everything up. 

_But this is my swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December_

_It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine_

_I’d go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I’d go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time_

_All the time_

She opens her eyes once everyone stops clapping and smiles. She returns back to her seat embarrassed at the attention. Mercedes grabs her hand and tells her, “Puck’s a lucky guy.” 

She feels the blood drain from her face. Puck? They think the song was about Puck? The idea of that makes her sick, but she smiles at Mercedes anyway. 

She quickly gathers her things and leaves as soon as Mr. Schue dismisses them. She apparently doesn’t leave fast enough because Kurt still manages to link his arm in hers as they walk out of the school together. 

“I know a secret.” He tells her in a sing-song voice. 

She raises an eyebrow at him, “oh do you now?” 

He laughs and says “I know who your song was about.” 

That causes her to stop in her tracks, forcing him to stop as well. “What?” she asks him, caught off guard.

It’s not like she’s exactly subtle about her feelings about Sam with Kurt, and she had told him she had still loved him at Jean’s funeral last year. She just thought because he was best friends with Mercedes it would kind of be an unspoken secret between them. 

“I know you Quinn, it wasn’t about Puck it was about Sam.” She opens and closes her mouth a few times, probably looking like a fish. Before she can think of something to say Kurt tells her, “you should tell him. Life is too short to live with regrets. I know that more than anyone.” 

Before she can respond, he leaves her standing alone in the parking lot, feet glued to the ground. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Pot o’ Gold**

She gets Shelby concealer because she can’t think of anything else and she thinks it’s a nice gesture. If Quinn was a single mother she would appreciate someone buying makeup for her. She goes into the teachers lounge at lunch, telling Shelby that if she ever needs some ‘me time’ she is willing to babysit, any day of her choosing, except for Tuesday’s afterschool because she has God Squad meetings with Mercedes. 

She thought forming a religious club for just the two of them was a little odd at first, but she enjoys the quality time she gets to spend with Mercedes, especially because Quinn can’t see her now since she’s quit Glee Club and joined Shelby’s group, which is a topic both of them have agreed not to talk about. 

But she tells Shelby that if she wanted Quinn to get to know Beth, this was the perfect opportunity, and if she needed someone to tell her about her babysitting skills to just as Mr. Schue. 

She leaves the teachers lounge feeling the happiest she’s felt all week. 

\-----

She blames Mr. Schue for Mercedes leaving Glee Club, yes Mercedes is a little lazy, but Mr. Schue was a lot harder on her than she was on the rest of them. And she does have to agree with Rachel being his favourite. 

\-----

She calls Sam before she goes to Shelby’s. She tells him she’s really excited and he tells her that it’s nice seeing her this happy. He helps her pick an outfit because she’s too nervous to decide on one. 

She doesn’t know what it is that makes her decide to tell him her plan, but she does so anyway. As soon as she tells him though she knows that she’s made the wrong choice judging by his reaction. 

“Quinn,” he says while sighing. “Look, I know you miss Beth, but you’re eighteen, you’re not ready to be a mom. And if you think putting baby cannibal books or whatever you're planning to plant is going to get her back you’re wrong, if they find out it was you no one will let you see her again. And if Beth grows up and finds out that you did it, you know she’ll never forgive you. Don’t do it.” 

She hadn’t thought about what Beth would have thought, and curses at herself for being so stupid. She sighs and wipes the tears that have fallen from her eyes. “You’re right it was dumb. She’s just the only thing I’ve done right.” 

His face softens as he sees her tears and smiles. “Quinn, that’s not true. I think you would benefit from talking to someone about this.” She scoffs and checks the clock, looking for an out so she can avoid this conversation. Sam has been suggesting she go to therapy to work out her feelings and problems so she doesn’t spiral again and each time he has brought it up she has been able to find an excuse. 

She mumbles a quick _thank you, God_ as the clock on her computer tells her that it’s time to go. She tells him that she needs to leave and she will call him later to tell him how it went. 

He rolls his eyes and tells her, “eventually we are going to finish this conversation.” 

Before she can think too much about it, she blows him a kiss and hangs up.

\-----

She tells Shelby she has her number in her own phone on speed dial in case anything happens. Her heart breaks a little as soon as Beth starts crying. She tries giving Beth her phone to calm her down, but that doesn’t seem to be working. So she starts singing a little bit of _You Are My Sunshine_ which thankfully gets her to stop crying. 

She snaps a picture of them together, sending it to a couple of her friends. She gets _OMG Q! She looks just like you_ from Kurt, an _adorable!_ from Mercedes and Tina, _she’s not a lizard baby? Jk super cute_ from Santana. Brittany had just responded asking Quinn when she got a doll that looked so real, which she ignored. Sam had sent her back, _beautiful girls._ She turned to Beth to ask her “isn’t Sam just the sweetest?” She got a babble in response. 

She reads to Beth a little, and plays with her on the ground, sending everyone as many snapchats as she can. Before she knows it Shelby is back thanking Quinn.

Before Quinn leaves she hugs Shelby, telling her, “thank you for this.” 

\-----

The next night on Facetime she tells Sam how it went. How happy she was and how her and Shelby arranged for her to come back next week to babysit again. She also tells him how hard it was for her to say goodbye. 

“For a minute I thought about just taking her.” She bites her lip waiting for Sam’s reaction. As soon as he opens his mouth to respond, she starts rambling. “I know, it’s wrong. But everybody has their big plans, colleges, New York, and what do I have? Beth is perfect, and she’s _my_ perfect thing. Something even I can’t screw up. Do you know how hard it is to do something perfectly? So even if I never leave this town or accomplish anything, I’ll have her to call mine.” 

“Q,” Sam says softly. “This is why I think you should talk to someone, they can help you deal with all of this.” 

She sighs and nods her head. “Okay.” she tells him, thinking _maybe talking to someone about why I shouldn’t kidnap my daughter would be a good idea._

He doesn’t push it anymore she she changes the subject to what Mr. Schue has them doing for Glee Club that week. 

\-----

She finds Kurt in the hallway a few days later straightening up his Student Election posters. “Hey Kurt!” she says, slightly running up to him. 

He smiles when he sees her, “Quinn, hi! What can I do for you?” She links her arm into his as the two of them walk down the hallway towards Glee rehearsal. 

“Do you know anyone that I can like, talk to?” He furrows his brow at her confused and she drops her voice down to a whisper. “Like a therapist or something?” He smiles and squeezes her hand. 

“Yes of course! I can text you some referrals later tonight. I’m super proud of you Quinn, asking for help is never easy.” 

She shrugs her shoulders and tells him, “Sam kind of made me realize it would be a good idea.” 

He raises his eyebrows at her. “Sam huh? What’s going on there?” He asks her while bumping his hip into hers. 

She laughs while telling him, “nothing, nothing! We’re just really close friends.” 

He shakes his head while laughing, saying “sure thing Fabray.” as the two of them walk into the choir room. 

\-----

She goes to the lady Kurt referred her to, using the money her dad sends her once a month to pay for it. She tells both Sam and Kurt how it went, and feels giddy at how happy and excited they are for her.

But she’s not doing it for them, or Shelby, or even beth. She’s doing it for her, and it feels good to finally do something good and healthy for herself for once. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quinn deserved more solos and I will never not be mad about that. The song I used was Back To December by Taylor Swift because Quinn singing Taylor Swift would have been pure magic and no one can change my mind about that. But ahhh hello season 3! As always thank you for reading and comment what you think!


	7. Mash Off, I Kissed A Girl, Hold Onto Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know in Mash Off Quinn asks Shelby if she can join the Trouble Tones, but I’m not going to include that in this story. A lot of this storyline just doesn’t make any sense to me, Quinn tries so hard to get her daughter back but when Shelby leaves with Beth, Beth and Quinn’s feelings about her are never mentioned again? In my story Quinn stays in the New Directions and is not so set on getting Beth back, instead exploring more of Quinn’s feelings about having Beth back in her life. This also means Shelby doesn’t stop allowing Quinn to babysit Beth. 
> 
> Also I have no idea where these Tina and Quinn moments came from, but there’s also another underrated friendship that I absolutely adore. Ryan Murphy had the perfect opportunity to include a Rachel, Quinn, and Tina trio and he completely ignored it so I’m adding it for him. I might add some more moments of them or just Tina and Quinn throughout the story depending how I feel.

**Mash Off**

She gets a text from Tina that Glee rehearsal will be in the auditorium afterschool. She’s one of the last ones there and is extremely confused when she sees the Trouble Tones on the stage as well. 

She’s excited at the idea of a mash off. Of course Quinn loves Santana and Mercedes, Brittnay too, they’re all her girls. But if she’s being honest? Part of her is a little excited that they’re gone. Maybe now she will finally have the opportunity to sing more in Glee club. She knows that Rachel will call dibs on any solos, but maybe her or Tina will get a portion of a group number to themselves rather than just singing backup and swaying in the background. 

She’s okay with giving Rachel all the solos because she’s too terrified to sing in front of an audience by herself, but every once and a while she would love to feel appreciated and included, and she knows that Tina feels the same way. Two days ago she had complained to Quinn that Blaine has had more solos in his first week of joining than Tina has had her entire time in being in Glee club, and she’s one of the original five members. So is Quinn a little excited to finally get a chance to shine? You bet she is. 

\-----

Finn sends them all a text in their new Glee Club group chat (the one that doesn’t have Santana, Brittany, or Mercedes in it) about the dodgeball match afterschool. Tina and Quinn both skip their last periods to get ready together. They laugh about the idea of Rachel playing dodgeball as they enter the girls change room together. 

Quinn groans as strands of her hair keep falling out of the ponytail she is trying to put her hair in. Tina laughs from beside her and tells her to sit on the bench behind them, telling her, “here, let me.” 

She gets two red hair ties from her makeup bag, parting Quinn’s hair in half for pigtails. Quinn giggles and tells Tina, “thanks. It’s so difficult to put my hair up now that I’ve cut it all off.” 

Tina just smiles. They settle in a nice silence while Tina does the finishing touches on Quinn’s hair. She places her hand on her shoulders while she looks at the blonde in the mirror. “It’s good to have you back Quinn, I missed you.” Quinn smiles back, unsure of what to say because she didn’t realize that many people would even care that she was gone. 

By the time they’ve finished getting ready the girls from the Trouble Tones are walking in. To avoid conflict they leave to help Finn set up everything. 

She has a lot of fun, using dodgeball as a good way to release her pent up anger. She giggles when she hits a Cheerio who hit on Sam last year while they were dating square in the face. She’s able to get a few girls out and protect Artie before she’s hit herself and out of the game. 

She laughs along with Tina and Blaine as Rachel just stands behind Finn, shrieking everytime a ball flies in her direction. She thinks it’s cute how he deflects them all so none of them hit her, but as soon as it’s the two of them she gets too scared and forfeits leaving Finn on his own. 

Unfortunately they lose when Santana gets Finn, but Santana is not satisfied with the victory. She and some of the Trouble Tones hit Rory causing his nose to bleed. Quinn runs after Kurt with Tina to help out Rory. They find a first aid kit in the gyms office. While Kurt and Tina are helping clean his nose she contemplates whether or not she should talk about her treatment towards certain New Directions members. Something is up with Santana, she was never this cruel. So Quinn decides now that she’s dealt with her own problems she should at least attempt to figure it out. 

\-----

The day of the New Directions mash off performance, Rachel, Tina and Quinn all get ready in one of the dressing rooms behind the auditorium. Tina does their hair and Quinn volunteers to do light makeup for all of them because Rachel had picked their outfits. 

She’s surprised at how well they’re all getting along, she hasn’t wanted to strangle Rachel even once. She’s found a new appreciation for Rachel, especially after she nominated Quinn and Tina take the female solos for their mash off and sit this one out so it’s more unexpected. 

They snap a few mirror selfies with the extra time they have left. She sends a few to Sam who replies back saying how sad he is that he missed a Hall and Oates number. She rolls her eyes. 

The three of them do their own mini show circle before exiting the room, grabbing each other’s hands. Rachel leads of course, telling them she’s super excited and knows the two of them are going to kill it. She expects that to be it, but Rachel continues catching Quinn by surprise. 

“I know sometimes I come off as this solo stealing control freak,” Tina snorts which makes Quinn laugh and Rachel roll her eyes. “But I really care about all of you guys, and losing half of our girls has made me realize I need to stop being so selfish, I really want all of us to finish our senior year not only as a united Glee Club, but as a family.”

Quinn smiles and squeezes her hand. “Thanks Rach.” 

Tina interrupts both of them by saying “If we continue this conversation I will shed tears and that is not a good look right before our performance. Let’s go do this!” They all laugh as they exit the room and head towards the stage. 

\-----

She’s taken a big role in helping Kurt out with his election since Rachel had to step down for obvious reasons. The day where the candidates present their presidential speeches she sits with Tina and Mike and gives Kurt two big thumbs up before his speech. 

She’s almost one hundred percent sure that Brittnay is using her biology essay on tornadoes that she and Santana had edited for her two years ago. She’s also one hundred percent sure that the school won’t even allow Brittnay to go topless on Tuesday’s, she rolls her eyes but claps for Brittnay anyways. 

Kurt had only talked to her about his obesity stance, about having a salad bar in the cafeteria and only making tots available to students one day a week, despite Mercedes’ protests. Bullying? Was not something they discussed. 

But she loves it so much more. She’ll admit it, Quinn has done her fair share of tormenting at this school, but she has also fallen victim to it too. When she feels weak, she brings down others, sometimes when she doesn’t even mean too. If Kurt wins this election at least she’ll have something to stop her from doing so. 

She was not expecting Rachel to sacrifice herself for Kurt. She knows Rachel, how far she is willing to go to make sure she gets what she wants. It’s a terrible quality to have, willing to sell those closest to you down the river to make sure you come out on top. Quinn would know, she has it too. So she’s surprised when Rachel drops out and tells everyone to vote for Kurt. Surprised definitely, but also proud. She sees now what Rachel was telling her in the beginning of the year, how they’re all a family. 

\-----

Shelby texts her asking her to babysit Beth while she’s on Facetime with Sam helping him with a project that’s due next week. He laughs at how joyous she is and tells her to go, that they can just finish later and she throws on her jacket excitedly, picking up a gift she put together for Beth a few days ago. 

Shelby looks guilty when she gets there. She also looks a little frazzled, telling Quinn that she’s late to a staff meeting she completely forgot about and she appreciates so much that Quinn was able to babysit for her. 

She stops in front of Quinn before she heads out the door, hugging her telling her “thank you.” She also swears she hears Shelby whisper  _ I’m sorry  _ into her shoulder before releasing her, but she decides she must be mistaken. 

\-----

She decides today is probably a good day to talk to Santana, she doesn’t want there to be any fighting when the Trouble Tones before afterschool in the auditorium. 

She stops by Sue’s office asking her if she knows where she can find Santana. Sue looks a little distraught, telling her to check the Cheerios washroom and to tell Santana that she can take all the time that she needs. 

That worries her, so she jogs to the Cheerios washroom and finds Santana sobbing on the floor. 

“Santana?!” She quickly drops her bag on the floor and wraps her arms around her. “Santana what’s going on?” 

Santana just shakes her head and cries out “I can’t believe this is happening!” 

Quinn tries her best to try and figure out what exactly Santana is talking about, but comes up short. Santana muttering  _ I am going to kill Finn Hudson  _ over and over again between sobs doesn’t help either. 

While Quinn tries to figure out what exactly could be wrong, Santana starts hyperventilating, “I haven’t even told my parents yet. And my grandmother, Quinn how am I going to tell my grandmother? Everyone at school is going to start treating me differently and I-” and  _ oh,  _ Quinn finally understands. Yes she’s always had the feeling Santana wasn’t straight. She’s best friends with Santana and Brittnay, she knows better than anyone what they do when she’s not there. 

So she closes her eyes and blurts out, “I’m still in love with Sam!” to distract her, thinking it might calm her down. 

Santana looks at her confused, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “What?” she asks, voice raw from all the crying. 

“I never stopped. I still love Sam.” Quinn whispers, more embarrassed now that she’s realized what she’s said.  _ Well,  _ she thinks,  _ at least it prevented her from having a panic attack.  _

Santana snorts and says “really Q? Trouty mouth?” which causes Quinn to roll her eyes. Even with this happening to her, Santana is still able to be Santana. 

“Enough about me, want to tell me what the hell is going on?” Santana sighs and Quinn squeezes her hand.

“I like girls.” She hears Santana hold her breath as if she’s waiting for Quinn to tell her that she doesn’t accept her or something similar to that and it makes Quinn’s heart break a little. 

“Santana, I love you regardless of who you decide to love. You being a lesbian is never going to change that. You can’t break up the Unholy Trinity, remember?” 

Santana smiles at her through her tears and chokes out, “thanks Q.”

Quinn bites her lip before asking her “who else knows?” 

Santana sighs and closes her eyes, leaning her head against Quinn’s shoulder. “I know everyone in Glee Club already has their suspicions, and I told Brittnay I loved her last year but she rejected me because she was dating Artie. We’re dating now though. Oh, Karofsky knows too.” 

_ Karofsky?  _ She thinks confused, but decides now is probably not the best time to ask Santana about it. She’s happy for Santana, that she’s finally found someone she can genuinely be happy with. And Quinn doesn’t have to worry about her trying to take her boyfriends anymore, but that’s not the point. 

“I know I’m mean to Finn and he doesn’t deserve it, but I never thought he would out me like this.” Quinn’s body fills with rage. Finn  _ outed  _ Santana? Quinn herself hated Santana last year, but she would have never done that to her. Everyone knows that outing someone crosses some sort of line. She thought Finn out of everyone would know better, especially with all the stuff that happened to Kurt last year. 

Santana pulls Quinn out of her thoughts when she says softly, “I don’t know what I’m going to do Quinn.” 

Quinn sighs, she doesn’t know how to make this situation better either, she can’t believe Finn. But she places her hand overtop of Santana’s and tells her, “you’re going to get through this. I know you will because I’m going to be here for you the entire time.” 

\-----

She helps Santana get ready for her performance and walks her to the auditorium. She hears Brittnay ask Santana what’s wrong, but Santana just shakes her off. Quinn glares at Finn as she goes and takes a seat, who of course doesn’t even notice because he’s too busy making eyes at Rachel. 

Santana looks off the entire performance. Quinn knows what’s on her mind, but she’s afraid what Santana’s going to actually do about it. Her fears are confirmed when Santana jumps off the stage and starts yelling at Finn. 

She watches in shock as Santana slaps Finn. Everyone is quiet, Finn sits there and Santana stands above him breathing hard. As everyone seems to be registering what just happened, Santana runs out of the auditorium. As soon as Quinn processes everything, she gets up and quickly runs after her. 

“Santana!” she calls after her, hoping the girl will take pity on the fact that Quinn hasn’t actually done any proper form of exercise in a while other than booty camp and is struggling to catch up to her. But of course, Santana just runs harder. 

She can hear Brittnay ask “Quinn?” from down the hallway so Quinn stops and tells her, “it’s okay Britt, I got her.” 

Quinn finds her in the washroom again, hugging her and whispering in her hair “come on, let’s go to my house.” 

Santana is not normally a quiet person, so Quinn is understandably worried as she watches from the driver's seat as Santana stares out the window the entire ride to her place. 

Santana tells Quinn that she doesn’t want to talk about it, so they watch a bunch of awful romcoms. They even Facetime Sam for a bit, which excites Santana because she finally gets to tell him all the mouth jokes that she has come up with while he was gone. She texts Brittnay while Santana’s not looking, telling her that Santana will probably tell her when she’s ready. 

Santana ends up falling asleep with her head in Quinn’s lap during their Twilight marathon. She runs her hand through the brunette’s hair, wishing for easier times for the both of them. It’s ironic how the strongest always seem to break the worst. 

____________________________________________________________________

**I Kissed A Girl**

Santana texts her as she pulls into school the next day that she was pulled into Figgins office with Finn. Quinn rolls her eyes, there’s no way they will actually punish Santana. Her and Santana had gotten into an actual fight last year and neither of them had even ended up with a detention. 

She’s shocked when Santana texts her back fifteen minutes later saying Finn wants her to come back to Glee Club for a week or else she’s suspended for two. Quinn can’t believe him, he is in no position to be giving out ultimatums. But Santana seems like she’s not too bothered, so Quinn decides that she won’t be either. 

\-----

Lady Music Week? Really? That’s the best Finn can think of? She refrains from rolling her eyes because she knows that Finn is only doing this because he feels responsible for everything, which he should. This wouldn’t have happened if he had just been able to keep his mouth shut. 

Finn is so full of crap. Yes everyone in the room accepts Santana and Brittnay, they’re all family. But they celebrate it? The only reason why they ‘celebrate it’ is because Finn took away the opportunity for Santana to come out herself. 

\-----

She’s confused by Puck’s solo. Is he singing a song to her? But he told her he didn’t care about her, he only cared about Beth. But then it clicks, he isn’t looking at her, he’s looking at Shelby. Why is he singing a song to Shelby? 

And then she remembers what she thought she heard the last time she went to babysit Beth, Shelby whispering to her that she’s sorry. But Shelby wouldn’t do that, she knows Shelby wouldn’t do that because she’s an adult and Puck is barely eighteen. The thought of the two of them together makes her sick to her stomach. 

So she sends Kurt to investigate because she has sworn off being alone with Puck again for the rest of her life, but he just tells her Puck said the song was about babysitting.  _ Babysitting? As if  _ she thinks to herself.

\-----

She loves Brittnay to death, they have been best friends for as long as she can remember, but Brittnay as Senior Class President? She’ll burn the entire school down. So she votes for Kurt because she likes what he stands for. Plus she helped him with his campaign, what friend would she be if she didn’t vote for him after doing that? 

She gives Kurt a wink as soon as she leaves the voting booth and he smiles back, mouthing  _ thank you  _ as he clasps his hands together underneath his chin. 

\-----

Her and Brittnay try to spend as much time with Santana the day after Reggie’s commercial was aired so if anything has something to say to Santana, at least one of them will be there. She suggests that the three of them leave campus for lunch because they haven’t done that since last year. If Santana notices something is up, she doesn’t say anything to them. 

But unfortunately they can’t be with her at all times. She goes to the bathroom in between periods with Santana, but Santana tells her she needs to grab something from her locker before Glee Club rehearsal, since the girls are doing a group number today anyways. She tells Santana she’ll go with her after she’s finished, but Santana insists she’ll be fine alone. 

“Quinn, I’ll be alone for like two minutes tops. Nothing is going to happen, I'm a big girl.” Quinn bites her lip, but reluctantly agrees. As she leaves the washroom her fears are confirmed when she sees some stupid jock she’s never seen before talking to Santana at her locker. Thankfully the girls get there in time. 

Is this guy serious? Being gay is not a  _ choice.  _ She’s disgusted by the morons at this school. She wraps her arm around Santana’s shoulders as they all walk to Glee rehearsal together and asks her “are you okay?” 

She nods and smiles, whispering to her, “thank you Q, for everything.” 

\-----

Kurt calls her later that night while she’s on Facetime with Sam. She assumes it’s about his Student Election results so she declines the call and tells him just to text her the results. 

He calls her again and she frowns, it must be some sort of emergency. So she tells Sam she just has to take a quick call and answers the phone while still on Facetime. “Hey Kurt what’s-” 

“I think you were right Quinn.” He sounds off, like there’s something bothering him. Something is wrong and he doesn’t know how to tell her. Of course she’s right, but what about is the question. 

“Right about what?” Sam looks up at her confused and she shrugs her shoulders, she’s just as puzzled as he is. 

“Finn told me something tonight that just didn’t really sit right with me. Puck apparently left in the middle of one of his classes earlier today so Finn texted him to ask him what happened. Puck apparently told him it was a family emergency, Shelby had called him during class that Beth had slipped and hit her lip on the floor and needed stitches. Did she call you and tell you?” 

Her mind is spinning. Something happened to Beth,  _ her daughter,  _ and no one told her about it? She shakes her head a few times, but then realizes that Kurt can’t even see her. “No, no one told me.” Her voice breaks. She hadn’t realized she had started crying until the tears hit her keyboard in front of her. 

“Oh Quinn. I’m sorry honey, but I think you might have been right.” She doesn’t know what to think. There’s a difference between thinking something is true and actually knowing, and that difference? Hurts like a bitch. Kurt tells her he needs to go, but to call her if she needs something. 

She doesn’t know what to do, so she puts her head in her hands and cries as Sam tells her everything is going to be okay from the other side of her computer. 

\-----

She’s at the grocery store buying food for the weekend since her mom will be on a cruise when Santana sends her a text. She looks down at her phone,  **Gma was a no go.** Her heart aches for her, Quinn knows how close Santana was with her grandma. 

She sends her back,  **want to come over? Mom gone for the wknd. Bring Brittnay for a sleepover.**

Santana tells her it’s okay, she’s spending time with Brittnay now and kind of just wants to be alone, but they might take her up on her offer later depending on how she feels. Quinn smiles and tells her she understands before heading down the chip aisle. 

\-----

She glares at Shelby during Santana’s solo, hoping she will get the hint that she knows about her relationship with Puck. 

She’s so furious with Shelby that she didn’t even notice wasn’t in Glee Club until she walks in after Santana’s solo. Rachel stuffed the ballot box? That’s why Kurt didn’t win. She feels awful, she’s been so focused on herself Kurt didn’t even feel like telling her the real reason why he lost to Brittnay. 

And Figgins banning Rachel from Sectionals? Yes Rachel turns insane around competition time, but everyone knows she is a big reason why they win. Sure during their mash off competition the stakes weren’t as high so Tina and Quinn could take the solos, but no Rachel when they have already lost Santana and Mercedes? They might as well forfeit at this point. She looks around the room and it seems that everyone seems to have the same reaction. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Hold Onto Sixteen**

She’s surprised when she sees Rachel in the hallway the next morning. Isn’t she suspended? So she walks up to her and asks her about it. 

She tells Rachel they don’t have to worry about losing to the Trouble Tones at Sections because she’s going to have Ms. Corcoran fired. She knows it’s a low blow, but she’s having a relationship with a student. It’s completely inappropriate and makes Shelby such a hypocrite. All that crap she gave Quinn for putting your needs second to your childs? Yeah Shelby sure did a great job with that. As the mother of Beth, Quinn has every right to be concerned. 

She can’t believe Rachel thinks she’s lying. Does Finn not tell her anything? And Quinn’s going to ruin her reputation? Shelby did that, she ruined it the second she started sleeping with Puck. She tells her it’s not a lie, she heard it from a trusted source. 

But Rachel still defends Shelby and Quinn can’t believe her ears. This is the woman who broke her agreement to wait until Rachel was eighteen to contact her, and used one of her students to get close to her. 

Quinn doesn’t care what Rachel has to say, she’s doing it and she’ll be waiting to take Beth as soon they realize Shelby is an unfit mother. Looks like she didn’t even need the hot sauce or the books, Shelby screwed everything up on her own. 

She doesn’t understand why Rachel is being so cruel to her. Did she not hear Quinn correctly, Shelby is  _ sleeping  _ with Puck, and if Quinn decides to tell Figgins, she’s the one who hit rock bottom? How is she always the bitch in every situation. 

\-----

Apple Cider? Is Mr. Schue serious? They don’t even have enough members for Sectionals, what the hell could they possibly be celebrating?  _ Maybe we’re not celebrating  _ Quinn thinks to herself smirking,  _ maybe this is a funeral for the New Directions.  _ She agrees with Kurt, there’s no way they can recover from this. 

But then he comes in and she feels like she’s dreaming.  _ Sam?  _ But she spoke with him two days ago, he was in Kentucky. If he was coming back he would have told her about this. Her heart is racing and she doesn’t know how to act. She pinches herself to make sure this is actually happening, he’s really here, before running up and hugging him. 

Of course he sings a country song, and of course she enjoys every second of it. She dances around with Tina because Kurt is clearly not enjoying any of it. She missed his charm and his witty humour. Who is she kidding? She missed everything about him. 

She runs after him when she finds him in the hallway. “Hey Sam wait up!” He stops and waits for her, and she links her arm into his. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming back?” She’s super happy to have him back, seeing him in person is so much better than seeing him through a screen everyday. 

He laughs and tells her, “I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

_ Here we go _ she thinks to herself. She spent the rest of lunch after Glee rehearsal thinking of how she was going to tell Sam how she feels. She’s scared that if she just ambushes him and tells him,  _ I never stopped loving you, please be with me again.  _ It will scare him off and he will reject her, ruining their friendship. So she decided using Beth was the perfect way to do it. 

She starts off easy, telling him that Mercedes has a new boyfriend who has a full ride scholarship to Ohio state because she does know if he is over her or not. He answers back with, “nice to see you too Quinn.” 

He must have taken it the wrong way so she tells him, “no, no, it’s a good thing. See I’m free, you’re free. She tells him how skinny she’s gotten as a plus.” 

He’s clearly not interested in any of it, which takes her by surprise because he asks her, “what do you want Quinn?” 

She tells him how terrible she feels about last year, how she didn’t appreciate how good he was to her. Which is the truth, he has no idea how many nights she spent awake thinking how different things would have been had she not cheated on him with Finn. The two of them are perfect together, Ken and Barbie. 

But it seems that he doesn’t agree, so she panics and brings up Beth, telling him how she’s going to get her back. She told him about Puck and Shelby that night Kurt called him, he just doesn’t know that she’s planning to tell Figgins. She tells him they’d be perfect to raise her together, he’s so good with kids, but it just makes him laugh. 

“Quinn, you’ve got what I called ‘rich white girl problems.’” And ouch, that stings a bit because she always felt like her problems were valid, but apparently not everyone thinks the same. “It’s a tough world out there, I know, I’ve been through it. You only get one senior year. Enjoy it.” Doesn’t he see that she’s trying? She would be enjoying it so much more if the adoptive mother of her child was not sleeping with an eighteen-year-old, but she is still trying. Her therapy has been helping her so much, helping her deal with her problems, but isn’t everyone entitled to at least one relapse? So why can’t she have hers? 

He starts talking about this song she’s never heard of and she prays that he doesn’t start singing in the middle of the hallway. He tells her about some stupid lyric that’s his favourite, and her heart sinks to her stomach because doesn’t he realize the whole point of her doing this is because she wants to be with him? Beth is just an added bonus, but he doesn’t because he leaves her standing there with her heart crushed between his hands. 

\-----

She finds out from Kurt, who found out from Rachel. He tells her about how Rachel and Finn had found him at a strip club and apparently wants to incorporate some of the dance moves he learned there into their Sectionals performance, causing him and Blaine to go at it a little bit. Kurt can clearly see the worry on her face because he tells her that Sam had quit once he had moved in with him and Finn. 

But she knows Sam better than that, she knows that if the cash is good, he won’t quit. Not when it means helping out his family. So she asks Kurt to drop her off at the strip club on a Wednesday night when Sam had told her he had to run errands. She’s thankful when Kurt doesn’t ask many questions. She gets his old ‘Dairy Queen’ schedule from his mom so she doesn’t have to wait for him that long, and leans against his truck when it hits eleven o’clock. 

He comes out the back door at quarter past eleven with a duffle bag slung across his shoulder. He freezes when he sees her, but then sighs and points his keys at his truck, unlocking it. 

“You know,” she tells him. “I always thought you were more of a candy type of guy. I remember you telling me chocolate was too sweet for you.” She taps her finger on her chin playfully and he rolls his eyes as he gets closer. 

“What are you doing here Quinn?” He sounds exhausted and she feels kind of bad, but then she remembers the reason why she came.

“You know I could ask you the same thing Samuel, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” He rolls his eyes and stops in front of her. Up close she can see the eyebags underneath his eyes, and the glitter that Kurt would not shut up about. 

“Can we not do this tonight? I’m tired. You can lecture me all you want tomorrow, but I don’t want to do this right now. If you don’t want to use a GPS going home you can just follow my truck going home.” 

She knows he expects her to give up now, she always did have a soft spot for tired Sam, but she’s not giving up easy this time. He took care of her while she was struggling, now it’s her turn.

She bites her bottom lip and tells him, “I can’t,” while shrugging her shoulders. “Kurt dropped me off and then left, I don’t have my car.” 

He sighs, frustrated, and runs his hand through his hair. Her hand twitches by her side, wanting to reach up and fix the pieces that are sticking up. He nods towards his truck “Alright fine, get in.” 

They drive in silence for a while, the only noise being the soft hum of his car's radio. The quiet makes her uneasy, so she says something before she gets too jumpy. “It can’t be ideal driving three hours to work every night.” 

He chuckles and she feels relief at the fact that he isn’t still annoyed. “Good thing I don’t work every night.” 

She plays with the end of her dress because she doesn’t know what else to do with her hands. “I think you should quit.” She sees his head snap to look at her through the corner of her eye so she looks up at him and continues talking so she can explain herself. “I care about you Sam, you’re one of my best friends,” she says best friend quickly because it burns the inside of her throat. “There’s a reason you didn’t tell your parents, you know you shouldn’t be doing this.” 

“I need the money Quinn.” It’s a chickenshit answer, he knows it is, but he’s happy knowing that he can get his mother flowers whenever he feels like it, or if Stacy wants a new barbie because all the other girls in her class got it, he can buy it for her. 

“So find a different job Sam. There are tons of places around Lima that have decent pay, I’m sure Burt would even hire you to work in his shop.” He sighs and she bites her bottom lip, afraid she’s said too much. “Tell me you really want to do this.” 

“What?” She knows she has no place to judge, she’s never been in his position. She has grown up privileged, she knows that. She knows how lucky she is that she has all that she does. But just because Sam is struggling doesn’t mean he needs to do this to himself, stripping is harmful, God knows what those women are capable of if they have a few drinks in them and find him alone. 

“Tell me you really want to do this and I’ll stop pushing. I won’t bring it up again and I’ll learn to not have a problem with you working there, but look me in the eyes and tell me you love it.” He grumbles under his breath and she takes that as her answer. “You have so much to offer the world Sam, don’t sell yourself short.” 

“You know Quinn, I could tell you the same thing.” She rolls her eyes because of course he’s going to make this about her, Sam has always hated talking about his problems. “Beth is not going to be the only child you have, you’re so young Q, I know this seems like the right answer right now, but one day you will thank yourself for giving her up to Shelby, Beth will too.” 

She scoffs, “tell me you’ll quit and I’ll think about it.” 

He laughs and shakes his head, but agrees. “It’s a deal.” 

\-----

Of course he would want Mercedes back, why wouldn’t he? Mercedes is perfect and she’s kind and she didn’t cheat on him. And she doesn’t have all this crap going on in her life. 

She sees him grab her hand in the hallway. She hides behind Santana’s locker who just looks at her weird until she sees what exactly she’s hiding from and then rolls her eyes. “Really Q? This is ridiculous, why are you even hiding?” 

Quinn just shushes her and tries her best to eavesdrop on their conversation. She hears him shout down the hall that he’s going to fight to get Mercedes back regardless of who her boyfriend is. She feels her lunch start to rise up her throat. 

Santana must see the blood drain from her face because she looks at Quinn sympathetically, “Q, I’m sorry.” It just makes her more nauseous. 

Quinn just shakes and puts her hand up. “Don’t. It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Santana just sighs and starts to drag her to their next class, “whatever you say.” 

\-----

Her and Tina have made it a tradition now where they get each other ready. Whether it be for a competition, performance, or even a football game, Tina does hair and Quinn does makeup. They’ve found it calms them down and also makes for a perfect gossiping session. 

Kurt joins Quinn while she’s putting the last finishing touches on her makeup because Tina told her she has to go deal with Mike, whatever that means. 

“So, how’s the whole Shelby Puck situation?” He asks her, playing with one of her brushes. 

“I’m going to tell Figgins right before our performance.” She tells him while looking at herself in the mirror to see if she needs to fix anything, she doesn’t bother looking to see what his reaction is, she’s gotten used to the disapproval. 

Before Kurt can answer her, Shelby and the Trouble Tones walk in. She makes a comment about Puck so Shelby knows that Quinn knows about their relationship, she’s done playing nice, all it ever does is get her screwed over. 

\-----

He hears someone run after her when she leaves the auditorium, so she walks faster hoping they won’t catch her in time. “I know you Q, and I know you don’t really want to do this.” 

Of course it’s Sam, and of course Kurt told him about her plan. Still she asks, “what are you doing here? How do you even know what I’m about to do? You know what? It doesn’t even matter, I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want.” 

Sam starts walking towards her and the little voice inside her head is screaming at her to run, don’t listen to him and just run to Figgins, but she’s frozen in place. “That may be true, but that little girl whose life you're about to go ruin? She’s still a child Quinn. Shelby might deserve this, but Beth doesn’t.” She looks away from him as soon as he stops in front of her, she knows if she looks in her eyes he’ll end up convincing her not to do it. “Look Quinn, if you’re going to go through with this, you at least owe it to Shelby to tell her first. It’s the adult thing to do.” 

“Fine.” She mumbles and takes his hand as he leads her back to the auditorium. “Wait, I want to go talk to her first.” He nods as if he understands and tells her he’ll be waiting for her outside the classroom. 

She walks in with her arms crossed, annoyed that Shelby would even be thinking about small talk, so Quinn gets right to the point. “I know about you and Puck. I’m going to tell Figgins and get you fired.” 

Hearing Shelby talk about how she’s planning to end it just makes her angrier. Is that supposed to make it all better? Is that supposed to show that she’s a responsible adult capable of taking care of her daughter? 

“You shouldn’t have come here with her. I would have been fine. What you did was wrong, what you’re doing with Puck is wrong.” 

She wasn’t expecting Shelby to be so raw and honest. She was expecting her to deny it, or tell Quinn that if she tells Figgins she’ll never allow her to babysit Beth again. What she wasn’t expecting? Was for Shelby to apologize. 

She walks out shortly after Shelby and shakes her head indicating to Sam that she doesn’t want to talk about it, trying to walk past him towards the auditorium. He grabs her arm and pulls her back, wrapping his arms around her. He whispers, “I’m proud of you.” into her hair and kisses the top of her head. It doesn’t make her feel any better. 

\-----

She watches the way that Sam looks at Mercedes while she’s performing and it makes her feel even worse. Does Sam not realize he’s doing to Shane exactly what Finn had done to him last year? But she still smiles at him when he looks over at her because she’s his best friend, she’s supportive of all of his decisions, even the ones that break her heart. 

All of her worries and problems wash away as soon as she steps onto the stage. That’s one of the reasons why Quinn loves being a part of Glee Club, for three short minutes she’s able to forget about everything that’s wrong with her life and just enjoy herself. 

She cheers during Sam’s dance solo even though she’s not supposed to, she guess it doesn’t matter since Tina is laughing hysterically beside her. 

\-----

She runs into the choir room with Tina after their performance, high off of adrenaline. She runs and hugs Rory to congratulate him on his first competition. 

She stands next to Kurt on stage and grabs his hand while they’re announcing winners. As soon as she hears the Trouble Tones came in second she screams and hugs Kurt, turning around to hug Tina next. 

She looks over at Santana and Mercedes who look devastated and decides maybe that whole being nice thing doesn’t always screw her over, maybe she should give it another shot.

\-----

She waits for Rachel in Figgins’ office the next day because her suspension has finished. She tells Rachel that the reason why she’s there is because she wanted to talk to her, to tell her that she’s not going to tell on Shelby. 

Rachel asks her, “we’re kind of friends, huh?” And first the first time Quinn actually believes it. 

She asks Rachel what she thinks about Yale because she’s been debating on applying even though their deadlines are next week. She tells Rachel that she knows that she’s not the singer her and Kurt are, but Yale has an amazing drama program and she really likes to perform. 

She’s happy to see how much they have grown and matured over the years. If you had told Quinn three years ago that she would end up being close friends with Rachel Berry she would have laughed in your face. 

She tells Rachel there is one thing that she can do for her. “Remember right before our mash off number when you said you wanted all of us to graduate as a family?” Rachel nods and Quinn continues. “How about letting the Trouble Tones do a number for each competition if I can convince them to come back?” 

Rachel smiles, “it’s a great idea, I’ll talk to Mr. Schue.”

\-----

She finds the three of them in the girls bathroom and tells them they all need to have a talk. She expected them to not want to listen to her, she knows them all well by now. So she doesn’t say anything about rejoining right away, she just asks “do you know what growing up is about?” 

None of them answer her so she tells them, “losing things. In six months we’ll all be gone, scattered.” Mercedes tells her that they’ll all keep in touch but everyone knows for some of them that won’t be true. 

“Yeah, but it won’t be the same. When we’ll see each other it’ll be a special occasion. It’ll be different. I don’t want to grow up yet, I’m not ready to lose you girls.” She was also expecting them to not want to come back if they knew they were just going to sing backup again. So she tells them, “what if Mr. Schue agreed to let the Trouble Tones sing at least one number per competition?” 

She tells Santana that Rachel has already agreed as well when Santana tells her Rachel would never let that happen. She tells them, “look, I know I went a little crazy. But I’m here now. I’m seventeen I have the rest of my life in front of me. I love Glee Club. I love you girls. And when we're twenty-seven, or eighty-seven, I want us to be able to look back on these next couple of months and talk about how it was the best times of our lives. We can’t do that if we are not all together.” She doesn’t give them time to answer her, she wants her speech to sink in so she tells them about the number they’re doing in the auditorium to celebrate their Sectionals win. She tells them they could use a few more girl voices and then leaves. 

She might have to deal with more of Sam and Mercedes now but that is a risk she is willing to take. 

\-----

She’s the last one there, so she quickly takes a seat next to Sam to soak in the last few moments she has with him where she has his undivided attention. The two of them dance together and she doesn’t even notice the girls have come in until Mercedes starts singing. 

She runs over and grabs Mercedes, taking her back to the stage. She slowly migrates her way back to Sam and wraps her arm around his shoulder as he wraps one around her waist. She pulls Santana over to dance with them. She enjoyed getting her solos and a chance to finally have the spotlight on her, but she can’t deny she missed this so much more. 

  
  



	8. Extraordinary Merry Christmas, Yes/No, Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I know Quinn doesn’t perform The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face with the glee girls in Yes/No, but I feel like she should have and would have fit in perfectly, so that’s why I added her in this time! Anywaysss, enjoy chapter eight!

**Extraordinary Merry Christmas**

She loves the holidays, and even though this is going to be the first one she is spending single, she's still super excited. They decide to give Mercedes the solo as they decorate the choir room. Quinn is on present wrapping duty with Rachel and Tina. She dances with Rory when all over the couples are dancing together, seeing Mercedes and Sam together can't even bring her mood down.

But then she sees the mistletoe and she gets a little nostalgic, remembering how Sam had surprised her with mistletoe in the hallway last year and kissed her against the lockers. She smiles to cover up her pain.

Sam tells her in the hallway after Glee Club about his idea to sort of take Rory under his wing because he knows how it feels to miss your family because they're not here. She tells him she thinks it's a great idea and is sure Rory would appreciate it.

He tells her he's going to be Rory's Christmas Sponsor when he sees her next in the halls during their next break between classes and she laughs and tells him that she loves it. She also tells him that if he needs any ideas she knows a few things they can do around town that she used to do with her family back when they were all still a family.

\-----

She feels bad for Sam after he leaves the auditorium by himself. So she texts him asking him where he's collecting donations and meets him there after they're all finished in the auditorium.

He gives her an extra set of bells and she thanks him, lopping an arm that isn't holding the bells around his because she's freezing and it's an excuse to be close to him. "I agree with what you were saying to Artie, Christmas should be a little sad." He scoffs and asks her what she could possibly be sad about. It stings, but she knows he's just upset. "This is the first Christmas I'm spending alone, my mom is going to visit Frannie so I'm here by myself."

She watches as the guilt spreads across his face. "Shit Quinn, I'm sorry I didn't think-" she shakes her head, causing him to stop talking because it's clear she doesn't want to discuss it. "Do you want to drive down with me and Rory to Kentucky and spend Christmas with my family?"

She smiles and squeezes his arm, but tells him "no it's okay, I'm going to hang out with Rachel since she doesn't celebrate Christmas."

"Are you sure Q? I know how much you love Christmas." Her heart flutters at the fact that he remembers, but she nods.

"I'll be fine, my mom and I are planning to do something anyway when she comes back." He looks unconvinced, but lets it go and they change the subject on what he should get Stacy and his mom for Christmas instead.

\-----

She tells Sam about how the Glee Club was supposed to perform at the homeless shelter for Sue and the both of them decide to bow out of the Christmas special to volunteer.

She gets there after him and stands in the entrance, watching him joke around with some of the volunteers. She grins as he spins one of the little girls around. She jumps about two feet in the air when Sue appears behind her shouting, "Q! What are you doing? Grab your apron and get it going!"

Sam looks up at, finally noticing her and she blushes. She goes and stands beside him, helping him pour food onto people's plates. She calls him out the fourth time she catches him staring at her, asking him "what?"

He blushes and tells her, "You look like you're doing a lot better."

"I think I was just stuck focusing on the stuff that I didn't have and none of the stuff that was good. Stuff in the future." She doesn't know what it is about Sam that just makes her want to pour her heart out to him, but she feels like she can tell him anything. She hopes that feeling never goes away.

"I'm glad you turned it around. You deserve good things Quinn." She wants to tell him _I don't care about having good things, I just want you._ But she knows now isn't the time, not when he still has unfinished business with Mercedes.

She watches as a grin spreads across Sam's face when he sees the Glee Club walk into the shelter. It makes her happy to see him joyed. Santana gives her a look when she goes to give her a hug and Quinn shakes her head to indicate nothing happened. She ended up having to tell Santana the whole saga about her feelings for Sam after she had blurted out that she still loved him in the bathroom that day at school.

She takes her apron off and stands beside Rachel near Rory and Sam while they perform _Do They Know It's Christmas?_

She helps Rachel distribute presents after their performance and helps Sue clean up as soon as everyone has been fed. Her and Sam are some of the last few to leave and they walk in a comfortable silence towards the parking lot.

She wishes him goodnight before heading to her car, but he stops her before she can go too far. "Hey Q, hold on a sec." She turns around, eyebrows raised as he places a small wrapped box in her hands. She looks at him questionably as she unwraps the box and opens it to find the promise ring he gave her sitting in it.

She gasps, "Sam, I can't." She goes to give him the box back, but he puts his glove-covered hands overtop of hers and pushes the box back towards her.

"It belongs to you Quinn, I have no reason to keep it. I know you put it back in my locker last year," He trails off and she feels embarrassed knowing the reason why. "But I want you to have it." She's shocked, when she gave him his Christmas gift last week (a new video game that he had kept going on about) she had told him she hadn't expected anything in return.

"Sam seriously, give it to Stacy or something, I can't keep it." She hasn't stopped staring at it since she opened the box, it still looks the same as it did last year.

"As I said Q, I want you to have it. Merry Christmas." He leans forward and kisses her cheek before heading towards his truck. She smiles at the ring, taking one of her mittens off and placing it on her finger.

* * *

**Yes/No**

She's sitting outside with Santana when Mercedes and the girls come over talking about Mercedes' relationship with Sam over the summer. Quinn's face falls and Santana reaches over, squeezing her hand.

She loves Mercedes, but she really doesn't want to hear about her and Sam's relationship. Isn't Mercedes still dating Shane anyways? She snickers when Santana kicks Mercedes and Rachel off the table. She laughs along with Tina and Brittnay at all the details when really she's dying on the inside.

\-----

She cheers with Brittnay and Santana when Mr. Schue announces that he's going to propose to Ms. Pillsbury. It puts her in a great mood until she sees Sam chase after Mercedes after Glee Club.

Ever since Sam joined the God Squad to get closer to Mercedes, Quinn has been stuck third-wheeling with the two of them. Normally she doesn't mind third-wheeling with couples, she loves Blaine and Kurt. And hanging out with Tina and Mike is awesome, but hanging out with the guy you're in love with and the girl he's trying to get with? Not the best feeling.

She thinks he's joking when he tells her he joined the synchronized swimming team, until he shows her his robe.

"Sam, you can't be serious. You love football, why can't you just wait another year until tryouts again?" She asks him while they walk down the hallway together.

"I want to get her back, Quinn. So if an athlete is what she wants, an athlete is what I'll be." She should have known this would have been about Mercedes.

She's tried her hardest to not be bitter about it, and so far? She feels like she's been doing a good job, but it is really difficult when he's practically shoving the fact that he wants Mercedes back down her throat. So she kind of snaps at him.

"She has a boyfriend Sam." She covers it up with a laugh so it doesn't look like she's upset about it, but it just comes off like she's insane.

He doesn't appreciate her comment because he tells her, "yeah well so did you and you still chose Finn."

Ouch, that stung. She doesn't get why he's being so defensive. If he knows firsthand how it feels then why is he choosing to make Shane feel the same way?

But maybe it's not about Shane or Mercedes at all, maybe this is still about last year, so she asks him, "Is that what this is about? You're trying to punish me?"

He laughs at her like she's crazy and she wishes she could take it back. She wishes that she just hadn't said anything at all. Of course it's not about her, why would she even think that. Sam is clearly over her and everything that happened between them.

"I don't know if you've noticed Quinn, but not everything is about you." He says coldly.

She decides that's where she's going to draw the line, and she doesn't really want him to see that she's made him cry. So she sniffles quietly to keep in her tears and storms down the hall, ignoring him calling after her.

\-----

She watches him get slushied, and she's about to leave as soon as she sees Mercedes walk over, she's decided that she's punished herself enough for today. But then she hears Shane and sighs, knowing Mercedes will probably leave with him. Once she runs around she sees that her suspicions were correct, so she grabs his arm and pulls him towards the girls washroom, muttering, "come on."

He throws his bag on the floor and she helps him out of his flannel. She shakes it out to get the slushie pieces out and he runs his hands through his hair. As soon as she's done with his flannel, she goes to help him with his hair, taking the towel and running it under hot water.

"I'm getting a weird sense of deja vu right now." He chuckles. She ignores him. Just because she's willing to help him out doesn't mean she's still not upset about what he said to her.

He must get the hint because he sighs and says "I'm sorry."

She's still hurt and thinks she deserves more than two words, but she also doesn't want to fight with him so she tells him "it's fine" in a little bit of a harsh tone.

He turns off the tap and grabs her wrists turning her towards him, forcing her to look up at him. "I shouldn't have snapped at you and said what I said, I'm sorry."

He's looking at her with those puppy dog eyes he knows she can't say no too so she sighs and pushes his shoulder. "I hate you."

He grins and tells her, "good. I would've had to tickle forgiveness out of you otherwise." while pinching her hips.

She yelps at tells him to stop it while laughing. "Sam seriously stop, you are such a child."

This causes him to laugh and pick up his bag and flannel, heading towards her slowly pinching his fingers together like a crab.

She laughs and runs out of the washroom while shouting at him, "Sam you're so weird!" laughing as he chases after her.

\-----

Tina helps her get ready for the number the girls are going to perform for Mr. Schue. She helps her pick out a black dress and curls her hair for her. She squeals with Tina and Rachel before they're about to perform to get their nerves and excitement out.

She takes a seat on one of the stools and thinks about Sam as she sings her solo lines, remembering the first time she saw him when he ran into the choir room last year, the way that she had felt, but apparently she wasn't the only one who was thinking about him.

She follows the other girls into the girls bathroom where Mercedes ran off to, she listens as Mercedes tells them that she didn't think of Shane, she thought of Sam. Her heart drops as Rachel suggests that maybe the spark between Mercedes and Sam might still be there.

\-----

Mr. Schue loves Sam's idea of a synchronized swimming proposal. They rehearse for a couple of days and then Mr. Schue decides they're ready.

She gets ready with all the glee girls and sits to the side with Sugar as the rest of the girls are asking Mercedes about Sam. Sugar asks her why she isn't over there and Quinn lies and tells her it's because she's nervous about their performance.

For tradition, Tina does her hair and Quinn does her makeup. They all head outside and she tries not to look at Sam and Mercedes talking in the corner.

She swims to the edge and takes Tina's hand as they watch Mr. Schue propose. They cheer after they hear Ms. Pillsbury say yes. She's too happy to be upset over the fact that she saw Mercedes and Sam hug out of the corner of her eye.

* * *

**Michael**

She drives Sam back to the Hudson-Hummels because Kurt has to drive Blaine to the hospital and Sam had gotten a ride to the parking garage with them, not seeing the need to drive himself there.

He slams the car door as soon as he gets into the passenger's seat. She flinches and after a few minutes of awkward silence she says, "please don't break my car." while chuckling softly.

"This is such bullshit! And I just know that they're going to get away with this crap, it's garbage." If she didn't know Sam better, she would be afraid at how angry he is, but this is what Sam does, he protects the people he cares about.

She takes one hand off of the steering wheel to grab one of his. "Look I know it sucks, but there's really nothing we can do except tell Mr. Schue."

She rolls her eyes when he mumbles "like that will do anything." under her breath.

"What are you doing to do then Sam? Beat Sebastian up? Look what happened when you went after Karofsky last year." She doesn't want him to do anything stupid. Sebastian is smarter than Karofsky, and he's a wild card. There's no telling what he'll do, and if he's willing to do this to an ex-warbler who knows how far he'll go with the rest of them. She doesn't want Sam hurting himself.

When they get to the Hudson-Hummel's he thanks her for the ride and wishes her goodnight. She's exhausted when she gets home, falling asleep immediately after sending Kurt a text to send her updates on Blaine.

\-----

She gets her Yale letter the next morning in the mail. Her mom brings it to her before she heads to school and tells her to open it. As if she didn't have enough to be anxious about today, she also has to perform her Michael Jackson number in Glee Club later on.

She tells her mom to open it for her and read her what it says because she can't get her hands to stop shaking. Her heart is beating like a mile a minute.

"Quinnie you got in!" She feels like she can't breathe. She got into Yale? There's no way she got into Yale, why would they want her?

"What? There's no way." she says more to herself than her mom.

Her mom seems to think she's talking to her though because she shoves the acceptance letter in her face and says "no look Quinnie! Look!"

She takes the letter in between her shaking hands and reads the first few words. Ms. Fabray, we are pleased to inform you she stops reading there because she already has her answer. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit."

Her mother just laughs when usually she would scold her for cursing. They both cry a little bit, but then Quinn has to go. Before she leaves she promises her mom that the two of them will celebrate later tonight.

\-----

She tells Mr. Schue when she sees him in the hallway once she gets to school because she's itching to tell someone. He hugs her and congratulates her, telling her that he's so proud of her.

He asks her if she's told anyone else and she tells him no, she's planning to tell them after her Michael number in Glee Club.

Right before Glee Club Rachel finds her in the washroom, telling her that she needs her advice about an adult problem. The first thought that comes to Quinn's mind is, holy shit she's pregnant. So she asks Rachel just that.

"Well uhm, Finn asked me to marry him." She gasps because that was not what she was expecting at all. Rachel and Finn are soulmates, everyone knows that. Wherever the two of them end up, they will end up together. But Quinn also knows Rachel, she's ambitious and determined. She has these big dreams and goals and a teenage marriage? Will only get in her way.

So she's honest with Rachel, she tells her that she can't.

She knows Rachel came to her because Rachel wants to say no, but she needs someone else to tell her it's a bad idea first. That's why she came to Quinn and not Kurt. But she also knows Rachel won't admit that.

So she gives Rachel her Yale acceptance letter, telling her that she got in early admissions.

Rachel hugs her and tells her, "Quinn that's amazing. That's so great."

She kicks herself when she remembers Rachel has already been stressing about NYADA, she probably thinks Quinn is tiring to rub her acceptance in her face.

So she tells Rachel, "my point being is that I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam. Even thought I loved some of them," Inside her head she thinks, I'm still in love with one of them. "But by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter, I won't know why." She hopes what she is telling is the truth, that as soon as she leaves this place she'll be able to forget about every mistake she's ever made, she'll finally be able to get over the past. She'll finally be able to move on.

She tells Rachel that she has an amazing life ahead of her, full of all these goals and dreams and that as hard as it may be, if she wants everything she's ever dreamed of, she's going to have to say goodbye.

\-----

She's too happy to even be nervous about her performance for Glee Club. As soon as she finishes, she stays at the front this time and doesn't rush back to her seat.

Finn tells her that her performance was incredible and Mr. Schue urges her to share her news with the rest of the Glee Club.

"I got into Yale!" The praise she gets from her fellow members doesn't even make her embarrassed this time, she's too giddy. "I wanted to thank you guys, because without each and every one of you this would have never happened. You supported me and loved me through all the drama, and that's why I'm standing here. I wasted so much time hating myself for the stupid mistakes that I made, but the truth is that without all of those, I would have never dreamed this to be my future. I was the only one standing in the way of myself. You can't change your past, but you can let go and start your future."

She says the majority of her speech to Rachel because she wants Rachel to realize that she is capable of so many great things, with or without Finn. She knows Finn, she knows that he's probably just afraid to lose Rachel because she's planning to go to New York and he has no idea what he wants to do, and that isn't fair.

She hugs everyone, squeezes Kurt's hand as he tells her how proud he is and he's definitely taking her shopping before she leaves because she needs a new wardrobe for New Haven.

She lets out a few tears as everyone tells her how proud of her they are. She's a little afraid that Rachel might be upset with her because she didn't come up with the rest of the group to congratulate her, but she hopes Rachel will understand eventually.

\-----

She gets pulled into someone as she's walking down the hallway and laughs as soon as she realizes it's Sam.

"Yale are you kidding me? Why didn't you tell me you applied?" He looks ecstatic and it makes her heart flutter, knowing it's all for her.

"I didn't know if I was going to get in." she shrugs while biting her lip.

He shakes his head while still smiling and pulls her in for another hug. "I am so proud of you Quinn, you're going to kill it out there. I will admit that it's going to suck not having you here. I am going to miss you like crazy."

She tells him she's going to miss him too. But she knows it won't hurt that much, she's gotten used to the feeling of missing him. After all she misses him all the time, and he's right here.

\-----

She tries to hang out with Kurt as much as she can while Blaine is in the hospital awaiting his surgery. They have the same study hall together so they research Yale when they don't have any homework or studying to do. She's allowed him to take her on two shopping sprees, and they've hung out after school watching Broadway musicals she's never heard of three times this week. She's running out of ideas.

Luckily Tina suggests a girls night on Friday. Rachel's dads agree to hold it in their basement as long as there is no alcohol this time. She's one of the first ones there, with only Kurt and Tina being the only others to arrive before her. She helps Tina set up the snacks as Kurt and Rachel bicker about the perfect movies to watch.

After about three movies Santana suggests a gossiping session, and of course the first topic of discussion is Mercedes and Sam. She wonders if she can head to the washroom again to avoid hearing about it, but she already went ten minutes ago so she decides against it.

"I don't know guys, I'm still with Shane, but I can't deny that I still have feelings for Sam." Quinn sips on her lemonade so she doesn't end up saying something she will regret later. Tina asks Mercedes how he's been doing without his family and Mercedes tells them he's been okay, but he misses his brother, "Stephan I think." It's Stevie! Quinn shouts inside her head. He has a sister too, Stacy! And I know for a fact he misses her more because she's his baby sister. It annoys her that Mercedes doesn't even know anything about Sam, how much can she possibly feel for him if she doesn't even know his brother's name?

As soon as the topic switches to Rachel's first time with Finn, she excuses herself saying she needs a refill. She heads over to the drink table, placing both hands on top of it after putting her cup down and taking a deep breath.

"You okay?" She jumps and turns around, finding Kurt looking at her concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine, just need a refill." It's a lie and they both know it. He can tell that she doesn't exactly enjoy Mercedes talking about her feelings for the guy Quinn is in love with.

"You never ended up telling him, did you?" She shakes her head and he gives her a pity look, then stands beside her and wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"I mean I tried, but it came out all wrong and he thought I was just using him to get Beth back. And once I found enough courage to try again, I heard about him and Mercedes." She sighs and wipes a stray tear from her cheek. "Look at how happy she is when she talks about him, I can't do that to them."

He nods in understanding. "You're a really good friend Quinn." She smiles at him and he gives her arm a squeeze. "If it's meant to be it will be." he tells her before heading back to the group.

\-----

Sam texts her once she gets home that night to Facetime him. She raises an eyebrow at the message, but goes to her computer and clicks the call icon beside his name. They haven't Facetimed much since he's been back since there isn't really a need for it anymore, choosing to spend more time together in person instead.

"Quinn I need your help!" He blurts out as soon as the call connects.

"With what?" she asks. She's sitting on her bed, facing her computer trying to take off her boots while he talks.

"I want to do something special for Mercedes for Michaels week." She drops her boot and it falls to the floor with a dull thud. She feels her throat starting to close. He wants her help to do something special for Mercedes? Advice she can give, and she can handle hearing little details about their relationship, but helping him do special things for Mercedes? She doesn't know if her heart will be able to take it.

She asks him why he doesn't just ask Finn and he rolls his eyes. "When have you ever known Finn to be romantic? C'mon Q please?"

She sighs and tells him okay, turning around to put her boots into the far end of her closet so he won't see the few tears escape her eyes.

She tells him what she thinks he should do and he tells her that her idea is perfect, asking her how she came up with it. She lies and tells him she just said what she thought Mercedes would like, when in reality it's what she hopes he would have done for her had the roles been reversed.

\-----

She makes her way to the auditorium when she sees him setting up. He looks so excited while he talks to the band, telling them to be ready to perform _Human Nature._ She watches everything from where she watched the Glee Club perform You Can't Stop The Beat earlier in the year. She doesn't know why she does it, she knows it will only make her upset.

She leaves the auditorium in tears after watching Sam and Mercedes kiss and tries to run straight to the girls washroom without anyone seeing her. Unfortunately luck is not on her side today as Brittnay stops her.

"Quinn? Are you okay?" She shakes her head and runs past her, heading to the washroom. She gets a text from Santana a few minutes later asking her if she's okay and that Brittnay said she saw her crying. She ignores the message and slips into one of the stalls.

"Quinn Fabray I swear to God you better come out of whatever stall you're hiding in right now." She knows she shouldn't even be surprised when she hears Santana come into the bathroom a few minutes later.

She groans and opens the door, stepping passed Santana and heading straight to the mirrors.

"Quinn what the hell happened?" Santana asks her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She sighs and grabs some paper towel to wipe away the mascara that had run down her cheeks. "He kissed her."

She can see Santana look at her in pity and it just makes her feel worse. "Oh Q."

"I know I have so much to be grateful for, but it hurts so bad seeing them together, Santana. I would give anything to go back to last year and just not mess anything up."

She doesn't try to push Santana away as she grabs her and pulls her into a hug, just starts crying again. "I know Q, I know."


	9. The Spanish Teacher, Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I completely forgot that Quinn rejoins the God Squad in Heart so let’s just pretend that doesn’t happen and she creates the club with Mercedes before Sam transfers back. Also! That random drummer in like every New Directions performance is portrayed by John Lock, but his character doesn’t even have a name so I’m calling him John.
> 
> And of course I was too lazy to edit so I apologize for any mistakes.

**The Spanish Teacher**

She doesn’t understand why they need to have a Latin week in Glee Club, Quinn doesn’t even take Spanish she takes French. But then David Martinez walks into the Glee Club and suddenly she doesn’t have a problem with it anymore.

She’s mesmerized by him. She has no idea what the words mean that he’s singing, but she thinks she’s in love. She has a lot of fun dancing around with Sugar during his performance, more fun than she’s had in a while. And Sam and Mercedes are in a counselling appointment with Ms. Pillsbury so she doesn’t have to worry about having to see them together. 

She knows he’s going to tell her everything that happened later, so she enjoys the time she has now where she can pretend nothing in her life is really wrong. 

\-----

Him and Mercedes join the rest of the Glee Club in the cafeteria for lunch. Mercedes takes a seat between Kurt and Rachel, and Sam takes a seat next to her. 

She was talking to Santana who was sitting on the other side of her before he got there, but she can see by his expression that something is bothering him so she asks him how it went. 

“Ms. Pillsbury thinks that we shouldn’t talk for a week and Mercedes agrees.” She doesn’t know if she loves or hates the idea. Yes she won’t have to see the two of them together all week, but she knows Sam is probably going to tell her how he feels about it throughout the week. 

She doesn’t know what she can say to make him feel better, whenever she tries to give him advice it comes out wrong and the two of them usually end up bickering. But still, she’s his best friend and even though she hates this entire situation, she’s still going to help him. 

“I’m sorry Sam, but at least she will have a better idea on what she wants to do by the end of the week.” It’s not the best advice she’s ever given, but it’s also all she can give him without her heart hurting. 

He shrugs and changes the subject to what song he should sing in Glee Club this week.

\-----

She thought this week would be easier than most because Mercedes and Sam aren’t talking, but she realizes how wrong she is when she sees Mercedes sing her entire song to Sam while she is forced to watch. 

Doesn’t singing to each other break the whole no talking to each other rule? She realizes that she’s probably just bitter. 

She doesn’t know why she can’t just move on. Sam is clearly not interested in her anymore, he has his eyes set on someone else, but she for some reason just can’t. It’s not like she hasn’t had any offers, she’s had different guys ask her if she’s willing to go out with them, she tried going on one date too, but the idea of being with someone else just makes her more miserable than the idea of having to watch Sam and Mercedes for the rest of her life. 

\-----

She wishes Sam good luck as she walks into the choir room the next day. She’s taken back at how good he looks in his outfit, and how sexy he sounds singing in Spanish.

She claps along, and smiles big when she realizes he took her advice to sing  _ Hero.  _ That happiness lasts for about two seconds though as soon as he starts singing to Mercedes. She dances with herself to distract herself from the fact that he’s singing to Mercedes who is sitting right beside her. 

\-----

She finds him in the hallway at his locker in between periods. She quietly walks up behind him and covers his eyes with her hands “guess who!” she says excited. 

He laughs. “I know that voice, it belongs to my favourite blonde.” He turns around and smiles at her while saying, “would you look at that, I was right.” 

She throws her head back and laughs. She’s super giddy today. Not only has she not had to deal with seeing Sam and Mercedes since they have both done their performances for Glee Club, but it is also Thursday, meaning her and Sam have their weekly study session in the library at lunch. 

“We’re still on for lunch right?” She asks him. 

He runs his hands through his hair and her heart drops. He only does that when he’s nervous about something. “About that, do you mind if I take a raincheck this week? I finally get to talk to Mercedes again at twelve.” 

“Oh. Yeah, of course. I’ll just have lunch with Santana then.” He grins again and thanks her before closing his locker and walking off, leaving her standing there wondering how many more different ways he can find to rip her heart out of her chest and tear it into pieces. 

\-----

Even though it hurts, she still texts him during her last period to ask him how it went. He sends her a text back saying,  **it didn’t, she left with shane.** She texts him back telling him she’s sorry when really she feels the happiest she’s felt all day.

____________________________________________________________________

**Heart**

Quinn used to love Valentine’s week at school. Dressing up in white, pink, and red and receiving flowers from her boyfriends. But that wasn’t even her favourite part, her favourite part was seeing everyone else in love. Everyone else feeling as happy as she was feeling. 

Except this year she isn’t happy, she’s miserable. Last year she was dating the only guy who’s ever made her genuinely happy and this year she’s forced to watch him give all that love to someone else. 

And of course they have to sing about love in Glee Club. Looks like this will be another week where she sits out. 

She watches as Sugar gets up and tells them about the Valentine’s day party she’s planned. She’s excited for another Valentine’s party at Breadstix, she had to miss the one last year for reasons she doesn’t want to talk about. But then she hears Sugar say everyone needs to bring a date and she feels miserable again. A date? Who is she supposed to bring? 

She looks down at Sam who looks over at Mercedes and realizes that isn’t even a possibility. She decides maybe she can ask Kurt and the two of them can go as friends while Blaine is healing from his surgery.

\-----

She walks into the God Squad meeting at lunch confused because there’s a guy sitting in her usual spot who she’s never seen before. 

She takes a seat across from him and introduces herself. “Hi I’m Quinn.” she says with a smile. He just nods back and she thinks to herself  _ who the hell..? _

Before she can ask him who he is Mercedes and Sam walk in and Mercedes starts the meeting. Finally she gets to figure out who this guy is because Sam asks about him. Mercedes tells them his name is Joe and he just transferred. 

Sam gives her a look that says  _ what the hell?  _ and she stifles a giggle. Quinn has been extremely religious her entire life, but bible quotes as tattoos? And no tv, just talk radio? Joe is like an actual teen Jesus. 

She raises her hand reluctantly in favour at Sam’s suggestion to do singing telegrams. She’s all for raising money for good causes, but the Glee Club never really gets a good reaction when they sing in front of large crowds other than for competition. But she doesn’t say anything and just raises her hand in agreement because at least she won’t be singing any solos. 

\-----

Rachel and Finn tell them about their engagement in Glee Club the next day and she can’t believe her ears. Rachel said yes to Finn’s proposal? But what about Quinn’s speech to her? What about having to say goodbye? 

She’s happy Kurt agrees with her, she knew there was a reason why they are such good friends. 

They have no idea what they’re doing. Teenage marriage, or even marriage rarely works for anyone, look at her parents, hell even look at Mr. Schue. So she tells them, “you guys aren’t mature enough or old enough to properly face this type of commitment.” 

She’s kind of sad when Rachel tells her that she isn’t invited to the wedding. Yeah she doesn’t support her decisions, but she would still like to be there. 

She laughs when Kurt sends her a wink during Artie’s performance of  _ Let Me Love You _ , she knows what he’s doing, how he’s trying to distract her from the fact that Sam is probably singing to Mercedes, but she doesn’t care about that right now, she’s too busy appreciating how much of a good friend Kurt is. 

\-----

She walks with Sam to the courtyard where the God Squad will be singing Rachel a telegram bought by Finn since his Astrology class is right across from her Chemistry one. 

She prepares herself for him to start talking about Mercedes since that’s all he’s been doing lately, but to her surprise he brings up Rachel and Finn’s wedding. 

“I’m kind of shocked you’re so unsupportive Q, I thought you loved love.” She sighs, she was expecting to have to explain her reasoning to some people, she just didn’t think Sam would be one of them. 

“I’m also realistic Sam, you can’t seriously tell me that you think if the two of them get hitched right now their marriage will work. Rachel’s planning to go to New York and Finn doesn’t even know what he wants to do yet, it’s a recipe for disaster.” 

“I think I know what this is about.” He says hesitantly and she’s confused. Then she starts to panic. There’s no way he has figured out she still has feelings for him. But that’s the only explanation, Sam knows she still loves him and thinks she’s unsupportive because she’s bitter. Which isn’t even true, well she is bitter but that’s not the reason why she doesn’t agree with Finn and Rachel getting married so young.

“Oh yeah? What?” She asks, trying to sound as calm as possible. 

“Quinn it’s okay if you’re not over Finn.” She laughs and he looks at her startled.  _ Oh my god he’s being serious  _ Quinn thinks to herself. 

“Sam, I’m completely over Finn.” She says while laughing. She can’t believe out of all the possible things he could think of, that’s the reason he came up with. 

“It’s okay if you aren’t, I won’t tell-” She cuts him off because the idea of her still being into Finn is making her feel gross.

“Sam I’m literally into someone else.” It comes out before she even realizes that she said it. He stops and she can feel her eyes go wide.  _ Oh crap Quinn what have you done?  _ she thinks to herself while panicking.

“What?” She tries to think of a way she can get out of this, or someone else she can use as a cover up. Finn clearly won’t work, and he knows how much she hates Puck. Mike is taken, and he knows she would never do that to Tina. She doesn’t even talk to Artie or Rory. And Kurt and Blaine are clearly out for obvious reasons. Maybe she can use the drummer, he’s kind of cute. She thinks his name is John.

“I’m just kidding, I’m not into anyone.” She says while laughing nervously, kicking herself because she sounds like a liar. 

“Quinn I know you, I know when you’re lying and you are definitely lying right now.” She bites her lip and looks up at him, feeling guilty because he actually looks kind of hurt. 

Before she can answer him Mercedes walks up to them. “There you guys are, you took forever. Hurry up Joe’s waiting and Rachel just got here.”

She stays close to Sam their entire performance of  _ Stereo Hearts  _ because he knows how she gets nervous performing in front of large groups of people. She forgot how attractive he sounds while he raps, he only ever listens to country so she doesn’t get to hear it very often. 

She leaves to finish lunch with Santana and Rachel so she can avoid Sam, but he must see her trying to escape because he shouts after her “don’t think we’re finished talking about this!” 

Santana and Rachel look at her weirdly and she lies and tells them they were talking about song options for Sugar’s party since the God Squad is performing. 

\-----

She asks Kurt if he’ll be willing to go with her to Sugar’s party together as friends while they are doing group work in Algebra. “I know you would rather go with Blaine, but I thought since he’s still resting you would maybe want to go with me? As friends of course.” 

His smile falls from his face as he tells her, “oh Q, I think Blaine is all healed since my secret admirer asked to be my date tonight. But maybe you can go with Rory!” 

She smiles and thanks him, telling him that she will consider it, despite her thinking she’s probably better off just staying home again. 

\-----

Rory’s performance is so heartbreaking. She’s devastated that he can’t stay another year. 

She knows Sam is going to be crushed, the two of them had gotten really close. She looks over to see how he’s doing, and for a second she thinks he’s looking at her. She doesn’t know why he would be, but her heart skips a beat. But when she looks at his eyes, she realizes his loving gaze is not for her, it’s for the girl sitting next to her. 

\-----

She doesn’t know why they need to have an emergency God Squad feeling to see how all of them feel about singing to gay people. Santana and Kurt are her best friends, how does Mercedes think this is even a question for her? 

Sam’s right, they sing to gay people all the time in Glee Club, so isn’t that it then? Majority rules? She doesn’t want to make Joe do something that he’s clearly uncomfortable doing, but she guarantees that he has met someone who’s gay. 

Even though she feels fine with singing a telegram to Brittany from Santana, she understands that Joe might need to think about it, so she tells him “you know what, that’s totally fair. You have to look at the hard topics and dilemmas and be honest and truthful. If you ask me, that’s what being Christian is really about.” 

She knows she’s being a little cruel and unfair by directing her words to Mercedes, but Mercedes is being cruel and unfair to both Sam and Shane by dragging them along because she can’t make a decision on who she wants. 

She tells her that she’s trying to protect Sam because he’s her best friend, not because she wants him to herself. 

\-----

Kurt texts her that Sam might need her while she’s sitting in English. She’s puzzled because she saw Sam this morning and he was fine, so she texts him asking him if it can wait, and he sends her back:  **no. emergency. go to auditorium.** She frowns at the message, but does what she says, telling her English teacher that she feels sick so she’s going to go lay down in the nurse’s office. 

She picks up her bag and makes her way to the auditorium and finds Sam sitting on the stage crying with his head in his hands, a red heart shaped box sitting beside him. 

She walks up the steps to the stage quietly because she doesn’t want to startle him. Once she reaches him, she clears her throat so he knows that she’s there and sits beside him. He looks up at her, eyes red and puffy. 

“Oh Sam, what happened?” She wraps her arms around her and he cries into her shoulder. It gives her deja vu from the time he cried in her arms that one night at the motel. 

As soon as he calms down, he sits up straight, choosing to stare at their shoes instead of her. She doesn’t take it personally, she knows he’s doing it because he doesn’t want her to see him as weak. 

“She told Shane.” Quinn’s confused. If Mercedes told Shane does that not mean she wants to be with Sam? That’s why she never told Sam about Finn last year, because she wanted to be with him, not Finn. But if that’s the case then why is Sam crying in the auditorium? 

She asks, “how did that go?” because she doesn’t know what else to say, and she’s very confused. Did she tell Shane because she still wants to be with him? Quinn doesn’t exactly get it. 

“Apparently he cried and told her that he felt like she punched him in the heart. They broke up.” Now she’s super confused. So Mercedes chose no one? Sam looks up at her and must notice her confusion because he continues. “She said she doesn’t know who she is when it comes to love and she can’t be with anyone until she figures it out. She said she can’t be with me.”

She feels awful because she doesn’t feel bad about this at all. This is actually the happiest she’s felt all day, but of course she doesn’t tell him any of that. She just tells him she’s sorry and hugs him again, secretly smiling as he leans his head against her shoulder. 

“Why don’t the people I want ever want me back?” Her heart sinks because that could not be farther from the truth. She thinks to herself  _ I want you back, I know I screwed up when I had you, but I want you back.  _ But she doesn’t tell him that, she just hugs him and tells him that she’s sorry because now isn’t exactly the right time to declare her love for him, and she’s not sure if there will ever be. 

\-----

They walk together to Glee Club and he’s silent the entire way there. She doesn’t push him to talk to her, she knows how Sam works by now. That’s the thing about secretly in love with your best friend, you notice all the little things. Like how if Sam wants to talk about how he feels, he’ll bring it up himself. 

He sits beside Artie in the choir room and she lets him be, she knows he probably wants to be alone right now. She looks over at him worriedly as soon as she realizes that Mercedes is going today for their Glee assignment. She knows she can’t walk up to him and comfort him while she’s in the middle of her song, so she keeps glancing over at him to check on him. 

She kicks herself for choosing to sit behind him because she can’t look to see how his facial expression is. She doesn’t know if he’s smiling, frowning, or crying. She stares at Kurt until he notices her looking at him, and nods her head towards Sam as if to ask  _ how’s he doing?  _ He shakes his head and runs a finger down his cheek to tell her that Sam is crying. 

He gets up and walks out of the choir room as soon as Mercedes finishes, and she waits until Mr. Schue dismisses them and then chases after him. 

“Sam!” She shouts after him because he’s already across the hall. He stops for a moment and then continues and she glares at the back of his head because how dare he ignore her. She grumbles and chases after him in her heeled booties, grimacing at the ache that is starting in the heels of her feet. 

“I know you heard me.” She half pants out as soon as she catches up to him. He doesn’t say anything to her, just stares at her with tears falling down his face as she takes a minute to catch her breath. She really needs to start doing some form of cardio again. 

She sighs and takes his hand, dragging him towards the doors leading to the parking lot. Of course he’s no help, just allowing himself to be dragged as she uses all her strength to pull him along. “Where are we going? We still have classes you know.” 

“Screw class. We are going to get the cure for any broken heart.” she tells him, looking back to give him a smile. “Ice cream!” 

The small smile she gets back totally makes missing her History quiz worth it.

\-----

She doesn’t put the radio on in the car because she knows he probably wants to wallow in his feelings. He doesn’t say anything as they get out of the car once they arrive, and he continues to be silent while they walk in so she orders for the both of them as soon as they get to the counter. 

“One scoop of vanilla in a cup and one scoop of chocolate in a cone please.” she tells the lady, handing her cash as soon as she tells her the total. 

Sam thanks her as soon as they get their ice cream and find a small table to sit at. 

“You know we have like the most basic favourite flavours right?” She gets a chuckle out of him and she can feel her face break out into the biggest smile. She figures now is a good time to push him a bit, she’s given him his chance to feel sad, now it’s time for her to help him feel better. “So what do you want to do? Talk about it or distract yourself?” 

He sighs and looks down at his ice cream which is slowly melting down his cone and hitting his hand. She slides him over a napkin, but he just stares at it. “I just hate that we have to perform together tomorrow night. And I don’t have a date either anymore.” 

She kicks her foot against his, “hey, don’t exclude me and teen Jesus.” She gets another chuckle and internally pats herself on the back, she usually only gets one when he’s super upset and that one is usually out of pity because he knows she’s trying to comfort her. 

“And you can be my date.” she says with a shrug like it’s no big deal, when really it’s a huge deal. Maybe not so much for him, but to her it is.

He raises an eyebrow at her. “Really?” 

“Yeah I mean we’re best friends, aren’t we? That’s what best friends are for.” She shoves another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth so her hands don’t start shaking. 

“Okay. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow.” 

She’s so thankful she’s sitting because she knows if she wasn’t her knees would have probably given out.

\-----

She drops him off at the Hudson-Hummels as soon as school is out so Burt and Carole won’t know he skipped. Before he gets out of the car, he turns to her and says, “thanks Q, I didn’t realize how much I needed this. You’re a really good friend.” 

And there it is,  _ friend.  _ It doesn’t matter if Mercedes doesn’t want to be with him anymore, or if he’s her date to the Valentine’s day party tomorrow night, because all he sees her as, all she will ever be, is his friend. 

She can’t tell if the kiss he gives her on the cheek before he gets out of the car makes her feel any better.

\-----

She wears a pink, red, and white dress and adds a pink barrette to her hair because they are love colours and she decides lucky love colours is what she needs to get her through the night. 

She gets a text from Sam at 7:02 that he’s here and grabs a white cardigan before heading outside. She’s surprised to see him standing outside her door as soon as she opens it. She’s so taken back that it takes her a second to realize that he’s holding flowers. 

“They’re peonies. I know you think roses are cliche. I asked Kurt what colour your dress was so I could get some to match.” He tells her sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck.  _ So that explains why Kurt asked me to send him a picture of what I was wearing.  _

“Sam, they’re beautiful.” She tells him to wait a second while she goes to put them in a vase. As soon as she sets them down she gets an idea. She rips one of the flowers from its stem and grabs a pin from one of the kitchen drawers. 

He looks at her questiongly when she reappears with the flower without its stem in one hand and a pin in the other. She walks up to him and pins the flower to his blazer. “Here, so everyone knows you’re my date.” 

He smiles at her and offers her his arm, asking her what song she’s planning to sing for her solo. The God Squad is the main entertainment for tonight, so they have one group number prepared for Brittnay’s telegram as well as a solo from each of them.

“It’s a surprise.” She says like a little kid and he laughs at her while opening the passenger door for her so she can get in. 

“Will you be dedicating it to that guy that you’re into?” He asks her as soon as he gets into the drivers side. Her smile drops from her face. She forgot she accidentally told him about that.  _ Well at least he didn’t ask me who it was _ she thinks.

“Yeah, I will be.” Which is the truth, he just doesn’t know it’s him. 

\-----

She dances with Sam during Blaine’s performance of  _ Love Shack  _ and is glad to see Sam laughing and dancing happily with her. He pops a balloon beside her and she jumps and pushes at her when she turns around and sees him laughing at her. 

Sugar taps her on the shoulder when Blaine’s performance is almost over and tells her that she’s up next. She thanks her and takes the microphone Sugar is giving her, heading towards the stage. 

She places the microphone on the stand and closes her eyes, telling herself no one will really be watching her, they will all be focusing on their respective partners. 

“This is for those of us who don’t have someone for Valentine’s day.” 

She closes her eyes, waits for her cue and starts singing as soon as she hears it. 

_ Summer after high school when we first met _

_ We’d make out in your Mustang to Radiohead _

_ And on my 18th birthday we got matching tattoos  _

_ Used to steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof _

_ Talk about our future like we had a clue  _

_ Never planned that one day I’d be losing you _

She’s looking at Sam while she’s singing, but he’s not looking at her. He’s looking at Mercedes who’s sitting and laughing with Tina and Rachel. 

_ In another life _

_ I would be your girl _

_ We’d keep all our promises  _

_ Be us against the world _

_ In another life _

_ I would make you stay  _

_ So I don’t have to say you were  _

_ The one that got away _

_ The one that got away _

She looks over at Kurt who is dancing with Blaine because she realizes that if she stares at Sam the entire time, her feelings for him will be obvious to everyone, including him, which is the opposite of what she wants right now. Kurt gives her a small pout and moves his hands to make a heart. 

_ I was June and you were my Johnny Cash _

_ Never one without the other, we made it a pact _

_ Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on  _

_ Someone said you had your tattoo removed  _

_ Saw you downtown singing the blues  _

_ It’s time to face the music, I’m no longer your muse _

She moves over to Rachel and Finn who have now started slow dancing together. She looks in envy at how Finn managed to screw everything up in her life, but still managed to get everything he wanted in his. She knows eventually she’s going to have to own up to the fact that most of what happened was her fault, but she’s not ready to deal with that kind of heartache yet. 

_ But in another life _

_ I would be your girl  _

_ We’d keep all our promises  _

_ Be us against the world _

_ In another life _

_ I would make you stay  _

_ So I don’t have to say you were _

_ The one that got away _

_ The one that got away _

She catches Santana staring at her out of the corner of her eye so she looks over at her. Santana gives her a small smile and mouths ‘come sit with me after’. She nods. 

_ All this money can’t buy me a time machine, no _

_ Can’t replace you with a million rings, no  _

_ I should’ve told you what you meant to me _

_ ‘Cause now I pay the price  _

She goes back to staring at Sam who has now moved to sit next to Artie. Her heart warms at what a good friend he is, how he always puts everyone else before himself. She wishes she was more like that. Maybe then he would have wanted to stay with her. Maybe then she wouldn’t have cheated on him in the first place.

_ In another life _

_ I would be your girl _

_ We’d keep all our promises _

_ Be us against the world _

_ In another life _

_ I would make you stay _

_ So I don’t have to say you were  _

_ The one that got away _

_ The one that got away _

He finally looks over at her and for some reason she doesn’t look away. She doesn’t know where this newfound confidence has come from, but she kind of likes it. 

_ In another life _

_ I would make you stay _

_ So I don’t have to say you were _

_ The one that got away _

_ The one that got away _

She knows that he will probably know she was singing to him now, he’ll figure out that the guy she is into is him, but she doesn’t care anymore. What else does she have to lose? 

She waits until the applause is finished before she steps down from the mini stage. Joe is next so she smiles at him as she passes him. He gives her a weird look, but she doesn’t think much of it, he’s probably never had that much interaction with a female before that isn’t his mother. 

She goes and sits with Santana as Brittnay chats with Sugar and Rory. Santana wraps an arm around her shoulder and tells her that even though she’s dating Brittnay, she still thinks Valentine’s day is for suckers. Quinn laughs and thanks her. 

“Interesting song choice Q, trouty will be honoured.” Santana tells her while nudging her shoulder into hers.

She shushes Santana before looking around to see if anyone heard her. “He doesn’t know.”

Santana’s eyes go wide. “You still haven’t told him?” She shakes her head and Santana asks her “what the hell Quinn, why not?” 

She shrugs and tells her, “it hasn’t been the right time.” 

Santana gives her a look that says  _ really? _ before telling her, “Quinn there isn’t going to be a ‘right time’, you’re just going to have to put on your big girl pants and tell him. Besides, if he didn’t know before he’ll definitely know now because of how you were looking at him while you were singing that song.” 

She groans and drops her head into her folded arms on the table. “Was I that obvious?” 

“I mean, trouty also isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to girls being into him, so maybe he hasn’t figured it out.” Santana tells her while shrugging. Quinn snorts, that is true, Sam could never figure out girls were flirting with him while the two of them were together last year, he always just thought they were being  _ nice.  _

\-----

Towards the end of Joe’s performance Brittnay pulls Santana up to dance with her, telling Quinn that she’s free to join them. 

She smiles and tells Brittnay it’s okay, she’s fine on her own. 

Joe finishes and she watches Sam as he heads up to the stage and starts his song. She recognizes the song instantly,  _ She Will Be Loved  _ by Maroon 5. 

Kurt comes and sits next to her, startling her a little bit. “So Mercedes told me her and Joe came as each other's dates, as friends of course. But that makes me wonder who your date is Ms. Fabray.” 

She blushes and knows that clearly indicates to Kurt her answer. He smirks at her knowingly. 

“And that is such a nice flower attached to Sam’s blazer might I add, what’s the story there?” She didn’t know if it was possible for her cheeks to get any redder, but she was proved wrong after hearing Kurt’s second question. 

“He brought me flowers when he picked me up.” She says it like it’s no big deal, but she knows her tomato-coloured cheeks are begging to differ right now. 

“He’s looking at you, you know.” She looks from Kurt and up at Sam, who is indeed staring at her as he sings the lines, 

_ I know where you hide, alone in your car _

_ Know all of the things that make you who you are _

_ I know that goodbye means nothing at all _

_ Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls _

She wants to look away, but she can’t. It’s like everything and everyone else fades away, background noise to the two of them. She hears Kurt say from behind her, “I have a feeling your story with Sam isn’t over yet.” 

She’s finally able to look away when he moves his eyes to look over at Mercedes. Any hope she had for the two of them disappears as she looks over and sees her staring at him back. 

“He’s in love with Mercedes, Kurt. He doesn’t feel anything for me anymore.” It breaks her heart to say out loud, and yeah Sam has never said that he actually loves Mercedes, but he’s also never fought this hard for someone else. 

“I have a theory about the two of you.” A theory? Before she can ask Kurt what he means Blaine approaches their table. 

“I apologize Quinn, but I am going to have to steal Kurt from you. I haven’t seen him all week.” She nods in understanding and tells Blaine it’s completely okay with her. She sits at the table alone watching all the other couples slow dance as Mercedes starts her song. 

She feels someone sit beside her and looks over to see Sam. He’s not looking at her, instead looking at all the dancing couples in front of them like she had moments ago. 

She’s decided that she’s not going to talk first, if he knows about her feelings for him then he can bring it up first, otherwise she’s going to continue to pretend like they are not there. 

“Want to dance?” She looks at him surprised because the last thing she was expecting him to do was to ask her to dance. But still, she takes his hand and follows him as he takes her to the middle of the dance floor. She wraps her arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around her waist. She looks over at Santana who winks at her and she rolls her eyes. 

“I liked your performance.” She blushes,  _ this is it, this is where he’s going to tell me that he knows.  _ But he doesn’t, he doesn’t say anything. She waits a minute to see if he’s just hesitating if he should continue, but then she realized that’s it, that’s all he was planning on saying. 

She doesn’t know if she feels relieved or disappointed, but she thanks him anyways. 

He smiles at her and says “no problem Q.” She leans her head into his chest and closes her eyes, pretending that they never broke up last year. That she didn’t really cheat on him with Finn and they stayed together and here they are a year later back at Breadstix again. 

She’s pulled out of that reality when she hears him whisper “happy Valentine’s day Q.”

She blinks rapidly to keep the tears from falling out and spilling onto his shirt. “Happy Valentine’s day Sam” she whispers into his chest. 


	10. On My Way and Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that took a lot longer than I wanted it too. I apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out, I usually update every three days but I had the worst writer's block for this chapter. I hope the fact that it’s super long makes up for it! Enjoy and of course reviews are always appreciated (:

**On My Way**

Becky Jackston tells her that coach Sue wants to see her while she’s at her locker grabbing her books for her next class. She heads straight to Sue’s office assuming it’s urgent because Sue hasn’t spoken to her since she ditched her congress video. 

She knocks on the door before asking, “you wanted to see me?” She takes a seat next to Sue and faces her while she tells Quinn her big news. 

Sue? With child? Is that even possible? She doesn’t know what to say so she asks Sue, “are you serious?” so she can have some time to figure it out. There was a time where Sue was like a second mother to her. Quinn had just transferred to McKinley, she didn’t know anyone, and Sue had taken her under her wing saying she was ‘perfect Cheerio material.’ It was the Cheerios where she met Santana and Brittnay, and it was the Cheerios that she found a way to escape from her constantly fighting parents and her middle school trauma. 

But it was also Sue who confirmed to the entire student body that she was pregnant. It was also Sue who left her while she was at her weakest. It was Sue who was always forcing them to stay supermodel thin, forcing so many of those girls into unhealthy eating habits they will probably struggle with for the rest of their lives. 

She asks who the father is even though she knows Sue probably won’t tell her because she really doesn’t know what else to say, and telling Sue “that’s amazing, and confusing.” makes things a little awkward. 

She figures this is Sue’s way of asking her for advice, telling her about the constant nausea and hormones she is dealing with, even though Quinn thinks she was probably better off never knowing that information. 

She tells Sue that she ate saltines, drank herbal tea, and sucked on lollipops while she was pregnant to help deal with it. She gets an idea. She figured it was a long shot once she transformed back from Skank Quinn to Old Quinn because she’s left the Cheerios twice and ditched Sue’s video, but she takes the chance and asks Sue anyways because Sue asked her for advice, so that has to mean something. 

“I wanted to ask you a favour actually coach, I would love to rejoin the Cheerios.” She panics a little when Sue doesn’t say yes right away so she continues. “It’s my senior year, and I want to finish high school in a Cheerios uniform with a national championship. I mean other than Glee, this was the rest of my high school experience.” 

She understands where Sue is coming from, it is almost halfway through the year, but she always just thought that even though she’s quit and left the Cheerios so many times, she remained one of Sue’s favourites, but she guesses that she was wrong. 

\-----

They tell them all about Karofsky during the morning announcements, that they have hired extra counsellors trained to deal with these kinds of ‘situations’ and to head to Ms. Pillsbury’s office if anyone is interested, but Quinn doesn’t understand it. 

She has hit rock bottom more times than she can count, but she has never thought about doing that to herself. It’s selfish in her opinion, what about all the people that person is going to leave behind? 

\-----

They pray for Karofsky in their God Squad meeting and even though she doesn’t understand it entirely herself, she is willing to pray for his healing. But she also thinks they should be praying for his family as well, and that is what they should start the meeting with. 

“They could use the comfort more than he could.” She tells the rest of her members. She could never leave her mom alone like that. Yes the two of them have never had the best relationship, but she still wouldn’t be able to do it, they’re all each other have. 

She feels for Karofsky, she really does, but why couldn’t he just transfer then? Or shut down his social media? She doesn’t get why someone would want to do something so selfish. She knows she’s probably being cruel, but she cannot wrap her mind around it. 

“I went through the wringer, but I never got to that place.” 

“Quinn please. Sure, you had a baby when you were 16 and you had a bad dye job for two weeks, but seriously? The world never stopped loving you.” She’s hurt by Kurt’s words. If the world loved her then, then how come it took people so long to realize how much she was hurting on the inside? She doesn’t think she’s that much different than Karofsky. Of course their situations are clearly not comparable, but both of them suffered on the inside. 

“And you’re going to Yale. You have no idea what Karofsky was struggling with.” She was going to let Kurt have it because she knew he felt partially guilty for what happened to Karofsky, and because maybe she was being selfish herself, but to put her down because she has a different opinion than him? She might be one of Kurt’s close friends, but that’s not fair. 

“You really want to try to compare-” But Kurt doesn’t allow her to cut him off, he just continues as if she never said anything. 

“The despair, the self-loathing.” 

She doesn’t want to have this conversation with him because she knows they’re never going to see eye-to-eye. So she tells him, “it doesn’t matter. I just can’t imagine things getting some messed-up that you would consider taking your own life.” 

She thinks that will be it, Kurt got the first word so she gets the last, but he’s not satisfied, he continues going at her. “That is so harsh and reductive. Have some compassion.” 

Kurt tells him the students at his school are still tormenting Karofsky and she’s frustrated because that’s not what she meant. She didn’t want this to happen to him, yes they never spoke and Karofsky was cruel to all of them in Glee Club, but she wouldn’t wish this upon her worst enemy, she just doesn’t understand why someone would want to do that to themselves or their family. 

So she asks him, “why are you even here Kurt?” ignoring the way her voice breaks at the end because there is no way she will let him see how much his words affected her. “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

Joe tells them he allowed it and Quinn decides that if Kurt wants to pray with them, that’s fine, but she isn’t going to stick around for it after what he just said to her, so she picks up her bag and says “excuse me.” before walking out of the classroom. 

\-----

They have an emergency Glee Club meeting in the auditorium afterschool. She’s been avoiding everyone from Glee Club today, mostly those from the God Squad because she’s hurt. She’s tired of feeling like what she’s dealing with doesn’t matter. 

Both Sam and Mercedes had sent her text messages after asking her if she was okay and that Kurt hadn’t meant what he said, but she didn’t reply to them. Sam had even called her a couple of times, but she ignored him. Even Santana had sent her a message saying that Sam had said something was wrong, but she doesn’t care. She just wants to feel upset in peace. 

She sits beside Sam and Mercedes on the stage and luckily neither of them ask her about it. Mercedes just smiles at her and she smiles back, and Sam just takes her hand and squeezes it. She can feel Kurt looking at her, but she doesn’t look back. 

She laughs at Rory’s reaction to tasting peanut butter for the first time. She wishes that she had gotten this speech from Mr. Schue last year, or even at the beginning of this one. Before all the therapy and the fake tattoos that got people to finally realize ‘perfect barbie Quinn Fabray’ did not exist, she was just a mask. 

Although she has never thought of taking her own life, she wishes she had someone to remind her of all the good experiences and the possibility of a million more new ones. 

Sam goes first in telling everyone a big thing that he’s looking forward to, telling all of them he’s planning to buy a new house for his parents so they never have to worry about losing their home again. She grabs his hand off of his leg and squeezes it, not letting go afterwards. He smiles at her and she gives him a small smile back. She doesn’t care how it will look to everyone else, she’s his best friend and she’s going to comfort him through everything that hurts him. 

Even though it’s not as deep or emotional as some people’s answers, she shares that she’s looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of her class. 

\-----

Since they have home court advantage this year, their Glee Club is able to get ready in the choir room like how they had for Sectionals. 

Her and Tina find a corner near the back of the room to get each other ready. There isn’t much to do for hair this year because they’re all just wearing headbands and Quinn’s hair is too short to do anything special, but she still allows Tina to put the headband in her hair because it’s tradition. 

She does Tina’s makeup even though Tina is probably a lot better at eyeshadow than she is, Quinn’s specialty is lipstick but they all decided they’re probably better off not wearing any tonight, going for a more simple makeup look. 

Kurt comes over to them after they’ve finished and asks if he can talk to her, but she excuses herself saying she needs to go to the washroom quickly before they have to go to the auditorium. He sighs, clearly frustrated and calls after her, but she doesn’t turn around. She knows she’s being unfair, but she’s just not ready to forgive him yet. 

\-----

She takes a seat next to Mike when she meets the rest of them in the auditorium so she can avoid both Kurt and Sam, who keeps looking at her as if he’s trying to figure out if something’s wrong. 

\-----

They head back to the choir room to put some last touches on their outfits and makeup before they have to head on stage. 

Of course Rachel and Finn are planning to get married later on today. She had gone bridesmaid dress shopping with the rest of the Glee girls and Kurt two weeks ago because Rachel had invited her, but her and Rachel had gotten into a small argument because she still thinks that Rachel is throwing her life away. She had left the shop after Rachel had told her that until she supports her and Finn’s decision, she’s not invited to their wedding. She still found a bridesmaid dress sitting outside her door with a sticky note saying  _ in case you change your mind  _ later that day. 

She knows Rachel really wants her to go, and some part of her just tells her to shut up and go, it’s not like it’s her life that’s being ruined. But she cares about Rachel, Finn too sort of. And she doesn’t want to lie to her and pretend like she’s supportive of Rachel making this decision when she’s not. 

\-----

Sam is her dance partner for  _ Fly/I Believe I Can Fly.  _ They’re in the back so no one can hear him when he whispers in her ear “are you okay?” while he spins her. She nods her head slightly so the judges don’t notice, but he doesn’t look convinced. 

While she’s singing backup during Rachel’s solo of  _ Here’s To Us  _ she realizes there’s no point of her being so bitter and angry at everyone else anymore. While she’s hugging Tina and Brittnay she realizes life is too short to be mad forever, especially when she’s only really mad at herself. 

While she’s cheering and celebrating their win with the rest of the Glee Club in the choir room Mr. Schue tells her that Sue wants to see her.

She slips out of the choir room unnoticed and plays with her fingers nervously as she walks to Sue’s office. “Coach Sylvester?” she asks as soon as she arrives. 

She takes a seat in front of her, wondering what this could possibly be about. She’s overjoyed that Sue is allowing her to rejoin the Cheerios. Coach’s words really touch her and make her realize that her being so unsupportive of Rachel’s decision to get married is stupid, so as soon as she is done here she’s going to tell Rachel that she’ll be there. 

She doesn’t ask why Sue has kept her uniform after all the times she’s quit, she just tells her that she’s not going to regret it, she’s going to win them a national championship in that uniform. 

\-----

She puts on the uniform as soon as she leaves Sue’s office and feels pride as people part for her the way that they used to. Now she’ll finally get all the respect she used to have from the student body back. 

She sees Sam as soon as she exits the washroom, who does a double take and turns around as soon as he realizes that it’s her. “Woah, I’m getting major flashbacks right now.” 

She rolls her eyes and ignores his comment telling him, “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you at the wedding.” 

She gets butterflies from the way he smiles at her, responding back “see you Q.” 

\-----

She sees Blaine and Kurt as she walks down the hallway, thanking both Blaine and Kurt as if Kurt had complimented her too. She sees his eyes soften and decides they can talk things out at the wedding, she needs to speak with Rachel first. 

As soon as she sees Rachel exit the choir room she says to her, “hey, how do I look? Coach Sylvester gave it to me earlier, and I couldn’t resist.” 

She knows Rachel is still upset with her by the way that she responds back. She tells Rachel that she wants to support both Rachel and Finn and come to the wedding if it’s not too late, and by the way Rachel is smiling at her she can tell that it isn’t. 

Rachel hugs her, and she tells Rachel she will meet all of them there, she just has to head home and get her bridesmaids dress. 

\-----

She decides to do her makeup at home because it will probably save her more time, but she realizes she was probably better off getting Tina to help her once she got there because she’s now running late. 

She texts Rachel that she might be a few minutes late and runs quickly to her car. 

She gets a bunch of messages while she’s driving there, but hasn’t stopped at a red light yet so she can check them. 

But her phone keeps going off, so she grabs her phone and tries to quickly text Rachel back that she’s on her way, but before she can everything turns black.

____________________________________________________________________

**Aftermath of On My Way**

Santana gets a phone call before they all leave the room for Finn and Rachel’s wedding. She looks down at her phone confused, telling everyone it’s an unknown number and she’s going to quickly answer it. 

Sam checks his phone in the meantime seeing if Quinn has responded to any of his texts, like Rachel he texted her asking her where she was. Before he can properly check Santana starts screaming and crying. 

Brittany and Mercedes rush over to her to ask her what’s going on, and all she’s able to manage to get out is “Quinn” and “crash”. He feels his blood run cold, Quinn was in an accident? 

Most of the girls immediately start crying and Burt and Carole are rushing everyone out of the building so they can head to Lima Memorial Hospital. He’s frozen in his spot, and Kurt must notice because he grabs his arm and tells him that he can ride with him and Blaine. 

\------

He doesn’t remember most of the ride there, everything is sort of a blur. Judy is already there when the rest of them arrive, and she informs them Quinn was in a bad accident and she’s in surgery right now. Rachel and Finn’s parents pull her aside so they can comfort her and he feels Kurt pull him towards one of the waiting room chairs. 

They look so out of place, the guys in their suits and the girls in their bridesmaids dresses, some of them still with their flower bouquets. Rachel still has her dress and veil on. 

“Sam?” Kurt asks while shaking his shoulder. 

Sam looks over at him confused and asks “huh?” 

“I called your name about five times,” Kurt says while chuckling. “I asked if you were okay.” He feels kind of guilty for not realizing he zoned out. 

He doesn’t know how he feels. He can’t imagine his life without Quinn, and for so long he thought it was because she was his best friend, but now he can’t help but wonder, is it something more? 

But then what about his whole thing with Mercedes? Why would he fight so hard for Mercedes if he still loved Quinn? And Quinn had sort of asked him for a second chance the first day he transferred and he rejected her, why would he do that if he still had feelings for her?

He shrugs his shoulders and tells Kurt honestly, “I don’t know how I feel.” 

He hasn’t looked up at Kurt, choosing to stare at one of the floor tiles because he knows if he looks up, he’ll probably break down and that won’t do any good for anyone, so he jumps a little when Kurt lays a hand on his shoulder and tells him, “that’s understandable, the two of you had a special bond.” 

Sam furrows his eyebrows confused. Special Bond? Does Kurt know something he doesn’t? Before he can ask him what he means a doctor comes out asking for the family of Lucy Fabray. 

He’s confused before he realizes that her drivers license has her first name as Lucy, they’re not going to know she goes as Quinn. 

They all look up, but he only talks to Judy and the parents quietly to the side. He looks at them the entire time, trying to see if he can make out any of the words the doctor is saying. 

Judy breaks down crying and he stops breathing. Carole takes her away, probably to go comfort her and he thinks  _ screw it, I need to know what’s going on.  _ He walks up to Burt and asks him what’s going on. 

Burt shakes his head and tells him Judy will tell them when she’s ready. He thinks it’s bullshit, he’s her best friend, he deserves to know how she’s doing. So he tells Burt just that. 

“I’m her best friend! I deserve to know how she’s doing.” He doesn’t know why he’s so mad, why he’s shouting at Burt when he didn’t do anything to him, but he’s angry. He just wants to know if she’s okay, why won’t they just tell him that much? 

He tries to push his way towards her room, but Mike and Finn hold him back. Kurt tries to grab his arm telling him, “not here Sam, let’s go sit down.” But he just pushes him off, sitting down on the floor fuming. 

Eventually Santana comes and sits next to him. Neither of them say anything to each other for a while, but then Santana finally breaks the silence. “I shouldn't have done what I did last year.” It confuses him because Santana did a lot of stuff she probably shouldn’t have done last year, so which decision is she talking about? “I shouldn't have come between the two of you like that. I don’t even know why I did it, I was in love with Brittnay and Quinn was happy, the happiest she was in a long time and I ruined it for her. I don’t even remember why I did it, it’s all so stupid now.” He doesn’t know what to say to that because it was Sam’s choice to leave. He loved Quinn, but even if Santana wasn’t the one who told him she cheated, he still would have broken up with her. He wishes she would have told him herself, maybe then they would have been able to make it work. I should have treated her better.” 

He looks at her, but she isn’t looking at him. She’s looking straight ahead with tears streaming down her face. He isn’t really good at comforting other people when he’s also upset, so he just grabs her hand because that always seems to comfort Quinn. 

“We used to be attached at the hip, the two of us, and I just can’t figure out where things started to go wrong. When we went from turning on everyone else, to turning on each other.”

Sam doesn’t know what to tell her because Santana isn’t exactly wrong. Each time Santana did something to screw her over last year, Quinn would complain to him, asking him for his opinion on possible ideas for revenge. But he also knows that even though at times Quinn hated Santana, she would have done anything for her. 

“She loved you.” He knows it’s not much, but it is the truth. 

Quinn has always been a picture person, she loves taking pictures with people. He finds it ironic because she hated whenever he would try and take pictures of just her. She would freak out and tell him to delete them. He asked her about it once, her obsession with taking photos with her friends, and she had laughed and told him “for the memories Sammy!” 

He’s only been in Quinn’s room once, to help her rearrange everything because she was sick of the way her room looked. She had pictures of her friends scattered around her room everywhere. A couple of her with the Glee Club from her pregnancy days, a couple of her with Kurt and Mercedes, even some with him. But there had been a ton of her with Brittnay and Santana, and so much more of just her and Santana, put into different friend and cheerleading themed frames. 

Santana pulls him out of his thoughts when she tells him, “I loved her too, I just wish I told her more.” 

He thinks that’s a thought that’s on everyone’s mind right now.

\-----

When Judy comes back he immediately stands up, which catches Santana’s attention. As soon as she notices she stands up as well. Burt gives him a look telling him not to do anything stupid with Judy back. 

She clears her throat and wipes her eyes with a tissue before telling everyone Quinn had made it through surgery, but she had complications causing her to fall into a coma. 

He hears Rachel start sobbing from somewhere in the waiting room and Brittnay ask someone what coma means. She feels someone grab his hand and turns around to see Santana looking at him with tears running down her face, smiling at him and telling him she’s going to be fine, she’s stubborn. He thinks she’s trying to convince herself more than him, but he nods anyway. 

Judy also tells them that she appreciates them all staying here, but only family can stay overnight and they are all free to come back tomorrow. 

He hadn’t realized so much time had passed, he just assumed the world would stop moving if Quinn wasn’t a part of it. 

He follows Finn into Burt’s car. Burt tries to make small talk with them on the ride home, but no one is really interested in talking. 

\-----

He does his nightly Facetime call with his family, telling them about Quinn and promises he’ll send updates as soon as he gets them. 

He tries to go to bed early, since there isn’t much he feels like doing, but he can’t sleep. Watching tv or going on his phone just makes him upset so he wanders upstairs to find Kurt sitting on the couch. 

He doesn’t say anything to Sam when he sees him, just pats the spot next to him. 

“I hate that the last thing she thinks I said to her was that I didn’t think her pain or problems were important.” He doesn’t know what he can say to Kurt to make him feel better because yeah, that was a little harsh and if he thought so, he knows Quinn definitely did. 

“She knows you were just hurting.” 

Kurt shakes his head. “I should have realized that she was probably hurting too.” They sit in silence for a while, neither of them really knowing what to say. 

“You were always so good to her.” That catches him by surprise, he looks at Kurt with a puzzled expression and he chuckles at him. “I know she was glad she had you, how you would always look out for her. She was grateful for you Sam.” 

“Is.” Sam snaps at him because he’s tired of everyone talking about her in the past tense, she’s still here. She’s going to wake up.

“I think I still love her.” Kurt snaps his head up to look at him and he sighs and puts his head in his hands. “I don’t know if I just feel this way because of what’s happening or I’m genuinely not over her. I just can’t imagine my life without her Kurt.” 

“I think you’re still in love with her.” He’s shocked, he was expecting Kurt to tell him that he thinks he’s just emotional with everything that’s going on right now, or that he’s just confused. He wasn’t expecting him to tell him that he thinks he was right. 

“Then what was that whole thing with Mercedes?” He’s hoping Kurt will have some sort of explanation for that because he doesn’t. 

“I think you were scared of getting your heart broken again, so you chose someone who you didn’t think would hurt your heart, but she did anyway. I don’t think you fought so hard for Mercedes because you wanted to be with her, but because you were trying to convince yourself she was who you wanted, not someone else.” 

It makes sense, a lot more sense than it probably should. But it doesn’t matter now, she has her heart set on someone else. “It doesn’t matter, she won’t want me back. She’s into someone else, she told me that herself.” 

Kurt laughs and Sam looks at him confused. “Oh Sam, think about who she could possibly be talking about.” Kurt tells him before heading upstairs, wishing him goodnight. 

He spends the entire night thinking who Kurt was talking about, but doesn’t come up with anything. 

\------

Finn drives himself, Sam, and Kurt to the hospital the next morning. They have to pick up Rachel and Blaine on the way there so by the time they get there, some of the others have already arrived. They find Tina, Mike, and Artie in the parking lot. Santana, Brittany, Mercedes and Rory are already in the waiting room with coffees for those who want one. He’s confused why Rory is there so early, but then he remembers Rory is staying with Brittnay. 

Judy tells them all that the doctors don’t expect her to wake up for a couple of days, but they all stay anyway, feeling better staying together than apart. 

They’re allowed to visit her today in pairs since the maximum amount of people allowed in her room at once is two. They all decide Santana and Brittnay should go first, and then allow Rachel and Finn to go since Rachel looks like she’s about to burst. By the time Rachel and Finn exit everyone else from Glee Club has arrived, Joe too which confuses Sam because he didn’t realize the two of them were friends. 

The group decides Sam should go next. He’s not surprised, him and Quinn are best friends, he’s just not prepared. Kurt must notice his hesitation because he offers to go with him. 

He knows the doctor said she was in bad shape, but he just wasn’t expecting it to be this bad. She has a bandage wrapped around her head, with cuts and scrapes across her face. There’s a giant bruise on her left arm where the truck hit her. 

Kurt asks him if he wants to talk to her first and he shakes his head, he’s still trying to process everything. He stays standing by the door as Kurt goes and sits in the chair beside her bed. 

Kurt makes jokes with her, saying she needs to wake up as soon as possible because the two of them are overdue for a shopping trip. He looks up when he hears Kurt break down. 

“Oh Quinn I’m so sorry, wake up so I can tell you how sorry I am.” He bites his lip unsure of what to do, whether he should go comfort Kurt or just let him cry it out. He supposes comforting him a bit can’t hurt, so he walks up to him and lays a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey Q.” He says, unsure of whether or not she can actually hear him, but figures there’s no harm in talking to her like she can. “I miss you. Stacy keeps asking when you’re gonna be on Facetime again.” He looks down at Kurt who is still sobbing silently. “You gotta wake up soon Q, a lot of people need you. I’m one of them.” His voice breaks and he leaves the room before she can notice he’s crying. If she can hear him, he doesn’t want her to hear him like this. 

Kurt follows him out of the room and sits next to him in one of the waiting room chairs. “It’s okay if you’re sad Sam, you’re allowed to cry.” 

He shrugs. “I want to be strong for her.” 

Kurt rolls his eyes. “I think she would understand if her being in a coma made you cry.” He doesn’t tell Kurt the real reason why he refuses to cry. Crying means there’s something to be upset over, and there isn’t because Quinn’s going to be fine. And if he starts crying, he’s afraid he’ll never stop. 

\-----

He kind of forgets he has to go to school the next day. He assumes he looks like a zombie the entire day because people keep walking up to him and asking him if he’s doing okay. He sits alone in the library at the table they usually study at lunch on Thursday’s even though it’s Monday because it reminds him of her. 

He almost waits for her when the bell rings, signaling the end of his Astrology class, until he reminds she won’t be coming out because she’s not here. 

Mr. Schue dedicates this week's assignment to her, letting them know they are all free to sing whatever reminds them of her. Santana and Brittnay get up immediately after which surprises him because he doesn’t remember seeing anything about the assignment over the weekend. How did they have time to prepare a number so quickly? 

As Brittnay grabs two stools Santana tells them all that her and Brittnay didn’t know what to do with all the extra time they had and doing their regular activities without Quinn just didn’t seem right. 

“When Quinn had first started at McKinley, she was a lot more religious than she is now. But then she met me and of course everything changed.” They all chuckle and Brittnay smiles and sheds a tear, reaching over to grab Santana’s hand. “She was always listening to these Christian bands her parents liked, so we introduced her to Avril Lavigne. So in the spirit of that, here is an Avril Lavinge song for our girl Q. 

Brittany immediately starts crying as soon as the two of them start singing, and he can tell that Santana is about too but is trying her hardest to keep everything in. He doesn’t recognize the song, but he knows Quinn would probably appreciate it. 

_ I can be tough, I can be strong _

_ But with you, it’s not like that at all _

_ There’s a girl that gives a shit _

_ Behind this wall, you just walk through it _

_ And I remember all those crazy things you said _

_ You left them running through my head  _

_ You’re always there, you’re everywhere _

_ But right now, I wish you were here _

_ All those crazy things we did _

_ Didn’t think about it, just went with it _

_ You’re always there, you’re everywhere _

_ But right now, I wish you were here _

_ Damn, damn, damn _

_ What I’d do to have you here, here, here _

_ I wish you were here _

_ I love the way you are  _

_ It’s who I am, don’t have to try hard  _

_ We always say, say it like it is _

_ And the truth is I miss  _

_ All those crazy things you said _

_ You left them running through my head  _

_ You’re always there, you’re everywhere _

_ But right now, I wish you were here _

_ All those crazy things we did _

_ Didn’t think about it, just went with it _

_ You’re always there, you’re everywhere _

_ But right now, I wish you were here _

_ Damn, damn, damn _

_ What I’d do to have you here, here, here _

_ I wish you were here _

_ No, I don’t wanna let go _

_ I just wanna let you know _

_ That I never wanna let go _

_ Damn, damn, damn _

_ What I’d do to have you here, here, here _

_ I wish you were here _

There is slight applaus after they finish. Sam doesn’t know he brings his hands up to clap, but he does. He feels numb, the only thing getting him through the day is knowing that as soon as Glee Club rehearsal is over he can get into his truck and go see Quinn. 

\-----

He’s on his feet and out the door before Mr. Schue can properly dismiss them. He goes well over the speed limit while trying to get there, but he doesn’t care. He parks in his usual area and jogs down the hallways to her room. 

He doesn’t see Judy anywhere so he peers into the window beside the door to see if Judy’s inside. When he doesn’t see her he enters. 

She looks so peaceful. His hands start to shake a little once he sees they have added a breathing tube. He’s been hopeful this entire time, but knowing she can’t breathe on her own? He’s not going to lie, it scares him a little bit. 

He goes and sits in the chair beside her bed and moves some hairs that have fallen onto her forehead. He doesn’t know what to do with his shaking hands, so he grabs her hand closest to his. 

“Hey Q. I don’t know if you can actually hear me or not. The doctors keep telling us that you can, but it makes me feel a little silly. School was boring without you today. Mr. Schue dedicated this week's assignment to you. I could practically hear your reaction, ‘I’ve been in that club for three years and got about two solos and now that I’m in a coma I get an entire week.’ Brittany and Santana sang some Avril Lavigne song today, they’ll probably tell you about it when they come to visit. I want to do a song, but I don’t know which one. You always helped me choose them. Wake up soon because I need your help, I can’t do this without you Quinn.” 

He feels the teardrops hit his hands before he even notices that he’s started crying. He curses and says goodbye to Quinn, telling her he’ll be back tomorrow. He doesn’t get a response. 

He leaves the room before he can start crying. He refuses to cry, he has to be strong for her. 

When he leaves the room he finds Rachel and Finn about to enter. He’s sure his face matches their confused expressions. What are they doing here? Quinn and Rachel just started getting close, and to the best of his knowledge Quinn was still on shaky terms with Quinn. But before he can ask them, Finn beats him to it.

“What are you doing here?” 

What is  _ he  _ doing here? He was her best friend. Regardless of what the two of them did to each other, they were always best friends. They cared about each other, they didn’t mean to hurt each other. Finn and Rachel were always trying to purposely hurt her. He pretty much left her for Rachel twice, and don’t even get him started on Rachel. And Finn has the audacity to ask him what  _ he’s  _ doing here? He must be kidding. 

“I’m her best friend.” 

“Oh.” He refrains himself from rolling his eyes at Finn. Finn has always lived in his own little world, not really caring about the rest of their lives and what’s happening in them unless they tell him, but is Finn really that oblivious? He and Quinn are practically always together, Finn has never seen them once?

Rachel looks like she already knows that, but he can’t read Finn’s expression and it kind of irritates him. He doesn’t really have anything against Finn. They cleared up the whole rumor thing last year while he was living in the motel, and Finn was really good to him after, giving him clothes and stuff. And he and Rachel had gone all that way to find him in Kentucky and bring him back to Lima, even allowing him to stay at his place, but the thing that bugs him about Finn is the way that he treats Quinn, or girls in general. 

He’ll admit what Quinn did to Finn two years ago was kind of messed up, but Finn was no saint either. He knows Finn cheated on Quinn with Rachel too. And he had left her for Rachel again before Nationals last year. Not to mention he outed Santana, and called Brittnay stupid meanwhile his best friend Puck is no Einstien. 

Maybe it’s because he was raised to always raise women properly, but Sam doesn’t really see the hype about Finn, why everyone thinks he’s this great leader. He knows there are probably members who are worse in that Glee Club, but for a co-captain? He doesn’t see how he fits the criteria.

But he doesn’t say any of this to Finn, just pushes past him and heads out of the hospital. 

\-----

He curses and chucks his English book across the kitchen table. He hasn’t been able to get any work done due to his dyslexia acting up, and it’s not like he can call Quinn and ask her to help. 

He groans and drops his hands into his arms, jumping when he hears Kurt ask him “what’s wrong?” 

“Dyslexia.” He grumbles out, but it just comes out muffled due to the fact that his head is still dropped on the table. 

“Here I’ll help.” He’s a little embarrassed he needs help at all, Quinn told him to never worry about it, she needed something else to do since she didn’t have Cheerios practice anymore so he’s grown to be comfortable with her, he doesn’t know how he feels about Kurt. 

He should have suspected that Kurt would have been nothing short of awesome. He doesn’t grow impatient or frustrated with Sam, helping him calm down when Sam himself gets frustrated and wants to throw in the towel. He thanks Kurt once he gets all his homework done. 

He expects Kurt to leave after that, but to his surprise he stays seated beside him at the table. “Do you know what song you’re going to sing?” 

He shrugs in response to Kurt’s question. It’s not that he doesn’t know which one, it’s that he hasn’t even started looking. It feels wrong choosing a song without Quinn’s opinions, and if he’s being honest? He’s kind of afraid of what everything else is going to think. 

“She would always help me pick a song.” Kurt looks over at him and smiles, and for some reason it urges Sam to continue. “Obviously not  _ Red Solo Cup  _ because she didn’t even know that I was coming back, and she says she hates country but I don’t believe her because she knows all of the words to the songs I play in the car. We picked  _ Lucky  _ together, and of course Mr. Schue assigned us our Sectionals song last year, but she helped me pick  _ Hero  _ for Latin week. It feels wrong choosing a song without her, and I don’t know what everyone else is going to think.” 

Kurt looks at him puzzled. “What do you mean ‘what everyone else is going to think’?” 

“I mean, I don’t even know how I feel about her yet. And I don’t want the song I pick to convey that I feel a certain way about her when I haven’t even figured it out myself yet. You know how people in that club are, and I just don’t want to have to deal with their millions of questions when I don’t have any answers.” 

“Want to know what I think?” He values Kurt’s opinion, and he’s so freakishly similar to Quinn so he doesn’t mind Kurt putting his two cents in. “I think you’re overthinking it. Maybe because you’re scared or maybe for another reason. But don’t think about the rest of them. Even when you’re performing, just picture her.” 

It is a good idea, so he thanks Kurt and heads to his room so he can start researching some songs. 

\-----

The next day is a little better. His brain has sort of processed not to wait for Quinn in the places that he usually would. He sits next to Santana during Glee rehearsal because he knows she won’t ask him how he’s doing. He appreciates everyone’s concern, but he doesn’t know how he’s feeling. And everyone constantly asking him makes him feel like he’s suffocating. 

Once Mr. Schue asks who wants to go first today, Kurt raises his hand. Sam is taken back because Kurt never mentioned to him he already had a song prepared. 

He watches Kurt stand in front of them. “If you told me two years ago that head Cheerio Quinn Fabray would become one of my best friends, I would have laughed in your face.” Sam chuckles at that. “But once you truly get to know Quinn, you come to learn she is one of the most caring people you will meet. For so long I didn’t think I would meet anyone who liked Taylor Swift as much I did, but then I found Quinn. So Quinn, this one’s for you.” 

_ Friday night beneath the stars  _

_ In a field behind your yard _

_ You and I are painting pictures in the sky _

_ Sometimes we don’t say a thing _

_ Just listen to the crickets sing _

_ Everything I need is right here by my side _

_ And I know everything about you _

_ I don’t wanna live without you  _

_ I’m only up when you’re not down _

_ Don’t wanna fly if you’re still on the ground _

_ It’s like no matter what I do _

_ Well, you drive me crazy half the time _

_ The other half I’m only trying _

_ To let you know that what I feel is true _

_ And I’m only me when I’m with you  _

_ Just a small-town boy and girl  _

_ Living in the crazy world _

_ Trying to figure out what is and isn’t true _

_ And I don’t try to hide my tears _

_ My secrets or my deepest fears _

_ Through it all nobody gets me like you do  _

_ And you know everything about me _

_ You say that you can’t live without me  _

_ I’m only up when you’re not down _

_ Don’t wanna fly if you’re still on the ground _

_ It’s like no matter what I do _

_ Well, you drive me crazy half the time _

_ The other half I’m only trying _

_ To let you know that what I feel is true _

_ And I’m only me when I’m with you  _

_ When I’m with anybody else _

_ It’s so hard to be myself _ _   
_ _ And only you can tell  _

  
  


_ I’m only up when you’re not down _

_ Don’t wanna fly if you’re still on the ground _

_ It’s like no matter what I do _

_ Well, you drive me crazy half the time _

_ The other half I’m only trying _

_ To let you know that what I feel is true _

_ And I’m only me when I’m with you  _

He claps along with everyone else when Kurt finishes. He zones out during everyone else’s performances. He thinks Mercedes sings a Destiny’s Child number and for some reason Rachel sings  _ Unwritten  _ by Natasha Bedingfield and no one really understands why or how it relates to Quinn, but Rachel still cries throughout the performance. 

\-----

He doesn’t expect anyone to be in Quinn’s room when he gets there, so he’s a little startled when he sees Judy typing away on her computer beside Quinn’s bed. She looks just as surprised to see him.

“Oh Sam. I didn’t realize you and Quinn were,” she trials off awkwardly and he clears his throat to try and take away some of the tension, but it doesn’t work. 

“Oh uh no, we’re just best friends.” He says just as awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. She nods as if she understands even though he can clearly tell that she doesn’t and gets up. “No Ms. Fabray you don’t have to leave, I can come back later.” 

She shakes her head and lays a hand on his arm. “It’s okay, I’ve been here all day, and I need to get something from the office anyway, you watch her now for me.” 

He nods his head and watches her leave the room, and then takes a seat next to Quinn’s bed, grabbing her hand just like he did yesterday.

“Hey Quinn. I kind of need you to wake up because my grades are starting to take a serious beating, although Kurt did help me with English yesterday. I picked a song to sing for this week’s assignment, but you’re going to need to wake up if you want to know what it is.” He pauses and waits for her to answer, she doesn’t. “Stace drew you a picture, I’ll bring it to you on Monday since I’m going to visit them this weekend.”  _ Hopefully you’ll be awake by then  _ he thinks to himself. 

He talks to her for another hour, and then leaves as soon as Quinn’s mom comes back. 

He crashes as soon as he gets back to the Hudson-Hummels. 

\-----

He wakes up the next day nauseous. He knows he isn’t the best performer, but Sam has never been this anxious for a performance before. He spends the majority of his History class in the bathroom because he seriously thinks he’s going to throw up, but he doesn’t. Before he knows it, it’s time for Glee club. 

He grabs his guitar and sits on a stool at the front while everyone is trickling in. Mr. Schue looks a little surprised to see him already set up and ready to go, but tells him the floor is his as soon as everyone settles in. 

He doesn’t have a speech prepared like everyone else because he wants what they have to be just theirs. Everyone already knows the two of them have a special bond, he doesn’t need to explain it to them, so he just nods at the band to start and begins strumming the first few chords. 

_ Tell me that you’ll turn down the man _

_ Who asks for your hand _

_ ‘Cause you’re waiting for me _

_ And I know, you’re gonna be away a while  _

_ But I’ve got no plans at all to leaved  _

_ And would you take away my hopes and dreams?  _ _   
_ _ And just stay with me _

_ All my senses come to life _

_ While I’m stumbling home as drunk as I  _

_ Have ever been and I’ll never leave again  _

_ ‘Cause you are the one  _

_ And all my friends have gone to find _

_ Another place to let their hearts collide _

_ Just promise me, you’ll never leave again  _

_ ‘Cause you are the only one _

_ Take my hand and my  _

_ Heart and soul, I will  _

_ Only have these eyes for you  _

_ And you know, everything changes but _

_ We’ll be strangers if, we see this through  _

_ You could stay within these walls and bleed  _

_ Or just stay with me, oh Lord now _

_ All my sense come to life _

_ While I’m stumbling home as drunk as I  _

_ Have ever been and I’ll never leave again  _

_ ‘Cause you are the only one _

_ And all my friends have gone to find _

_ Another place to let their hearts collide _

_ Just promise me, you’ll always be a friend  _

_ ‘Cause you are the only one _

_ Stumbling half drunk, getting myself lost  _

_ I am so gone, so tell me the way home _

_ I listen to sad songs, singing about love _

_ And where it goes wrong _

_ All my sense come to life _

_ While I’m stumbling home as drunk as I  _

_ Have ever been and I’ll never leave again  _

_ ‘Cause you are the only one _

_ And all my friends have gone to find _

_ Another place to let their hearts collide _

_ Just promise me, you’ll always be a friend  _

_ ‘Cause you are the only one _

He gets scattered applause once he’s finished. He doesn’t blame them, they’re probably all confused. He pretty much just confessed that he still has feelings for Quinn despite chasing after Mercedes for half the year. He doesn’t quite get it himself if he’s being honest. 

He gets smiles from Santana and Kurt afterwards and it all clicks. The guy Quinn was talking about, everything Kurt and Santana have been saying. It’s all about  _ him.  _ That’s why she had always looked so uninterested whenever he talked about Mercedes, always telling him he would be better off just moving on. That’s why she wouldn’t tell him who was into, or why she would always reject those airhead jocks that were always asking her out. And the song she sang on Valentine’s day, she was trying to show him it was all for him. 

So he decides he’s going to tell her how he feels after Glee is over and he can go to the hospital whether she’s awake or not. 

\------

When he gets there, she’s awake. He almost can’t believe it, he thinks he’s hallucinating because he hasn’t gotten any sleep ever since her accident, but Judy tells him it’s really her and she’s been asking about him. 

He’s never really had an out of body experience, but he assumes this is what people are talking about while he enters her room. She’s sitting up in her bed on her phone when he enters, but she puts it down as soon as he enters. 

Her eyes are red and puffy, and his heart races because he knows that means something is wrong. He doesn’t question her about it though, just sits in the chair next to her bed. If she wants to tell him about it, she will. 

“Hey stranger.” she says, smiling. Her bruises are slowly fading, and they have taken off the bandage wrapped around her head. He tries not to flinch when he sees the giant cut that takes its place. 

He smiles at her because he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to start, does he just outright say  _ hey Quinn, I know you almost died but I love you.  _ He doesn’t notice his hands are shaking until she grabs them and holds them in hers. “Are you nervous to see me?” She asks him while slightly laughing. 

“Fuck Quinn you have no idea how scared I was.” The smile is wiped off her face and he panics thinking he must have said something wrong.  _ Of course she doesn’t want to be reminded that she nearly died, you idiot.  _ “Shit Q, I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking I-” 

“No it’s okay, it’s not that.” He’s confused, then what is it? He hopes she tells him because he’s lost right now but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable by asking. “I woke up and I couldn’t feel my legs.” His heart skins, he isn’t the best at biology, but he is an athlete, and he has a pretty good idea of what that could mean. He waits to see if she’s going to continue or not, but she just looks down. 

“So you’re..?” He trails off because he knows saying the word out loud will just end up breaking both of their hearts. 

She nods and starts crying. “I really thought I had a shot of making it out of here.” His heart breaks for her. He doesn’t mind Lima. He’s always liked Tennessee better because that’s where all his family is, but Lima is a nice small town. But it’s hard to make something out of yourself here. He knows Quinn is destined for all these amazing things, but he won’t lie to her and tell her that she can also find them here when they both know she can’t. 

“What did the doctor say? Is it permanent?” He feels shitty for pressuring her to talk about it when it’s clearly making her upset, but he can’t help her or comfort her if he doesn’t have the full story. 

“They don’t know.” She tells him while sniffling, trying to wipe at her tears that keep streaming down her face. “It’s too early to say, they think if I do physical therapy I could have a chance at walking again.” 

“Well that’s good!” He knows her, how she’s not going to think it’s much. She always assumes the worst because she’s been given the worst. She lost her sense of hope a long time ago. 

“I kind of don’t want to talk about it anymore if that’s okay. Tell me about everything I’ve missed.” 

“Well Mr. Schue dedicated this week’s assignment to you. We could perform a song for you if we wanted too.” He catches her blush even though he knows she’s trying to play it off, despite popular belief, Quinn hates attention. She loves knowing she’s being intimidating, but if it’s anything other than that she usually gets embarrassed. “A couple of people sang songs. Brittany and Santana sang some Avril Lavigne song that I didn’t recognize.” Something flashes across her face. 

“I remember that.” He’s confused. How can she remember that if she wasn’t there? “They came to the hospital after Cheerios practice that day and told me about it. I could hear you guys while I was in the coma, but I just thought I was dreaming or something.” She turns her head and points at him. “You! You told me I needed to wake up in order for you to tell me what song you were going to perform, which one did you choose?” 

He scratches the back of his neck because he’s nervous. He wasn’t expecting her to remember that part, and even if she did he wasnt expecting her to ask him about it. If he tells her his song he’s pretty much telling her how he feels about her. He can’t even hope that she doesn’t know the song because he knows she does, he knows how much she loves Ed Sheeran, that’s partly why he chose a song of his to sing.

But he thinks to himself,  _ screw it. Life is too short to always overthink things.  _ So he tells her. “I sang  _ One  _ by Ed Sheeran.” 

He watches her face the entire time, trying to catch any changes in her expressions. He knows Quinn likes to think she’s hard to read, but he knows her better than anyone else does. He can always tell what she’s thinking. She watches as the recognition spills across her face, she’s trying to understand why he would choose to sing a song with that meaning and dedicate it to her. 

“Isn’t that a love song?” He’s not going to confirm anything just yet, he needs some answers of his own first. 

“That song you sang at Sugar’s Valentine’s day party, was it for me?” She looks surprised at his quick change of the subject, but she also nods her head shyly, dropping it slightly so she doesn’t have to look at him. But he wants her to see what he’s getting at, and she can only do that if she’s looking at him in the eyes, so he puts two fingers under her chin and lifts her head up so she can look at him. “And that guy you were talking about, the one you’re into, it was me wasn’t it?” 

She sighs and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sam,” she says without saying anything else after. He should have known better. Quinn doesn’t say how she feels until she knows it is safe to do so. She’s not going to risk getting rejected. 

“I think I love you.” Her eyes widen and his heart is racing, but screw it. They’ve been chasing circles around each other for far too long. “When I found out about your accident, I didn’t know what to do. I was like a zombie without you, I would have done anything to trade places with you.” She opens her mouth to say something, but she shakes his head to tell her he’s not finished. “And I hate that it took this to happen for me to realize how I don’t want Santana or Mercedes or any other girl, I just want you.” She smiles at him and places her palm over his cheek, and he slightly moves into it. “Kurt actually helped me realize it.” He tells her while chuckling. “That I fought so hard to be with Mercedes not because I wanted to be with her, but because I was trying to convince myself that I still didn’t love you. It was a good distraction from how I felt about you, but once Mercedes broke things off between us I was forced to face my feelings. And that song I sang on Valentine’s day at Breadstix, it was about you no matter how badly I tried to tell myself it wasn’t.” He wipes a stray tear that has fallen from her face. “You’re my first love, and I just thought that I was always going to love you because of that, but I realize now it’s so much more than that.” 

She doesn’t say anything to him, just leans forward and kisses him. And it feels amazing, it feels like everything wrong in his life has been solved by this one kiss. He doesn’t know why he waited so long because kissing Quinn is seriously his favourite thing to do on this planet. 

They spring apart when her door opens and Brittnay runs up to Quinn screaming. “Quinn you’re awake!” Sam flinches as she squeezes Quinn and hears Santana scold Brittnay to be gentle. 

He figures this is his cue to leave and tells Quinn he’ll come by tomorrow and they can talk more then. He doesn’t miss Santana’s smirk as he leaves the room, but he chooses to ignore it.

\-----

She is so incredibly bored. Her mom has returned back to work now that she’s awake, so Quinn has nothing to occupy herself while everyone else is at school. Rachel was kind enough to gather all her missed work for her so she attempted to do that, but all it did was make her head hurt. 

She’s kind of surprised at how everyone has been treating her. Rachel had sobbed and blamed herself for the accident and she had been seriously afraid that the brunette was going to start hyperventilating. Tina had also cried when her and Mike had their turn with her, telling Quinn getting ready without her just hadn’t been the same. She caught up with everyone else, and told Artie she would consider his offer to help her with her wheelchair. 

The person that had really surprised her was Joe. He had come in with Mercedes and told her things had not been the same without her, which seriously surprised her because she swears they had only ever had two conversations. 

The person that she has been missing is Kurt. Blaine had told her that Kurt didn’t know what to say because he felt awful about what he said to her, but Quinn doesn’t care about any of that. She misses one of her closest friends. 

She gets a knock on the door and waits, assuming it’s one of the nurses doing their routine checks on her vitals and all that. When no one opens the door she frowns confused. “Come in.” 

She sees Kurt pop his head in and she breaks out into a grin. “Kurt!” He breaks into tears and she giggles. “Oh Kurt, come here.” 

She opens her arms up for him and he goes in to hug her. “Quinn you have no idea how sorry I am.” 

She shakes her head once he goes to sit in the chair beside her bed. “Stop. I forgive you Kurt, I know you were just feeling badly about Karofsky.” He tries to interrupt her but she raises her hand. “Nope, that’s all in the past. Now is all about the present and the future. I am tired of living in the past.” 

Kurt nods and wipes away his remaining tears with a handkerchief and sniffles loudly making Quinn giggle. “Wait does that mean for a certain blonde headed boy then?”

She blushes and Kurt’s jaw drops. “Quinn Fabray you better tell me all the details right now.” 

She shrugs like it’s not a big deal and tells him everything. “He came yesterday and told me about the song he sang in Glee club and I was confused because it was a love song. Then he asked me about the song I sang at Sugar’s Valentine’s day party and the guy I was into and I confirmed both were about him. Then he told me about the conversation the two of you had. That you thought he was just with Mercedes because he was trying to convince himself he didn’t still want me.” By the time she’s finished her face hurts from smiling so wide, but she doesn’t care. And it looks like Kurt is having the same problem.

“Quinn that’s awesome, I am so happy for you.” She bites her lip nervously and Kurt asks her what’s wrong. “It’s just, I’m going to Yale Kurt. And as much as I love Sam, I’m also a realistic person. I know long distance won’t work.” She quickly adds in  _ for us  _ because she remembers Kurt is planning to go to New York and Blaine also has to complete his senior year. 

Kurt nods and tells her. “You should tell him how you feel Quinn. I know you’re probably scared as to how he’s going to react, but that boy adores you.” 

\-----

He skips his last class the next day because he’s too excited to see Quinn and he doesn’t need to worry about Glee rehearsal afterschool since Mr. Schue switched it to lunch so they could all go visit Quinn. 

But he realizes that he wasn’t the only one who had the same idea as he sees Kurt sitting in her room. 

They both look up when he enters and Kurt smiles at him. He turns to Quinn and tells her, “I’ll catch up with you later, I have to go pick up Blaine.” 

She nods and Kurt gives him another smile as he passes by him while leaving her room. 

He kisses her forehead before he sits down even though they haven’t really established what they are yet. She smiles at him, but he can tell something is up. 

“What’s wrong?” He’s terrified. Was she wrong about how she feels about him, she doesn’t actually love him? 

“Sam I-” She cuts herself off and bites her bottom lip. He can tell she’s really nervous and it’s making him worried. 

“Whatever it is Quinn, you can tell me.” 

“I’m going to Yale.” Now he’s confused. Does she also have amnesia? He knows she’s going to Yale. “And you’re staying here.” Ah, now he gets it. She doesn’t want to do the long distance. He’s disappointed, but he tries not to show it. Does this mean she doesn’t want to be with him? 

“I’ll be at Yale and you’ll be here completing your senior year. And I love you Sam, but we both know long distance won’t work. And the last thing I want is for us to turn on each other and for things to turn ugly.” He assumes she can see the disappointment on his face because she grabs his hand. “I believe in us Sam. I know that we’re going to figure things out and come out together in the end, but we just need to get through this part first.” 

“So what does that mean for us now then?” He understands what she’s saying, and it probably will be better for the two of them if they just wait and figure things out until he graduates. 

“I don’t know. I guess we can just take it day by day? I just don’t want us to break each other's hearts again.” Her voice breaks and he kisses her quickly before she can start crying. 

“It’s okay Quinn. We’re going to be okay. I believe in us too.” 

He doesn’t know what the future holds for them, but he’s not worried, as long as he has her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Quinn would be the biggest Swifties and no one can change my mind about that. The songs I used in this chapter were Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne, I’m Only Me When I’m With You by Taylor Swift, and One by Ed Sheeran. Thanks so much for reading!


	11. Big Brother, Saturday Night Glee-ver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if Saturday Night Glee-ver is really short or is lacking some serious Fabrevans content ): Quinn has no lines which is really annoying and there was some Samcedes content that I had to change, but here we are!! Also Sam most definitely has road rage I think we can all agree on that. Here are a thousand more moments of Fabrevans car scenes.

**Big Brother**

She knows Mr. Schue is probably going to make her perform a number in Glee Club once she goes back to school on Monday. Even though it’s Thursday and she was discharged yesterday, the doctor and her mom thought it was best if she stayed home for the rest of the week and caught up on schoolwork. She knows it’s because they want her to get used to being in a wheelchair, but she lets them think that they’re protecting her feelings by using missed school work as an excuse. 

She hasn’t told anyone about her situation except for Sam, she’s too embarrassed. She was a head Cheerio, and now look at her. Sam comes over everyday. He had come home with her from the hospital yesterday and helped her mom move everything she needed from her room upstairs to the guest bedroom downstairs since she clearly can’t stay in her room anymore. 

They don’t really address their situation, Quinn has always hated labels, which she knows is really ironic. So they kiss and cuddle and he calls her babe, but when others ask they say they’re not dating. 

\-----

She thought she wouldn’t be as bored at home than she was at the hospital, but it’s the opposite. Her mom has now gone back to work, and there are no nurses to check up on her that she can talk too. 

People from school still text her while they’re in class, but it’s not the same. She’s going to be even more bored now because she’s told everyone not to come visit because she wants to settle in. It’s really because she doesn’t want them to know she’s in a wheelchair. She knows they’re going to find out eventually, she goes back to school on Monday, but she’s just not ready. 

\-----

The doorbell rings at 3:30 and she rolls over to open the door assuming it’s Sam. Her blood runs cold when she sees Kurt standing across from her holding takeout. He looks like he’s looking at a ghost instead of looking at her. 

“Quinn?” His voice is barely there, saying her name in a whisper. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, not knowing what to say. 

“Here, come in.” She tells him, rolling backwards and pulling the door back with her. He waits for her to close the door and walks behind her as she rolls towards the living room couch.

He puts the takeout on the table and sits on the couch opposite to her. “What-? I just I-? But you were-?” 

She laughs quietly and cuts him off. “It could be temporary.” 

She guesses that doesn’t help because he looks just as confused as he did the second she opened the door, possibly more. 

“I don’t understand.” She sighs. She hates thinking about it, let alone talking about it. Her doctor had told her as soon as she acknowledges this is what is happening it will get easier, but she doesn’t want to. She wants her life back. She wants her legs back. 

“My spine was compressed in the accident. When I woke up I couldn’t feel my legs because of it, hence the wheelchair. But I’m going to go to physical therapy and I’ll be out of it and dancing for Nationals in no time, don’t worry.” 

But Kurt doesn’t look convinced. “Quinn-”

She shakes her head, cutting him off. If she doesn’t stay positive, what will she have to look forward to? This cannot be how her highschool story ends. She  _ will  _ be dancing at prom and Nationals. She has to be. 

The door opens and her and Kurt look over to see who it is. “Oh Quinnnn.” Sam sings and she rolls her eyes. “I have a visitor for you.” 

Her body fills with rage. He told someone? After she specifically told him not too? She sighs, what was she supposed to expect? Sam is great at keeping his own secrets, but anyone else’s? You’re better off telling a toddler. 

She sees Artie rolling in behind him and some of that anger washes away. 

She’s thankful Artie doesn’t look at her any differently as he rolls towards her. “Hey Quinn. Hey Kurt.” 

Kurt gets a text message and tells her he needs to go, his dad needs him to pick up something for the shop, but he’ll come back tomorrow so they can talk more. He bends over and gives her a hug. “You’re still you Quinn, don’t forget that.” He whispers in her ear before he leaves. 

Sam finally comes over and joins her. “I hope you’re not mad, I just thought Artie would be able to help you more than I could.” She gets his intentions, she just wishes he would have talked to her about it first. 

Before she can glare at Sam, Artie asks her how she’s doing. 

“I’m fine. It’s just a little different.” 

She’s grateful Artie doesn’t push her like everyone else has been doing. They want to know how she feels, why she feels that way, what they can do to make her feel better. Doesn’t everyone realize that she just wants to talk about anything else? She hates that this is her life now. She was a fucking cheerleader before this. 

“I missed playing soccer a lot at first. That was the first big change for me.” 

_ I miss going to the bathroom by myself,  _ she thinks to herself. She misses sleeping in her own bed. She misses walking to her car after Cheerios practice with Santana and Brittnay. She misses dancing around with Sam with no music playing. 

Sam asks her if she’s okay and she realizes she’s started crying. His question only makes her cry harder. Artie squeezes her hand as she sobs and she thinks to herself,  _ well if I am going through this, at least I’m not going through it alone. At least I have people by my side for once.  _

\-----

Artie comes over everyday afterschool and helps her plan a number for when she comes back to Glee club on Monday. They choose  _ I’m Still Standing  _ for the irony of it and he shows her little tricks and moves she can do while in a wheelchair. 

She still hasn’t told anyone else. Kurt comes over a lot too and helps her do little things like paint her nails or do her hair. She doesn’t tell him  _ you know I still have use of my arms Kurt  _ because she likes his company. And the treatment does kind of make her feel like a princess. 

Although she does wish someone would just let her do something. Sam comes over everyday and stays until the curfew Burt and Carole have given him. He doesn’t let her do anything. He gets her everything she tries to get for herself, he pushes her around everywhere she wants to go, sometimes even carrying her if they had been sitting down on the couch together watching tv. He has more time to hang out with her now because he quit the synchronized swimming team, which she will admit she is happy about because she knows he was getting more slushie facials because of it. 

\-----

She makes her mom change her outfit three times on Monday morning. She doesn’t have control over anything else, about her life, the way people will look at and treat her because of this, but at least she can choose a good outfit to distract them from it. 

After she puts on a pair of jeans, white tank top, and yellow cardigan her mom doesn’t let her look in the mirror anymore. “You look fine honey, don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.” 

She nods and sighs. Her mom bends down and puts a barrette in her hair. “There. Perfect.” She looks down because her eyes have filled up with tears, she can’t remember the last time her mom did her hair. Her mom cups her cheeks and forces her to look at her. “You look beautiful Quinnie.” She smiles at her mom. 

Sam honks from outside to indicate he’s here. Her mom rolls her down to his car and he helps her get inside. He keeps looking over at her during the ride there and she knows it’s because he’s trying to figure out how she’s feeling. 

“Nervous?” She’s terrified, but of course she isn’t going to tell him that. 

“I don’t know, I just don’t want to deal with all the stares and questions.” 

He reaches over to grab her hand and squeezes it. “Well you’ll have me, so if anyone starts making you uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll wheel you away.” She just smiles in response because she doesn’t want to tell him that they both know he always won’t be there. 

He helps her out of the car as soon as they arrive and she closes her eyes to avoid the looks. A couple of people she hasn’t spoken too since the first few weeks of her freshman year are telling her how good it is to see her. They spot Rachel and Finn at Rachel’s locker. 

“Hey I have to go return some of my synchronized swimming stuff, will you be okay with Rachel?” She nods and he kisses her cheek before he heads outside to the pool. She ignores the weird looks she gets from that as well. 

She wheels towards Rachel and the brunette looks mortified. Artie shows up beside her as she’s heading down the hallway. “Hey Quinn how are you feeling?” 

She shrugs. “It’s weird. I’ve always been used to people staring at me, but this is different.” 

He gives her a smile and tells her, “yeah the looks never really go away.” 

Rachel gives her a watery smile once they reach her and Finn. “Hi Quinn! We missed you.” 

She knows what Rachel is doing, and she tells her not too. “I could have easily become one of those creepy memorial pages in the yearbook, but by the grace of God, I’m here. Believe it or not, this is the happiest day of my life.” 

Rachel looks horrified and Quinn has to refrain herself from laughing. The whole conversation is making her uncomfortable, so she tells Artie she’ll race him to the choir room. 

\-----

She gasps when she sees the banner and balloons. “What is this?” She turns around at Artie who is grinning at her. 

“I told everyone you were coming back today and we all wanted to do something special for you.” She wipes away a few happy tears and thanks him. 

She sits and waits for everyone to enter the choir room with Artie, swallowing everyone’s reactions. Tina and Mike are the first ones in, both of them freeze when they see her, and Tina covers her mouth with her hand but Quinn can still hear her say “oh my god.” They both recover quickly, and Tina runs up to her and hugs her, telling her she’s so glad to have her back. Mike gives her a smile and the both of them sit down. Rachel and Finn follow shortly after and Rachel still has that guilty look on her face. 

Mercedes, Blaine and Kurt walk in next, and Mercedes looks like she is going to say something, but Kurt pulls her away before she can, which Quinn is thankful for. Sam comes after them and sends her a wink and she blushes. Rory, Puck, and Sugar all give her shocked looks but thankfully don’t say anything. Santana and Brittnay come running in before the bell rings and Brittnay stops behind her confused. “Wait Quinn why are you in a wheelchair?” 

She can’t read Santana’s expression. Before she can make a guess, her eyes fill up with tears. “You’re not going to be a Cheerio.” Quinn hadn’t even thought about that, and it makes her own eyes well up with tears. Santana must catch them because she goes in and gives her a hug. “It’s okay,” she tells her, her voice breaking. “You’re an honorary Cheerio for life.” Quinn smiles and Santana wipes away some of her tears and heads to her seat as Mr. Schue walks in. 

“Quinn, it’s so good to see you back. We missed you.” She thanks Mr. Schue and takes a deep breath before her duet with Artie starts. She tries to keep up with Artie’s moves and ignores the shocked looks some members give her. She’s grateful that as the performance goes on everyone starts laughing, clapping along, and dancing. 

She wants to take away some of the awkwardness, so she says once the performance ends, “here’s a lesson for your board Mr. Schue, don’t text and drive. Ever. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. There’s a lot of rumours going around so let’s clear the air. First of all, all my plumbing still works, which is awesome. But my spine was severely compressed in the car accident. Which basically means I can’t move my feet or legs. But the good thing is that I’m starting to regain feeling, so with a lot of physical therapy, and your prayers, I stand a good chance for a full recovery. So no tears. That means you Tina.” She looks over at Tina who is sniffing and gives her a look, trying to get a smile back. “Oh and I apologize for the number. My dance moves aren’t as smooth as Artie’s yet.” 

She laughs as Artie says, “with practice, they will be.” 

She doesn’t want their pity, or for them to think of her as weak because she’s going to be fine. She’ll be walking again in no time. “I promise that by the time we go to Nationals, I’ll be out of this chair, and dancing on that stage.” 

She hugs Santana and Brittnay once they run up to her and sits next to Artie for the remainder of the Glee club rehearsal. 

\-----

He’s in the weight room when Artie wheels himself in. He puts his weights down, afraid something happened to Quinn because of Artie’s nervous expression. “Hey Sam, can we talk?” Sam nods, too worried to trust his voice. “It’s about Quinn. I don’t want to sound like a jerk by saying any of this, but I just don’t want her to get her hopes up too much. I’ve been where she is, optimistic that I’d be walking in two months again, but her doctors said it  _ might  _ be temporary. And we all saw her after the accident, she might need a miracle to walk again.” 

He doesn’t know much about human anatomy or medicine, so he’s been trusting whatever Quinn has been telling him. But hearing Artie, he’s a little nervous she might also not know what she’s talking about. “So what can I do then?” 

“I don’t know what you guys are right now, but just be there for her I guess. She’ll be devastated if this turns out to be permanent. I’m going to try and lightly tell her that might be a possibility, but I don’t know how well that will go.” 

Sam nods and bites his lower lip, he knows for sure that won’t go well. Quinn claims to always be a realistic person, and don’t get him wrong, she is. But for everyone else’s life except for her own.

\-----

She wheels her way to coach Sue’s office and knocks on the door. Sue looks up at her and waves her in. She doesn’t recognize the look in coach's eyes, and it makes her a little nervous. 

“As you can probably tell, I don’t think I’ll be able to be a Cheerio anymore.” 

Sue smiles at her, and she finally notices the odd thing in Sue’s eyes, they’re tears. “I know Q. I’m just so glad to see you alive.” It chokes Quinn up a bit to see Sue so emotional, especially over her.

“Thank you.” She says, her voice breaking a bit. Sue gives her a watery smile in return. 

\-----

She’s thankful Sue lets her sit out during Booty Camp, although she does wince every time Sue insults the rest of her members. She feels guilty for giggling when Sue chucks Mercedes’ phone across the auditorium. 

She loves that Sue doesn’t even care that Santana and Brittnay are slacking off in the corner. She won’t lie, it is sort of nice to see Rachel bumped down a peg. But she does feel guilty that they’re getting ripped apart so much. 

\-----

Santana sends her a text before lunch that Puckerman wants them all to meet in the library so they can go over Senior Ditch Days ideas. 

She meets up with Kurt and Blaine after class and the three of them head to the library together. She thanks Blaine for pushing her wheelchair so her arms can rest and listens to Kurt tell her about Blaine’s famous brother while they wait for everyone to arrive. She doesn’t question why Blaine and Tina are here for this meeting when they’re both Juniors even though it confuses her. She chuckles at Kurt’s idea of a scavenger hunt, and looks puzzled at Mike when he suggests a  _ Footloose  _ marathon, not exactly Senior Ditch Day material. 

She can’t believe all of their ideas. She’s about to suggest one of her own, but then Rachel starts talking to her before she can. “Quinn I’m so sorry.” It catches her by surprise and wipes the smile off her face. She knows Rachel feels guilty, and she has tried to tell her numerous times that she shouldn’t be. She was the one who chose to text Rachel back, Rachel didn’t force her to. “It was my wedding that you were going to when you got into your car crash, and you were answering my text message, and now we’re all sitting here and we’re talking about this day that’s supposed to be the most amazing and unforgettable day of our high school lives and we’re completely ignoring the fact that she’s sitting in that chair? It’s not right. It’s not right and it shouldn’t be like this.” 

She starts talking as soon as Rachel finishes because she’s afraid if she doesn’t Rachel will start back up again and Quinn knows if she lets Rachel keep going, Rachel won’t be the only one crying. 

“Well, maybe not, but this is the way it is. My accident, which you did not cause by the way, does not define me or ruin our senior year. I meant what I said in the choir room. I’m not going to dwell on this and neither should any of you, okay?” She looks over and Kurt who has also shed a few tears and shoots him a smile. She looks back at Rachel and tells her, “come here.” 

She holds her arms out for Rachel, who just starts to cry harder which makes Quinn laugh. “Come on, come on.” She grabs Rachel’s hand and looks at the rest of them. “Now we are ditching as planned. I think we should go to six flags.” 

She smiles at everyone else’s excited reactions to her suggestion and is happy everyone chooses it. She doesn’t exactly know if she’ll be allowed on the rides since she’s in a chair, but she isn’t worried about it right now. 

\-----

She’s catching up on some of her missed work in the library during her study hall period when Sam sits on one of the chairs in front of her. “Where’s Kurt?” 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “In the bathroom. Shouldn’t you be in class?” 

He shrugs a shoulder and grins at her. “Told my teacher I needed to go to the bathroom, I missed you.” 

She rolls her eyes even though those butterflies she felt last year return. If she’s being honest, she kind of missed them. “You’re going to see me in Glee club later.” He looks at her nervously and she puts her textbook down realizing he came here because he wanted to talk to her about something. “What is it?” 

“Huh?” Now he just looks confused and it makes her chuckle. 

“I know you Sam Evans, and I tell you want to talk to me about something. It’s all over your face.” 

“I’m coming to Six Flags.” He blurts it out and she almost doesn’t catch what he said at first. But as she goes over the words in her head she realizes what he said. 

“You’re going to Senior Ditch Day? But you’re not even a senior.” She knows why he’s doing this. He feels like he needs to keep an eye on her. He’s always been so protective of her, when they were dating and even after they broke up, but ever since her accident he’s been going overboard. 

“Well yeah, but Tina and Blaine really wanted to go, and Artie was talking about taking you to this skate park so all us Juniors decided we would all skip too.” Skate park? Artie hasn’t mentioned anything to her about that. His eyes widen and she assumes he wasn’t supposed to tell her about that yet. 

She sighs. “Sam I’m completely capable of taking care of myself. I’m not a child.” His expression changes to a mix between pity and guilt and it makes her nauseous. She wishes everyone would stop treating her differently, she can still do most of the same things she could do before her accident. 

“We only have so much time left together and I want to spend as much of it with you as I can.” She will admit, it’s a nice save. She knows he doesn’t want to make her feel this way, so she lets it go and caves. 

“Okay fine.”

He breaks out into a huge grin and leaves over the table of all her assignments, textbooks, and notes to give her a quick peck before telling her he needs to head back to class. 

\-----

Artie has been bugging her about going up the steepest ramp behind the school for days, but she doesn’t think she’s ready. He finally corners her after Glee club and forces her to wheel behind him towards the ramp. 

Of course he goes up like a champ. It doesn’t look all that bad, but she just knows her arms are going to be killing her afterwards. She’s pulled out of her thoughts when Artie asks her if she’s ready. 

“I don’t know. It’s super steep.” Artie telling her it’s the steepest ramp in Lima does not make her feel any better. 

“I think I’m just going to go to the front of the school. That ramp is nice and gentle.” She starts to roll away, but doesn’t get very far because Artie calls her name. 

“Quinn Fabray!” She pauses and waits to see what he has to say. “I believe in you.” 

_ Curse you Artie,  _ she thinks to herself. She sighs and heads back towards the start of the ramp. The worst that can happen is she can’t do it and she tries again tomorrow. She’s thankful Artie is being so supportive, she’s really glad that she has him helping her with all of this, but she still doesn’t think she’ll be able to make it. 

“I’m not gonna make it.” She tells him, but starts pushing herself forward anyway. “My arms are killing me.” She says between pushes, breathing heavily. She seriously thinks her arms might fall off. “My arms are not strong like yours.” She wants more than anything to let go and just fall back down the ramp, but Artie’s words of encouragement keep her going. They also make her laugh, which hurts so much. 

She thinks she might die when Artie tells her she’s halfway there. Only halfway? She feels like she’s been doing this for hours. Him constantly telling her to push makes her think of giving birth. “That sounds familiar.” She tells him while laughing. 

“It’s just like having a baby. Come on.” She laughs at him even though she would have probably scolded him if she wasn’t in her current situation. 

“You wouldn’t know!” God, is she almost there? She has to be almost there, she’s been on this ramp for ten minutes for sure. But then Artie starts counting down and she breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Three..two..one..zero. You made it!” She high fives him and laughs as he grabs her chair to keep her from falling back down the ramp. Her arms are still killing her, and she really wishes Sam were here so he could push her chair instead of her having to push it herself. 

“I would say that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.” She tells him while rolling beside him down the hallway. 

“Until you go to Six Flags.” She’s been waiting for this, for Artie to bring up his idea for the two of them for Senior Ditch Day. “Look, I’m not trying to be a buzzkill, but going to an amusement park while you’re in a wheelchair, especially if you’re still getting used to it, can kind of be a drag.

A drag? It’s Senior Ditch Day. The only one she’s ever going to get and she is not going to miss out on it just because she’s stuck in this chair. “Artie it’s Senior Ditch Day. It’s the only Senior Ditch Day I’m ever going to have.” 

She doesn’t tell him that Sam has already ruined his surprise when he tells her he wants her to come with him on Friday, just tells him that she’ll think about it. 

\-----

She gets an email from Mr. Schue that Blaine’s brother will be teaching a master acting class afterschool the next day for all of them and he expects all of them to be there. She doesn’t quite get it, what does acting have to do with Nationals? And not all of them even want to be actors. So what exactly is the purpose of the class? 

Her jaw drops when Cooper tells them to not go to college. Does this guy not realize half of them have already set plans to go to different post secondaries? She’s literally going to Yale. She looks over and Rachel and snorts at her face when Cooper tells them to not go to New York and that Broadway is dead. 

She looks over to see if anyone is actually taking notes. A headshot is determined on whether or not you get a callback? Shouldn’t it be dependent on your acting? She looks over at Blaine and feels empathy for him because he’s wearing the same face she has whenever Frannie would come home during breaks and talk about University. 

She looks over at Sam and laughs quietly to herself because of course he is eating all this up. She can’t stop laughing because she can’t take this guy seriously. Asking the director the hard questions and pointing? How is this an actual class? And isn’t this guys acting resume the one commercial? 

Aren’t you supposed to connect with your costars? She does like the screaming the lines, it does make Cooper sound super intense. She feels for Blaine, their argument brings back memories of her and Frannie. When she makes eye contact with him she gives him a small smile. 

\-----

She watches as Finn crashes into Joe while texting on his phone so she decides to call him out on it. 

“Hey, what were you doing? Texting while walking. That’s exactly how I started.” She knows Finn is going to try and make excuses, but she doesn’t care. “Think about it, you know, luckily enough the guy that crashed into me while I was texting is fine, but you know, I.” She trails off because yeah she wants Finn to realize what he was doing is wrong, but she also doesn’t want to think about that. “You should really not do that anymore.” 

Artie joins them and Finn tells them he was just confirming the Senior Ditch Day amusement park tickets which makes Quinn realize she still hasn’t told him that her and Artie won’t be coming. 

“Oh, count us out.” 

“What? Why?” She doesn’t blame Finn for being surprised, Six Flags was her idea after all. 

“Because we have a super special Senior Ditch Day planned, Artie Abrams style. Isn’t that right Artie?” She asks while wheeling next to him, giving him a high five as he confirms. 

\-----

She meets Sam by his truck afterschool so he can take her home. She waits a bit and then decides it is probably better to tell him now than wait for tomorrow, which is Senior Ditch Day. 

“Hey, so I’m not going to Six Flags.” She jumps as the car swerves a little. 

“Wait what? So you’re staying at school?” She laughs and shakes her head. 

“No, I’m hanging out with Artie and going to that skate park with him.”

“Where’s the skatepark?” She can tell by his voice that he’s internally panicking, but is trying to stay calm and not bombard her with questions for her sake. 

“It’s right by Six Flags don’t worry. Artie’s mom is going to pick us up and drive us there tomorrow and if we get bored, we might join you guys later.” He looks hesitant and she rolls her eyes. “Sam, I’m going to be fine.” 

He sighs and looks over at her once they reach a red light. “I know Quinn, I just don’t want to lose you again.”

She feels guilty for being so annoyed. Why hadn’t she thought that was the reason why he was being so protective? She squeezes his hand that had been resting on her thigh. “You won’t.” 

\-----

She hates that she has to get up super early the next morning, but she will admit she’s super excited to see what Artie has planned. The skatepark is not at all what she was expecting. The drops look deep and the ramps look steep. 

“I don’t think I’m ready for this.” She tells him. She doesn’t mind sitting back and watching him, she still has her book she was reading in the car. But of course Artie is persistent. 

Artie takes her on some of the smaller ramps first. She squeals as her stomach does small flips each time she goes down. They stop to watch the Glee club go down one of the biggest rides and laugh at how they can hear Rachel screaming from where they are. But she’s sure she probably screams just as loud when she goes down the biggest ramp at the park. 

As soon as they decide they’re done and it’s time to join the rest of the group at Six Flags she thanks Artie. “Thank you. This was a really great Senior Ditch Day. You were right.” 

“I just wanted you to meet a cool group of people having a great time in the same situation as you.” 

“Yeah, but I’m not,” She trails off, not entirely sure how to word what she wants to say without hurting Artie’s feelings. “This is only temporary. The doctor said it’s a matter of time before-” 

Artie cuts her off. “Look, I’ve been where you are. I know how it feels, but you can’t keep denying-” 

Denying? She’s not denying anything. She knows everyone keeps telling her that she needs to face the fact that this could be permanent, but she knows what she’s feeling in her legs. She knows she’s going to be walking again soon. “I’m not denying anything. You’re not me. Okay? I’m not like you, this isn’t my life. I’m going to Yale, I’m getting out of Lima, and I’m going to walk again.” 

She wishes Artie would have just left it at that because she feels it coming, she’s going to say something to hurt him out of anger. But of course he asks her, “and what if you don’t? When are you going to stop pretending that this isn’t really happening to you?” 

She doesn’t answer him. She doesn’t want to fight, not after the day that they just had. She knows she hurt Artie with what she said, and she would feel really bad about it, if she wasn’t hurting too. 

\-----

The Glee club meets the two of them by the gate when Quinn had texted Sam that they were on their way. She smiles at all of them when she gets there, but she knows Sam can tell something’s up. She shakes her head as he goes to ask her about it, indicating to him she doesn't want to get into it. 

They had all agreed to do the bigger rides without Artie and Quinn so by the time the two of them joined the rest of them they would be going on rides Artie and Quinn could join in on. 

Her face hurts from smiling so wide when Rachel tells her that. “Thank you guys.” She tells them as a few tears escape her eyes. 

“This was your idea Quinn.” Kurt tells her as Sam gets behind her chair to wheel her around. 

They go on some spinny rides and her personal favourite, bumper cars. She had sat next to Sam, which she soon realized was the worst decision she could have made because he kept getting them stuck into corners whenever Santana would purposely bump into their car. 

She talks to Tina and Kurt while the guys play little carnival games. She rolls herself over to Artie when they’re watching the guys play a pop the balloon one. 

“I’m sorry.” She knows she wasn’t entirely in the wrong, her doctor thinks it’s okay for her to have hope, but she also knows she shouldn’t have brought down Artie. 

“No I’m sorry Quinn. I guess I’m a little envious that you might be able to walk again and I’ll be forever stuck in this chair.” Her heart breaks for Artie, and she kicks herself for not realizing all her talk about one day walking again was probably making him feel horrible. 

“Artie I didn’t even think-” He shakes his head and she cuts herself off. 

“It’s okay Quinn.” Before she can think of what to say back, Sam walks over to them and drops a blue stuffed penguin wearing a bowtie into her lap. 

She looks at it weirdly. Do blue penguins even exist? And why is it wearing a bowtie? It just makes her think of Blaine. Which makes her set a mental note because she so wants a picture of Blaine holding the penguin later with their matching bow ties. “It’s cute, Stacey will love it.” 

He shakes his head. “I already won something for Stacey, it’s for you.” She blushes and nods her head subtly towards Artie who is looking at the both of them suspiciously. 

“What’s going on between you two?” He asks, eyeing the both of them oddly. 

“Nothing!” They both say at the same time, which makes everything look even worse. She turns her head to glare at Sam. “Nothing, we’re just friends.” 

Artie smirks at that. “Sam and I are just friends and he didn’t win me anything.” 

Sam sends Artie a wink. “Don’t worry buddy, I got you next.” 

\-----

Her day has already started off pretty terribly. She didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and she was late to class this morning because she dropped some of her papers in the hallway and no one bothered to help her pick them up. 

And now this. She groans as her books fall to the floor. She loves her looker, but recently it has really started to become a pain in her ass. 

“Maybe you should request a lower locker.” She thanks Joe and takes her books back from him. She hadn’t even realized his locker was so close to hers. “Could be easier.” 

Sam has said the same thing to her multiple times, but just as she had told him, she tells Joe, “no. This has always been my locker and will continue to be until I walk across that stage in my cap and gown and get my diploma.” She’s in an annoyed mood, so she doesn’t thank him a second time for helping her with her books, telling him “I gotta get to class.” instead. 

“Can I walk with you?” Well that’s new. She doesn’t really know what Joe’s intentions are, but she’s sure he could use more friends, so she allows it. 

“I’ve been praying for you.” She thinks he remembers him visiting her at the hospital, telling her he would pray for her, but she isn’t entirely sure. 

“Well, I guess it could help for God to hear from a few people. I’ve been praying to walk again as well.” She doesn’t know how Joe knows where her next class is, and she’s not sure if she really wants too. 

“Oh I don’t pray for you to walk. I ask God to help you accept whatever your journey may be.” 

Now she’s annoyed. Who does this guy think he is? Of course she’s going to walk again. So she pushes the brake on her wheelchair. “I appreciate your prayers, I do, but when you’re done praying you get to get up off your knees and walk away.” 

She wheels forward a bit before she realizes what she said was kind of harsh, all Joe is trying to do is be nice. So she stops and waits for him to catch up. “Sorry, self-obsessed bitch.” 

She hears him laugh from behind her and starts pushing her again. “It’s cool.” 

She gets an idea, remembering Joe’s voice from when they sang telegrams for Valentine’s Day “You know what, you’re really inspiring. And I feel like you’d be inspiring to a few other people I know. What are you doing after school today?”

“Nothing. Why?” He asks, looking puzzled. 

She smiles. “Meet me at the auditorium afterschool.” She tells him before wheeling off. 

\-----

He gets there before her and looks relieved when he sees her. “What is this about?” 

“How would you feel about joining the Glee club?” He looks confused and she panics for a second. Does he not know who they are? But he has too, he went to their Regionals. 

But then he smiles and nods and she tells him to follow her. She asks Mr. Schue about it as soon as they see him and he tells her he thinks it’s a great idea. “You can announce it to the group yourself.” 

She wheels to the front when Mr. Schue announces she has the floor. “I invited a friend to join us. You met him on Valentine’s Day.” She chuckles when Brittnay shouts  _ Teen Jesus!  _ “He’s got a killer voice.” 

She grins at the applause he gets and wheels herself to the back where she usually sits during booty camp. 

She’s furious. Sexual tension between Mercedes and Sam. She would have laughed at Sue’s  _ Kentucky Fried Stripper  _ joke if she wasn’t so mad. There would only be sexual tension if they still had feelings for each other. But he told her that he loved her. Was he lying? 

She was not expecting Sue’s pep talk. It calms her down just a little bit, but she’s still fuming. She glares at Sam when he turns back to look at her and smirks internally when he flinches. 

\-----

She waits for him once booty camp ends because even though she’s mad, she’s not the same girl who she used to be. The one who storms off and never tells the guy she’s dating how she feels. Plus Sam is her ride home.

He sighs when he gets to her, indicating that he already knows what’s coming his way. “I didn’t know you and Joe were friends?” His question just makes her angrier because how dare he try and spin this on her. 

“Sexual tension?” She asks, crossing her arms across her chest. 

“I don’t know why she said that Quinn, you know how I feel about you.” 

“Do I?” She knows it’s harsh and it will sting, which is partially why she says it. But is she missing something? Not seeing something everyone else is? 

“Come on Quinn, what do you want me to say? There’s nothing going on between me and Mercedes.” He looks really distressed. She knows she’s putting him in an unfair position, but she’s hurt too. If there was no sexual tension between Sam and Mercedes, why would Sue make that comment?

“I think I’m going to get a ride home from Kurt.” 

Sam looks like she’s just punched him in the gut. “Quinn come on, don’t do this.” He looks like he might start crying any second now, but she’s doing this for them. She knows if she stays she’s going to say something hurtful and she’s not going to allow herself to ruin them again. 

“I’m-I’m not mad, I just. I just need to think Sam.” She wheels away before he can say anything else. She rolls into the parking lot and gasps when she sees Kurt waiting for her by his car. 

“What are you still doing here?” She asks him as soon as she gets to him. 

“I had a feeling you might want to talk.” He tells her as he helps her into the passenger seat. She waits for him to put her wheelchair into the backseat and hop into the driver’s side before she starts talking. 

“I just don’t understand why Sue would say that if she didn’t pick up something between them.” She looks down at her lap, using her fingers to distract herself from the fact that she wants to cry right now. 

“Quinn, Sam adores you. Now I can’t answer your question as to why Sue would say there was sexual tension between them, but I can’t see any.” 

She looks up and smiles at him because it really does make her feel better that he doesn’t see anything between Sam and Mercedes. “Maybe I’m just overreacting.” 

“I think you’re just scared. Or you think it’s too good to be true, so you’re trying to find something to ruin it, but you deserve happiness Quinn. Don’t let yourself let him go this time.” 

She realizes Kurt is right. She’s trying to pull away because she’s scared. She doesn’t think she deserves him so the first chance she gets to push him away, she takes. 

She texts Sam:  **I’m sorry. I was overreacting.**

She gets a response back immediately:  **I love you Quinn, only you.**

She smiles and for the first time, she really allows herself to believe it. 

**I love you too Sam, only you.**

* * *

**Saturday Night Glee-ver**

When Santana tells her she doesn’t know if she wants to go to college during lunch, Quinn’s not going to lie, she’s a little nervous. She knows Santana, she knows all she wants to do in life is be famous, it’s what she’s always wanted to do. And that’s fine, but they both know it isn’t going to immediately happen after highschool. 

“So you haven’t applied to like any colleges?” Quinn asks her calmly, at least she hopes she sounds calm because she’s freaking out that her best friend has no plans for after they graduate. 

“Well no, obviously I applied to some colleges, well maybe it was just one college. But I don’t know Q, post secondary just seems like a waste of time. Why would I spend all that money if I’m just going to end up being famous anyway?”

_ But how Santana, how are you going to be famous? And what for?  _ Santana is crazy talented, Quinn knows that better than anyone. She has a killer voice and she’s an amazing dancer, but it’s that Santana doesn’t care  _ how  _ she gets famous is what worries her. 

“You can apply for different cheerleading scholarships. Even get reference letters from Sue. Some schools eat into that kind of stuff.” She tells the Latina in between bites of her salad.

“That sounds like a lot of work.” Santana tells her while shrugging her shoulders. Quinn sighs and let’s it go, telling herself she’ll bring it up another time when she will actually have Santana’s full attention.

\-----

She rolls into the choir room behind Santana and Brittnay and stares like everyone else at the plexiglass dance floor. Even though she agrees with mostly everyone and thinks disco sucks, she knows Mr. Schue probably has some secret lesson planned that is supposed to inspire all of them or something. So when it’s her turn to do her dance solo she wheels onto the floor and waves her arms around because she can’t really do anything else. She sits off to the side when they’re doing the rest of the choreography because even though she has picked up a few movies from Artie, she still can’t keep up with the rest of the group. 

\-----

She is one hundred percent sure that Mr. Schue has a secret lesson plan for the rest of the group when he announces Finn as one of the contenders. Santana and Mercedes she can see, but Finn? Everyone knows that he can’t dance. 

Her suspensions are confirmed when Santana rants to her and Brittnay after her meeting with Mr. Schue is finished. “Can you believe that? Who does he think he is telling me I don’t have plans? I have plans, I’m going to be famous.” 

She sighs and stops, pulling Santana’s hand and making her stop too. “Santana. I love you and that’s why I’m going to say this.”    
  


Santana groans and rolls her eyes after she turns around to look at her. “I swear to God Q if you give me a pep talk right now I will push you out of that wheelchair.” 

“You need to have a plan. I’m not saying you can’t be famous, but you don’t even know how you’re going to get there Santana. You’re being stupid, it’s time for us to grow up now and start making tough decisions.” She pauses and prepares herself for Santana to start yelling or swearing, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t say anything, instead she grabs Brittnay’s hand and leaves Quinn there in the hallway all alone. 

\-----

She meets Sam by his truck and smiles as he kisses her on the cheek and tells her, “I missed you. I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.” 

She sighs and starts unloading the day she’s been having with Santana to him. “She just won’t listen to me. And I wish there was something I could do, like how Kurt recorded Mercedes’ performance in Glee club today and posted it to Youtube, but I don’t know what. I don’t know if she’s just scared and that’s why she’s acting like this or she’s really this lost. I’m worried about her Sam.” 

He takes his hand off the gearshift and squeezes hers. “Santana’s a smart girl Quinn, she’ll realize she’ll need to start making some decisions sooner or later.” 

She appreciates his advice, but it doesn’t ease her nerves at all. “I know, but I just don’t want it to be too late when she does.” 

\-----

Santana hasn’t spoken to her since their last conversation. She sits beside Brittnay on the day of Santana’s performance in hopes that it will force Santana to at least look at her after she’s finished. But once Santana starts talking about fame again Quinn realizes that should be the least of her worries. 

She sighs when Santana tells Mr. Schue that she doesn’t care about his thoughts on her dreams to be famous without a clue on how she’s going to get there. She’s always admired Santana’s ambition, but her obsession with wanting to be famous is starting to terrify her. 

\-----

Sam sends her a link while she’s in English with the following message:  **Artie just sent this to me. I only saw the first ten seconds. Thought u might wanna see it.**

She swears if it’s another inspiring article of another kid who accomplished their dreams while still being in a wheelchair she is going to kill the both of them. But when she opens her phone  **Two Girls One Cat** is staring back at her with a picture of a cat.  _ Is that Lord Tubbington?  _ she thinks to herself while clicking on the link. It takes her to a website she’s never heard of before, but clicks on the video anyways. It starts off with a cat that looks eerily similar to Brittnay’s doing household chores, and then switches to two girls having sex. She’s horrified that Sam would even send her this, but then she realizes the girls are Santana and Brittnay. 

“Oh dear God.” She whispers to herself. She really wishes Brittnay had gone to her first before posting the video. Santana and her had told the blonde that whenever she thought she had a good idea she should confirm with either Santana or Quinn first. 

She texts Santana even though she still hasn’t spoken to her asking her if she’s seen the video. Santana texts her back two question marks.  _ Well this just keeps getting better and better.  _

\-----

Santana slams her locker closed while she’s trying to get one of her textbooks out, nearly getting her fingers. “Okay Fabray, you were right. I need a plan or whatever.”    
  


Quinn smirks at her. “I take it you saw the video?” 

Santana rolls her eyes and starts pushing her wheelchair down the hallway. “I know Brittnay was just trying to help, but I really wish she had talked to me about it first. I want to be famous, but that’s not how I wanted to get there.” 

“Look Santana, no one is saying you can’t be famous, we all know how insanely talented you are. We just want you to have a plan to get there. And a backup plan in case things don’t exactly work out.” 

“I  _ am  _ going to be famous Q, but fine. I’ll think about my plan or whatever.” Santana tells her as they head into their next class. Before Quinn can respond back the bell rings and their teacher starts talking. Well it’s not exactly what she wanted to hear, but it is a start. 

\-----

When she opens her locker to change textbooks again a note falls out. She feels giddy because she assumes it’s from Sam, but then she sees that it’s written in crayon and knows it’s from Brittnay.  **Meet me in my last class.**

When she wheels into Brittnay’s History class she asks her why she asked Quinn to meet her here and not anywhere else. “I don’t remember how to get to any of your classes.” 

She giggles and asks Brittnay, “so why did you want me to meet you here?” 

“I have another idea on how to help Santana.”  _ Oh God how bad could this one possibly be,  _ she thinks to herself. Brittany has this talent of suggesting things that are so far out of Quinn’s wildest expectations. 

“I want to talk to coach Sue about getting Santana into a cheerleading university.” Saying she’s surprised is an understatement. 

“Brittnay, that's a fantastic idea! How did you come up with it?” She’s so proud of Brittnay for coming up with this on her own. 

“Well Santana was really upset with me after I posted our sex tape and I don’t really know what you do in university, but at least if Santana applies to a cheerleading one she’ll have that.” 

She hugs Brittnay and tells her she thinks it’s one of the best ideas she’s ever had, and to go talk to Sue about it right now.

\-----

She claps and cheers as Finn, Santana and Mercedes walk into the choir room wearing their winning outfits. She gels Sam’s hair back for him before she has to leave for her physical therapy appointment. 

“I wish you didn’t have to miss our group performance.” She snorts at his pout and then puts the comb down, patting his leg to indicate that she’s finished and he can get up now. 

“We all know I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with you guys anyways.” She throws her head back and laughs, taking in his whole appearance. “Oh my god you look ridiculous let me take a picture of you.” 

She gets a good one of him striking a pose that she can’t stop looking at, even after she gets into her mom's car and is on the way to physical therapy. She makes it her lock screen picture so she won’t have too. 

  
  



	12. Dance With Somebody, Choke

**Dance With Somebody**

Quinn wouldn’t really consider herself to be an emotional person, but she will admit she does tear up a little bit during Mr. Schue’s speech about them having to say goodbye in a few weeks. 

Sam asks her if she wants to sing a duet with him after Glee club is over. He must sense her hesitation because he quickly starts begging her. “Come on Q, we haven't sung a duet together since last year. I’ll even let you pick the song.” 

She laughs at how adorable he is being and tells him, “I always pick the song.” 

She watches his eyes light up. “So is that a yes? Please don’t say it’s a maybe again I don’t have as much patience as I used too.” 

She rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She laughs at his dorkiness when he twirls her wheelchair around. 

\-----

She appreciates Brittnay trying to get her to dance with the rest of them when she pulls her forward in her wheelchair, but it just makes her feel worse when Brittnay realizes that she can’t. 

She watches in envy as Santana and Brittnay dance across the auditorium stage. The one thing she misses more than walking? Is dancing. Especially with her best friends. She tries not to cry when Brittnay tells her that she is still dancing in her dreams, ignoring the flying and breathing fire part. She knows Sam is looking over at her from beside her to see her reaction, but she just wants to wallow in her feelings right now. She doesn’t want him to cheer her up, but she realizes that she doesn’t have a choice because she realizes that she’s going to keep his help to get out of the auditorium. 

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” He sighs, but nods. She knows that’s all she’s really been saying lately, but she just doesn’t want to talk about it. She hates talking about her feelings in general, and talking about how she’s stuck in this wheelchair? Reminds her of everything that she’s lost and everything she’s going to lose. How is she going to go to prom in a wheelchair? Or Yale? 

“How about I go with you to PT today?” She was also hoping that Sam wouldn’t bring this up either. He’s been bugging her about wanting to go for weeks, but she doesn’t want him to see her in that way. Her body is disgusting and she knows he’s not going to want her anymore once he sees how truly broken it is. 

“I picked a song.” She tells him, hoping he’ll let her change the subject. Thankfully he does. 

“Oh yeah, which one?” He asks her after he’s helped her up the stairs and begins rolling her out of the auditorium. 

“ _ Saving All My Love For You.  _ It’s not a duet, but I thought it would be cute for us to sing together.” She can sense his giant grin radiating off of him. 

“I love it, but what about what people are going to think?” The thought of everyone’s reactions has crossed her mind, but she doesn’t have enough energy to worry about what her and Sam singing a love song as a duet is going to look like. 

“Let them think what they want to think.” She tells him with a shrug as they head into the cafeteria.

\-----

Joe asks her if she’s okay while she’s at her locker getting her binder for her next class. They haven’t really spoken since Quinn asked him about joining the New Directions, but she does appreciate his concern, although she finds it a little odd. “You looked a little bummed back there.” 

She’s confused as to why he was paying attention to her and not Santana and Brittnay’s performance, but she let’s it go. “I’m fine.” She tells him, hoping he will get the hint that she kind of wants him to leave her alone. 

But of course he doesn’t and asks her more questions she doesn’t want to answer. “How’s your physical therapy going?” She assumes he’s trying to be nice, but can he not tell that she clearly doesn’t want to talk about it? 

“I keep going, and nothing seems to be happening, so it’s pretty depressing.” She closes her locker and sighs as she starts to wheel away. If Joe hadn’t gotten the hint before, he definitely will now. 

But instead he follows her, asking, “well what if I went with you next time? That would definitely be less depressing.” 

She doesn’t know what Joe’s angle is here. Is he trying to be friends, is he trying to hit on her? Yeah she’s kind of with Sam right now, but they’ve both decided to be subtle about it. Well at least she tries to be. She knows he tries to save all his PDA for their rides home together in his truck, but sometimes he’ll give her a peck or give her a forehead kiss when they’re together in the hallways or at lunch. But she guesses they must not be too obvious if Joe hasn’t noticed. 

She laughs and tells him, “you really don’t have to go with me.” 

But he tells her sternly, “I want too.” which takes her by surprise. She stops because she’s super confused as to why he’s being so persistent. 

“You want to come with me? Why?” 

He shrugs and says, “I care about you. And, to me, being a Christian isn’t about talk. It’s about actions.” 

She’s hesitant because she already knows how Sam is going to react. She won’t allow him to go, but she’s letting Joe who she barely talks to accompany her? Yeah, Sam is not going to be pleased. But she can’t tell Joe the reason why he can’t come with her is because she’s with Sam. 

But he doesn’t let her say no. He just walks away after telling her, “I’ll let you hold one of my dreads for luck.” Like she even knows what that means. 

\-----

She meets up with Kurt in the hallway so they can head to study hall together. Once they get there they spend the first ten minutes gossiping, and then they start working. He’s trying to explain this Algebra lesson that she has not been getting when his phone goes off indicating he’s received a text message. And then it goes off again. And then again. And she can ignore it without questioning it the first few times but twelve messages within two minutes? It’s a bit much. 

So she grabs his phone and presses one of the messages, telling him “I’m just going to tell Blaine whatever he needs is going to have to wait because you’re trying to help me pass math right now.” 

Except it isn’t Blaine, and the way Kurt is looking at her when she turns to him shocked indicates that he already knew that. “Kurt! Who is Chandler?” 

Kurt snatches his phone away from her and tells her it’s no one. She gives him a look and he rolls his eyes. “Seriously Quinn! He’s just some guy I met at Sheets And Things. He’s planning to go to NYU so we’ve just been talking.” 

She bites her lip because she doesn’t know how to word what she wants to say without making Kurt look like he’s in the wrong because she knows Kurt, he’s going to think she misunderstands the whole situation and won’t listen to anything she’s saying. “Kurt, those text messages are not ‘just talking.’ He’s flirting with you.” 

He rolls his eyes and places his phone on the table faced down. “They’re just compliments. They make me feel good.” 

She knows how this starts. First it’s the flirty little compliments, and then it turns into making out in secret corners behind your boyfriends back. “Blaine is supposed to make you feel good.” 

She doesn’t know how one can look annoyed but guilty at the same time, but she guesses it’s possible because that is how Kurt is looking at her right now. “Does Sam send you cute text messages every day?” 

She nods, not understanding what Kurt is trying to get at. Even though she tells Sam that they are annoying, she loves waking up to a  _ good morning princess  _ or falling asleep to the words  _ sweet dreams beautiful.  _ “Does he compliment you?” She nods again. Every day Sam wolf whistles at her when he goes to pick her up for school. She rolls her eyes every time even though it gives her confidence to go on with the rest of her day. But it’s not always about her looks, sometimes she catches him staring at her palm in hand while she’s trying to tutor him, telling her that she’s one of the smartest people he knows. A day doesn’t go by without him telling her how strong and inspiring she is. “Constantly trying to get in your pants?” She giggles at that question. Sam has been dropping little suggestions that the two of them should have sex again since they already have before, and it’s not that she doesn’t want too, she trusts Sam. She just doesn’t want to while she’s in her chair. She’s afraid he won’t think of her as perfect or beautiful anymore. 

She responds back to his last question with, “well he is a 17-year-old boy.” When Kurt looks down she finally understands what he means. Blaine doesn’t do that stuff for him. She feels bad for Kurt, but she still doesn’t think he should be looking for these things from somebody else. 

“You and Sam aren’t even dating Quinn and he does all that for you.” She feels guilty for being so judgemental of Kurt and not asking him for the full story first. “Have you ever heard of lesbian bed death?” She looks at him confused and shakes her head. “I read about it online. It’s when two lesbians date long enough they become like sisters. And Blaine and I are like an old married couple, a fabulous old married couple, like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. But I don’t think we’ve had an unscheduled makeout in like a month.” 

“You schedule makeout sessions?!” She kind of shouts and blushes when Kurt shushes her and a few nearby students look at them weirdly.

“The point is, I love Blaine and Blaine loves me, but he doesn’t exactly make me blush with his texts right now. What’s the harm of someone making me feel special if it’s all innocent?” She’s really concerned that Kurt doesn’t see the issue of what he’s doing with the Chandler guy. She thought he would know better, especially since he’s best friends with her. 

She sighs knowing even if she tells Kurt what he’s doing isn’t really fair to Blaine, their conversation will go nowhere. “Look Kurt, you’re one of my best friends so you know I’m never going to judge you. But I am always going to be honest with you, this is coming from a cheater Kurt, if Blaine sees those text messages he’s going to be hurt.” 

Kurt scoffs and Quinn takes the hint to let it go, changing the subject back to math, even though deep down she knows it’s only time before all of this blows up in Kurt’s face. 

\-----

She twiddles her thumbs together as Sam sets up in her living room so they can rehearse their duet. She knows she needs to tell him that Joe went with her to her physical therapy session yesterday, she just doesn’t know how to bring it up. 

“Sam I need to tell you something.” He stops and turns around. She hates how nervous he looks. She can see it all over his face, that his initial thought was that she cheated on him. So she quickly blurts out “I didn’t make out with anyone!”

He chuckles and takes a seat in front of her, looking into her eyes. “Okay. What is it?” 

She scrunches her eyes shut and just says it. “Joe went with me to my PT yesterday.” She can’t read his reaction. She doesn’t know if he’s hurt or mad or he doesn’t really care and it’s making her panic so she starts rambling. “He cornered my at my locker after Santana and Brittnay’s performance and asked me if I was okay and then asked me how it was going and I told him it was depressing and he asked if he could go and he didn’t even give me the chance to say no, and I know I should have told you, but I didn’t know how and I’m-” 

He cuts her off by kissing her. And it’s not like one of those pecks he usually gives her, it’s a full blown long kiss that takes her breath away. “-sorry.” She finishes breathlessly as soon as they pull away. 

He chuckles. “Quinn I’m not mad. I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me things okay?” She nods her head and hugs him, sighing in relief. “Now let’s rehearse.” he tells her as soon as she releases him. “Oh and just so you know, this means I’m coming to every one of your sessions now.” 

The idea of it doesn’t seem to bug her as much as it used too.

\-----

The nerves of knowing she has to perform today return as soon as she wakes up. Sam must sense them in the car because throws an arm around her shoulders quickly when they reach a stop sign. “You’re going to be great Q, don’t stress.” 

She nods and smiles even though her stomach is still doing flips. And unfortunately those flips stay until Glee club. 

She doesn’t head to the front like she normally does when she’s going to participate in the week’s assignment, she just waits for Sam to tell Mr. Schue that the two of them have a Whitney song prepared. 

Mr. Schue looks surprised, but of course Sam doesn’t notice. And he adds in “just a disclaimer that this song doesn’t really help with the goodbye.” to get a few laughs in beforehand while he goes and gets a guitar and she smiles because she knows he does it to help calm her down. 

She knows her face is probably as red as a tomato because she knows what everyone else is going to be thinking after their performance. She tries not to look at any of them as she sings, trying to focus on how Sam wheels over to her in a chair and winks at her while he sings to her, but she catches the looks Rachel and Finn give each other, and the smirks Santana and Kurt are wearing on their faces. 

She smiles as he kneels down in front of her, focusing solely on him as everyone else fades into the background. She breaks out of her trance when everyone starts clapping after the music stops. 

Rachel asks her “what was that?” with her eyebrows raised after Quinn wheels herself back next to her and Finn. 

Quinn tells her nothing, even though she’s pretty sure her cheeks are telling a different story. 

\-----

A duet between Santana and Rachel? Not something she was expecting. She’s surprised Santana hadn’t told her about it. She looks over at Sam during their performance and laughs to herself when she sees him looking at Kurt’s phone. He’s assuming Kurt is probably showing him some of the text messages between him and Chandler judging by the way Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. 

She asks him about it after Mr. Schue dismisses them all. “I don’t know Q. I know Kurt is our friend and everything, but I kind of feel bad for Blaine.” She nods. She was guessing that was how Sam was going to feel about it, he does have the biggest heart out of the three of them. 

“I tried to tell him it was wrong, but he didn’t want to hear it.” She tells him as soon as they head into the cafeteria for lunch. He puts her beside Tina at the table the Glee club is sitting at before he goes to grab their lunches. 

She opens her mouth to tell him what she wants but he doesn’t let her. “I know, your usual salad.” She smiles and nods a little embarrassed. “I’ll get you the salad, but I’m adding a side of fries. You don’t eat enough.” 

She rolls her eyes and mumbles “you’re one to talk” under her breath. She ignores the look Tina gives her when she turns around to ask her if she’s planning to perform a number this week. 

\-----

The glee girls have decided to have a once a week washroom break together so they can have one last little tradition before the year ends and most of them graduate. She’s reapplying her lipstick in the hand drier when Rachel says to her, “Quinn when you sang  _ Saving All My Love For You  _ with Sam yesterday it sure felt like you meant it.” 

She freezes and looks at Mercedes in the reflection trying to get her reaction. Tina joins in on the teasing by adding, “you guys seemed a lot more than just singing partners.” 

“That’s because we’re best friends.” She tells them while turning herself around. “Nothing else is going to happen. I graduate in a few weeks.” She says it more for Mercedes sake although after she says it out loud she realizes how much it’s true. What is going to happen after they graduate? 

She puts her lipstick back in her makeup bag after the warning bell rings. She’s about to follow Brittnay out the door when Mercedes asks her, “hey Quinn can I talk to you for a second?” 

She braces herself for the speech of betrayal. This is why she didn’t want to tell Mercedes, for this moment. She knows they haven’t been close in a while, but she still values their friendship. But Mercedes doesn’t start yelling at her like Quinn thought she would, or calling her awful names. Instead she says, “look I know something’s going on between you and Sam.” Just before she can start pouring the excuses out of her mouth Mercedes continues. “And it’s okay. Really Quinn, I don’t mind. You guys have always been good together. Ken and Barbie. You’re like soulmates.” 

She likes the idea of her and Sam being soulmates, but she loves that Mercedes isn’t upset with her so much more. She gives Mercedes a soft smile and says, “thank you.” 

\-----

He’s curling weights in the weight room when Joe walks in. He has a good idea of what, or who Joe wants to talk about. But he still asks Joe, “you want to lift?” when he gets to him.

“I actually want to talk to you about Quinn.” He was waiting for this. For Joe to admit to someone that he’s into Quinn. He doesn’t know why Quinn is always going on about how he can never see all the girls that are attracted to him when she can’t tell that most of the male student body is into her. 

He sees the looks Joe gives to her during their God Squad meetings or while they’re in Glee club, what he doesn’t understand is how she doesn’t. And he won’t lie, he was kind of pissed that Joe asked to go with her to PT. Sam’s a clever guy, he knows she wants them to be subtle, but he plays it smart. He gives her just enough small pecks and cheek kisses for all the other guys to realize she’s off the market but not enough for people to start asking questions, but for some reason, Joe didn’t seem to get the hint. 

He knows Quinn will have his head if he tells Joe to fuck off and that Quinn is with him, so he grins and says “you dig her. Yeah I can tell. Everyone can.”  _ everyone except for my girlfriend.  _ He thinks to himself, but he isn’t worried about Joe. He has a plan. “So what’s up?”

He’s going to scare Joe off and the one way to do that? Is to talk about sex. “I know you used to date her, and when you dated her, how do you handle your..feelings?” Joe asks him while taking a seat next to him on the bench. 

He knows exactly what Joe is talking about, but he wants him to elaborate. He wants to make Joe feel as uncomfortable as possible. “Here’s the thing about me: I can be super helpful, but when you ask me stuff, you have to be real specific.” 

He would rather not hear about the sexual urges Joe is having towards his girlfriend, but in order for his plan to work he needs Joe to talk about it. 

“When I was with Quinn at her rehab, I was having..feelings.” He really hopes the anger he is feeling is not showing on his face. This is why Sam wanted to be the only one to go to physical therapy with Quinn, this is why he wants to be the only guy around her at all times. Quinn is the most gorgeous girl at McKinley, he knows that, but he wishes every other guy didn’t notice too. 

“You mean like ‘in your pants feelings’?” He asks Joe, teasing him a little bit even though he wants to rip his head off. Joe of course laughs which just makes Sam angrier. He wonders if it will really be that bad if he tells Joe that he needs to take his feelings somewhere else because he has Quinn, sucks for him. 

“I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, it was a lot easier to resist temptation when there were no girls around.”  _ Didn’t this guy ever leave his house? How does he act like he’s never had any contact with a female other than his mom before?  _

“Yeah I gave up on that. I had sex last year.” He doesn’t say the person he had sex with was Quinn because Joe doesn’t need to know that. “I mean I was working in a strip club so,” he says to throw Joe off and not have him think he did lose it to Quinn. Which is what he would rather have, but he knows Quinn would rip his balls off if Joe asked her if she’s had sex with Sam. 

“But it’s a sin. We’re supposed to wait until we’re married.” He laughs a bit because there’s no way this guy would ever be able to handle Quinn, even if Sam wasn’t currently dating her. He loves Quinn, but she can be a lot to handle. She doesn’t like to tell you what’s wrong, she expects you to figure it out yourself (although she is working on that), she does not see herself the way everyone else does so you need to constantly reassure her that she is nothing less than perfect, and she doesn’t open up easily. You need to pay attention to her. Quinn never told Sam she was a Disney princess freak, he picked up on it when she would hum all the songs without realizing it, or that she secretly loves eating cheeseburgers from McDonalds, he realized eventually from all the times she would stare at his while picking at one of her disgusting salads. 

“And we’re not supposed to get tattoos, Leviticus. Look, when the Bible was written, things were easier. I mean there was no internet, chicks didn’t wear short skirts or anything. I’m a good Christian, but there’s no way a dude’s gonna be able to resist. I say, let’s be a new kind of Christian, one that prays and does right by people but understands that some of those rules are kind of old school.” 

The horrified look on Joe’s face indicates to Sam that his plan is working. “The sex rule makes sense.” Bingo, that’s exactly what Sam wanted to hear. “It’s about respecting your body, putting the spiritual over the physical so you can feel closer to God.” 

He gets up because he seriously can’t listen to this guy anymore, he’s starting to give Sam a headache. He wants to date Quinn but wants no physical contact with her? He knows Quinn, and although she pretends like she hates it, he knows how much she likes the physical connection. He knows she used to love every time he would come up behind her and spin her around by the way she would laugh. He notices the way she snuggles up closer to him whenever they’re watching a movie. Or the way she absentmindedly plays with his fingers while driving in his truck. 

He sighs and tells Joe while putting his weights away, “all I know is, Quinn’s a great girl, but you’re going to have to decide if you want to get closer to God or closer to her.” Judging by the look on Joe’s face, Quinn was not his answer. 

\-----

She gets a call from Kurt later on that evening when she’s watching one of the last Star Wars movies with Sam. She sends it to voicemail because she’s hoping Kurt will get the hint that she’s busy and text her instead. But he doesn’t, he calls her again. 

Sam looks over at her and she shrugs her shoulders, asking him to pause the movie. She accepts Kurts call and says, “hey Kurt, what’s up?” 

Her heart drops when she hears him sniffling on the other side of the line. She doesn’t ask him what it’s about because she already has a good idea. “Oh Kurt, how did he react?” 

Sam looks at her shocked and moves closer to her so he can listen in on the conversation. She rolls her eyes and pushes him away, which pretty much does nothing since he’s obviously much stronger than her. 

“He was upset. He thought it was cheating.”  _ Which I told you already  _ she thinks to herself, but doesn’t say out loud because she knows it will just make everything worse. 

“Okay, so what happened?” 

“I told him I was upset with how he hasn’t been giving me attention and he told me I should have talked to him about it and then left.” She doesn’t really know what to say. She feels for Kurt, and she wants to help him, but she’s only ever been in his position before. Then she gets an idea. 

“Hey Kurt, Sam is here too. I think he might be able to help more than me. Is it okay if I put you on speaker?” She gets a sad  _ okay  _ back and does exactly that. 

“Hey buddy, how are you doing?” Sam asks him and she glares at him. Really Sam? How is he doing? 

“I just don’t know what to do. I feel awful. I’m scared I’ve messed everything up.” 

She brings her phone up to Sam’s mouth as he starts giving Kurt advice. “I think you should just give him some space for now Kurt, give him time to cool off. He won’t want to listen to you while he’s mad.” 

“Okay. Thanks guys. Rachel and Mercedes are here now, but I really appreciate the advice.” They say goodbye to Kurt and Quinn tells him to call her if he needs anything else. 

Sam resumes the movie, but she can’t focus on it. She’s taken back to last year when she cheated on him. How can he trust her after what she did to him? Or maybe he doesn’t trust her, maybe that’s why his initial thought was that she cheated on him when she said she had to tell him something the day she told him about Joe going to her PT. 

“Hey, I know where you’re going in that cute little blonde head of yours, stop it.” She breaks away from her thoughts to look up at him to see that he’s already looking at her. 

“My biggest regret is cheating on you Sam.” He shakes his head and brings a finger up to her lips. 

“I know Q. I don’t want to relive that time okay? We’re different people now, and we’ve found our way back to each other. That’s all that matters.” 

She nods her head with his finger still on her lips and then cuddles into his chest as soon as he removes it. She falls asleep with her head on his shoulder listening to the sounds of his breathing and Yoda. 

\-----

The next day at school Kurt is miserable. She tries cheering him up whenever she’s with him by distracting him, but nothing seems to work. 

Things only seem to get worse when Blaine announces he has a number prepared in Glee club. “This song is for anyone that’s ever been cheated on.” 

She flinches and looks back at Sam who seems to have the same worried look on his face. She looks over at Kurt whose jaw is pretty much on the floor. She doesn’t know what to think, the Glee club is pretty much always in the loop of everyone’s personal drama, but they’ve never had to listen to a performance about it. She does think Blaine is being a tad bit overdramatic, they were just text messages. 

She snorts when she turns back and sees Sam jamming out to the song, of course he doesn’t see how tense and awkward everything is. There’s scattered applause after Blaine finishes performing. She looks over Kurt and feels awful as she sees the tears fall down his cheeks. 

\-----

She gives Blaine a look during Kurt’s performance hoping it will help him forgive Kurt, although she’s not sure it will after the look Blaine gives to Mike. She doesn’t know what it is about Kurt’s performance, but it makes her super emotional. Her eyes fill up with tears as she looks back at Sam who is looking right back at her. He mouths to her,  _ I love you.  _ She doesn’t care that Tina and Mike will probably be able to see her. She doesn’t care if anyone else finds out, she mouths back,  _ I love you too.  _

\-----

She kind of lied to Sam. She told him the reason why she didn’t want her going to her PT was because she didn’t want him to see her like that, but half of the reason is because she doesn’t know how she’s going to react with his hands all over her, especially on her upper thighs where she can actually feel them. She’s a good girl, but she’s not going to pretend like she doesn’t have urges. She’s already had sex with Sam, and his hands all over her? Is definitely going to remind her of it and how good it felt and how much she wants to do it again. 

But she guesses that she isn’t the only one with that problem when she feels something poking into her leg. “Is that, uhm..?” She asks awkwardly hoping he’ll get what she’s referring to. 

“Shit Q I’m so sorry.” He says embarrassed as he puts her leg down. She giggles at how red his face is and reaches over to grab his hand. 

“It’s okay. It happens.” She tells him while laughing and he glares at her. 

Eventually his embarrassment subsides and his cockiness kicks in. “Well I can’t help it that my girlfriend is smokin’.” She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t correct him when he says girlfriend the way she normally does. She’s kind of gotten used to it, and she really likes hearing it, but obviously she’s not going to tell him that. 

“I’m sure it’s just the close proximity.” He mirrors her in rolling his eyes. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t find ways to run yourself down. You’re perfect Q.” 

She sighs and blinks fast a couple of times as her ears fill up with tears. “I guess I have been doing that a lot lately. It’s just hard not to focus on what I’ve lost.” 

“Well don’t.” He tells her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “Think about everything you’ve gained.” He leans forward and kisses her, telling her “including me” in between kisses. 

“I knew you would somehow turn this around and make it about you.” She says while laughing after they break apart again. 

“Nah,” he tells her, leaning down again “this was just an excuse to kiss you.” he says and does exactly that. 

\-----

“So what do you wanna do now? Grab food or something?” He asks her as soon as they get into his truck. 

She shakes her head. “I want to go to Glee practice.” 

He looks at her confused. “Today’s rehearsal is optional, we don’t have to go.” 

“I know, but I still want to go. I only have so many left with everyone and I want to go to as many as I can. Plus Kurt and Blaine made up so this one won’t be as awkward.” 

He nods and starts the car. “As you wish your highness.” She laughs and slaps his arm and gets back a  _ hey! No abusing the driver.  _

She looks over at him while he drives them back to school. He’s bopping his head to the music and mouthing the words to the songs he knows. She watches as he taps his fingers along the steering wheel every time they stop and laughs to herself at how he shouts at the other drivers even though they can’t hear him every time they piss him off. She might have lost a lot, but she wouldn’t trade him for any of it back. 

\-----

She’s a little sad to see she’s missed a little bit of the group performance, but laughs as Sam runs into the auditorium and rolls her beside Artie. She hugs Brittnay and Santana and winks back and Tina when she raises an eyebrow at her and Sam’s joined hands. She looks around at the group while she sings along to  _ Your Love Is My Love  _ realizing just how much she’s going to miss everyone. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Choke**

She has to miss the next couple of days of school because she’s regained a lot of feeling back in her legs so her doctor wants her to stay at the hospital for the rest of the week so she can practice walking. 

Don’t get her wrong, she’s been on cloud nine ever since her doctors have been saying it’s only time until she’ll be walking again. But she only has so many days left until graduation, so she’s upset she has to miss even a few. And she’s going to miss Sam like crazy, he can’t accompany her to any of these sessions because her doctor doesn’t want any distractions. 

Kurt has been sending her updates on how his preparation for his NYADA audition is going, sending her a new picture every half an hour of the more candles he’s added to his performance. She giggles and sends him back a thumbs up every time from beside her hospital bed. 

\-----

She Facetimes Sam every evening when her sessions are done for the day. It’s not too boring this time. She has her own tv and she’s allowed to get out of bed. He updates her on all the things that she’s missing, like how Mike had told him that the girls were given an assignment about domestic abuse against women because Santana made some lame joke about Cooter hitting Beiste. She rolls her eyes, of course Santana did. 

He also tells her about how Finn is super worried that Puck isn’t going to graduate. He had spoken to all the guys about it in the weight room, that he wants them all to help him. 

He asks her how she feels about it and she tells him she doesn’t mind. She’s never going to tell Sam who he can and cannot talk too. She knows that Sam and Puck are friends. 

She’s never really liked Puck all that much, he called her fat a bunch of times when she was pregnant and then completely abandoned her after she gave birth and he told her that he loved her, but she appreciated how he tried to help her while she was pregnant with Beth and she knows how good he is to other members like Rachel and Finn. 

But then her therapist made her sort of realize what happened between the two of them, maybe something she wasn’t totally okay with by asking her questions like  _ Do you remember saying yes?  _ And  _ If he hadn’t gotten you drunk would you have consented to having sex with him?  _

But still, she wants Puck to graduate, it would make her sad to see any one of them fall behind. 

\-----

She gets a snapchat from Santana of her Brittnay, Tina, Sugar, and Mercedes in their outfits for their Glee assignment. She’s a little confused, how does this show empowerment? 

She snaps Santana back asking her what song they chose to sing. She gets one back two minutes later saying  **Cell Block Tango.**

Oh God, she can’t wait to hear about how Sue reacts to this one. 

\-----

She sends Kurt a good luck paragraph the day of his audition. She hates that she can’t be sitting in the auditorium seats with Blaine and Rachel. She hates that she can’t help him sing backup for him like Tina, Mercedes and Brittnay. 

She waits patiently for Blaine’s Facetime call so she can watch Kurt’s audition. She squeals when she gets the call and immediately mutes herself so the lady Kurt is auditioning for doesn’t hear any of her hospital background noise. 

She brings her palms to cover her mouth when she hears Carmen she thinks her name is, tell Kurt Hugh Jackman would have been impressed with his performance. Blaine and Rachel then say goodbye to her after wishing her good luck with her physical therapy and she immediately sends a video of herself with tears in her eyes congratulating her and telling him how proud she is of him. 

\-----

Sam tells her he and the glee guys are planning to stay at school overnight to help tutor Puck and asks her if she has any good tips. Mr. Schue had asked Figgins if they could and he had okayed it saying he would make sure he would have the overnight janitor make routine check ups on them. She suggests flashcards are always good. She uses rewards to help Sam, giving him a kiss every time he gets a question right, but she assumes that’s not the kind of tip he and the guys are looking for. 

She wakes up to a bunch of text messages Sam had sent her throughout the night about how Puck was not getting any of it. But alas as she looks at the messages from 3:36am onwards it shows that Puck is remembering some of the information after they made a song out of some of the questions. 

He also tells her that Finn had told all of them that Rachel choked on her NYADA audition. She cringes at that one. She knows Rachel is probably devastated. She knows Rachel probably doesn’t want to talk about it, but she still sends her a text message asking her how she’s doing. 

\-----

He’s talking with Mike at his locker when Tina walks up to them with tears streaming down her cheeks. Mike cuts himself off mid sentence as soon as he sees her, running up to her. “Tina?! What’s wrong?” 

Sam walks over to them concerned as well. Tina looks really upset. He knows Tina cries a lot, but she is sobbing, hyperventilating almost. “Mike?” She asks him, her voice raw and strained from the amount of crying she’s been doing. “Would you ever hit me?” 

Sam sees Mike turn white as a sheet and Sam freezes. Mike treats Tina better than he’s seen anyone treat their girlfriend, why would she ever ask him that. So he asks her, “Tina what’s going on?” 

She tells them in between little hiccups due to how she had been sobbing, “Cooter..hit..Beiste.” 

Sam feels himself turn just as pale. He looks over at Mike who seems to be just as shocked as he is. “Tina, what? But you said Beiste said when Santana made that joke,” Mike trails off hoping Tina will fill in the blanks. 

“She lied. He hit her.” 

Sam doesn’t know much about Cooter, but he always thought he was a decent guy. You don’t hit women, especially your wife. It’s supposed to be an unspoken rule. He still has two classes left, but he doesn’t care. He starts walking down the hallway towards the parking lot. He hears Mike ask him where he’s going, but he doesn’t answer him. 

\-----

She isn’t expecting anyone after school because she had been at the hospital for most of the day for physical therapy and different tests to check out the progress on her feeling in her legs. She’s finally been released from the hospital, but hasn’t had the chance to tell anyone yet. Her mom had left shortly after the two of them had returned home. She assumes her mom just forgot something, so she wheels herself towards the door and opens it. She was not expecting to see a crying Sam on the other side. 

“Sam?” she asks, confused. Why is he crying? And how did he even know she was home, he had barely texted her all day. 

“I would never hit you.”  _ What?  _ She knows that, but it still makes her body shiver. Why would he say something like that? 

“What do you mean? What’s going on?” She opens the door so he can come inside. She waits for him to get settled in and calm down.

“Cooter hit coach Beiste.” 

Her blood runs cold. Coach Beiste’s husband hit her? She doesn’t know Coach Beiste very well, Cooter less than that, but the football coach is one of the nicest people she’s ever met. How could he hit her?

“What?”

She thinks she might have understood him, or maybe he said it wrong. Her father would grab her mother sometimes, but he never hit her. Men aren’t supposed to hit their wives. 

“She lied to the girls about the punching bag, Cooter gave her the black eye.” She has no idea what he’s talking about. What punching bag? But she isn’t focused on that right now, she’s focused on the sobbing blonde in front of her. 

She hates that she can’t walk up to him and comfort him, but then she thinks  _ maybe I can.  _ So she grabs the end of the couch and uses it to pull herself up. Sam’s jaw drops and she takes two small steps towards him and then falls beside him on the couch. 

“Quinn!” He shouts and she jumps a little. “Did that really just happen? You walked!” He scoops her up into his arms and hugs her, placing her onto his lap. 

She shrugs. “I’ve been walking a little bit in physical therapy, but not that much so don’t get too excited. But let’s not talk about that right now.” She cups his cheek in her palm. “I know you would never hit me Sam. I don’t ever want you to think that I would think any differently.” 

He nods his head and she runs her fingers through his hair whispering to him that everything is going to be okay as he cries into her chest.

\-----

She waits anxiously by her phone the next day for Sam’s message about whether or not Puck had passed his European Geography test. His teacher had said she would mark it right away so he would know if he would graduate or not. 

She quickly picks up her phone as soon as she gets a notification of an incoming text. Her heart races as soon as she sees it’s from Sam.  **He got a C!** She breathes out a sigh of relief. All of them are going to graduate together. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter of S3 left!! That is so crazy to me, but I am really excited for S4! I have some really cool ideas for Quinn. I won't be adding every episode like I did for S3 simply because not all the storylines revolve around Sam or his and Quinn's close friends, but this does mean I will be adding more AU storylines to fill up the spaces (I hope that make sense)! Thanks so much for reading and I special thanks to those who take the time to leave kudos or comments, they really make my day (: Enjoy!


	13. Prom-asaurus, Props

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I lied. I said one chapter of S3 left because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to add in props or not since there wasn’t really a storyline for Sam or Quinn. But then I thought of little moments to add so there are now two chapters left of S3 (including this one) and the next one will be for Nationals and Goodbye. Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated (:

**Prom-asaurus**

She hears from Tina that Rachel is losing it. And Quinn feels kind of bad for Rachel. She thinks the two of them are friends, kind of, but even if they weren’t, she still wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. 

Quinn knows how it feels to feel like you have no hope in anything anymore. To have this goal and feel like it was ripped out of your grasp. She wishes there was something she could do to make Rachel feel better, but there isn’t. And Finn had advised them all to give her space. 

So she focuses on prom instead. This is the last prom she will ever attend, and definitely the last one where she can run for prom queen, so she devotes all her time to her campaign, even if Brittnay still hasn’t decided that their theme is yet. 

\-----

It’s finally the day that she’s been waiting for, where Sue is going to announce king and prom queen nominees. She knows she’ll get chosen, she was chosen last year there’s no way she won’t be this year, but she’s still anxious. Sam tells her that she shouldn’t worry, he and all the guys had voted for her. 

“But even if you don’t get nominated, you’re still my queen babe.” She ignores that. She doesn’t pay attention to what her teacher is saying in her first period, just waits for the announcements. 

She doesn’t really know who Missy Gunderson is, and of course she expected her and Santana to be nominated as prom queen, that’s why she’s already started working on her campaign, but the confirmation that she has been makes her feel so much better. 

She’s a little bummed Sam wasn’t nominated. She knows that he’s still a junior, but he’s a great guy. He’s super cute and really funny, and she knows most of the female student body is in love with his impressions much to her dismay. But Finn had been nominated this year again, so maybe she can centre her campaign around the two of them. 

\-----

Joe sits next to her in glee club, which makes her a little uncomfortable because they had a super awkward conversation a couple days ago about how she doesn’t need her to accompany her to physical therapy anymore without giving him a reason why. 

But her uncomfortableness turns into confusion when Brittnay announces their prom theme.  _ Dinosaurs?  _ What the hell do dinosaurs have to do with prom? But it doesn’t matter, she won’t be thinking about that after she wins prom queen. 

Brittany appointing her and Santana to count the ballots is news to her, but she agrees with Santana, at least they both know it won’t be rigged with the both of them counting. 

She doesn’t exactly know how this dinosaur themed prom is going to turn out, especially with Brittnay in charge, but as Sam shoots her a wink from across the choir room she can’t deny, she’s really excited. 

\-----

She knows she has to tell Sam about her idea of doing her campaign with Finn, but she’s terrified. Although he’s living at his and Kurt’s house, she doesn’t know how he’ll react, especially after what happened last year. 

He notices that something’s on her mind right away, just like she suspected he would. At times how well he knows her annoys the crap out of her, but this time she’s going to make it work in her favour. 

They’re sitting outside in the courtyard because the weather is getting nicer, just the two of them because they haven’t had the opportunity to hang out alone in a while. He asks her once wrong once he realizes she has barely touched any of her lunch. 

“Hey is something bothering you?” He looks really concerned and it almost makes her feel guilty, but she really doesn’t want him to be mad at her. She doesn’t know how she should approach it, does she just blurt it out? Or wait a little bit and then ask? 

But she figures with Sam it’s always just best to rip off the bandaid. “I want to do my prom queen campaign with Finn.” 

He doesn’t say anything at first, but then he shrugs his shoulders and says “okay.” 

To say she’s shocked is an understatement. He’s not even a tad bit upset? This is the guy who she had cheated on him with last year. “Wait, you’re not upset?” 

He chuckles a bit and she grows more confused. “Quinn, I know you and I know how important this is to you. As long as I can still be your date, no it doesn’t bug me.” 

She squeals and wraps her arms around his neck, feeling like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. Now she just has to talk to Finn. 

\-----

They don’t have any of the same classes so it takes her forever to find him. Glee practice is over so it’s not like she can ask him there. She finally finds him at his locker and sighs out in relief. 

“Finn!” She calls because she can only wheel herself so fast and she doesn’t want him to leave. He looks a little confused and she doesn’t blame him, the two of them haven’t really spoken since they broke up. “I know this is probably going to sound weird, but do you maybe want to campaign for prom king and queen with me?” 

He looks hesitant and she knows what he’s thinking about: Rachel, so she tells him “Sam was okay with it so I’m sure Rachel will be.” without thinking about it. 

“Sam?” Oh crap. She’s so used to everyone in her circle knowing about the two of them that she forgot Finn is a little oblivious. She knows there’s no way she can cover it up, so she figures she’s just better off telling him and hoping he won’t question her about it. 

“Yeah we’re kind of together. But what do you say? Will you run with me?” He still looks hesitant, so she adds, “this is just the one thing that I’ve looked forward to since the accident.”  _ Bingo  _ she thinks to herself as she sees the guilt paint his face. She bites her lip as she waits for his answer. When he agrees she grins. “I promise this is just strictly political, thank you Finn.” 

\-----

She has the posters ready for the next day. What can she say, she’s eager. Sam offers to help her put them up, but she decides it will look better if Finn is the one to help her. 

She makes it up to Sam by allowing him to take her to her physical therapy session after school. He stands there stunned at first, watching as she gets up out of the wheelchair and grabs the bars. 

As soon as he sees her wince though he snaps into action, standing beside her and giving her words of encouragement. “Come on Quinn you got this.” She tries not to swear at him because she doesn’t think he realizes how much it hurts. 

“Now let go of your hands.” If senior prom wasn’t coming up, she would say that she wasn’t ready, but she wants this. She wants to be able to walk across that stage and get her crown. She wants to be able to dance with Sam at prom. 

She looks over at him and he’s nodding at her, silently telling her  _ I won’t let you fall, you can trust me.  _ And she does, she trusts him more than anything. So she slowly removes her hands from the bars and takes a step forward. And then another. And laughs as Sam shouts how proud he is of her, completely oblivious of everyone else in the room giving him weird looks. 

She stumbles a little bit, but before she can fall he grabs her by the waist and pulls her into his chest. “Gotcha.” She places her hands on his chest to check if this is all really happening. Is she dreaming? Or did she really just take her first few steps. He kisses her on the forehead. “I am so unbelievably proud of you Quinn, I knew you could do it.” 

She looks up at him, happy tears filling her eyes. “Thank you, for always sticking by my side.” 

He grins wide and kisses her quickly, taking in their surroundings and deciding this setting is probably not the best place for a makeout session. “Come on, let’s go get some ice cream to celebrate and then we can show everyone how-” 

She shakes her head. “No we can’t. It needs to be real. I need to practice more. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.” 

She can tell he doesn’t quite get it. But he still tells her, “you’re going to be dancing at prom. I know it. Now let’s go get some ice cream.” 

\-----

Sam rolls her into the choir room and she sees that Rachel is already at the front.  _ Oh dear God I swear I will rip my hair out if I have to hear another song about broken dreams  _ she thinks to herself as Sam takes a seat next to her. 

But it’s not even a performance, it’s an announcement. About an anti-prom party. Is Rachel serious? Anti-prom? Her boyfriend is literally nominated for prom king. And this is her senior prom, why would she even want to miss it? 

And Kurt, she can’t believe Kurt. She feels a little betrayed, Kurt knows how much prom means to her. She kind of thought that maybe he would be there for her during it because of that, but she guesses not, Rachel’s self-sabotage pity party must be more important. 

She looks over at Finn and asks him, “you’re supporting this?” because it’s ridiculous. Fine, if Rachel doesn’t feel like supporting her fellow glee club members who have been nominated, what about her boyfriend? Finn has been at Rachel’s side all throughout this NYADA drama, and Rachel can’t even tough it out for a couple of hours so she can vote for him? It’s not even like her and Finn will be together the entire time. They’re not each other's dates, and they both agreed to three dances together maximum, she doesn’t exactly want to go with him either. Doesn’t Rachel know she’s with Sam? 

She’s hoping someone will say something about this. Is she the only one who thinks this is crazy? She looks over at Sam who actually looks interested in Rachel’s idea so she glares at him, but of course he doesn’t notice. 

She thanks God when Santana starts talking. If anyone is going to knock some sense into Rachel and Kurt, it is going to be Santana. Although she does think Santana is being a little harsh bringing up how Rachel choked at her NYADA audition. And calling her a selfish diva from hell? Maybe not the approach Quinn herself would have gone with, but she does think that Rachel is being a little unfair to the rest of them because Santana’s right, they all want to enjoy one of the last nights they have together as seniors. 

Her and Finn had arranged to put up more posters after glee rehearsal, so she asks him “you can’t be too pleased about that student Rachel’s pulling.” She gets why Finn would feel bad, but rough stuff? Really? It is not everyone else’s fault that Rachel choked at her NYADA audition and didn’t think of a backup plan. Everything has always been handed to Rachel on a silver platter, especially in the musicals and in glee club, maybe it’s a good thing that she choked.

“Rough stuff? Did you forget that you’re talking to a girl in a wheelchair?” She knows it’s unfair to put Finn in this position, but she’s right. There are people who have it far worse than Rachel, herself included. She decides to let it go when she hears Finn sigh out of frustration, opting to change the subject. “We’ve come full circle. Though to be clear there will be no extracurricular activity this time.” She says it to lighten up the mood, but she doesn’t think Finn gets the joke. 

Before she can respond to him telling her he applied to an actor’s school in New York, some girl she’s never seen before tells her that she’s so brave. She knows it is so incredibly shallow to be using her situation for sympathy votes, but she has nothing else going on for her right now. Prom queen is the only thing she has left to prove herself to all these people. So she tells the girl, “thank you. The atrophy in my leg is a constant reminder of the slow, withering remnants of my past life. The toll can at times be physically and emotionally hard, knowing that I may never walk again.” It makes her feel awful knowing she’s deceiving people just to get their votes, but she needs this. She needs to win prom queen so if the sympathy votes is how she’s going to win? Then so be it. “People like you inspire me. Your healthy, normal legs are beautiful.” Although she doesn’t feel any better when the girl tells her that she has her vote. 

Finn tells her that was super creepy, and if she’s being honest? She kind of agrees. But she’s not going to tell him that, instead saying “it won’t be, when we’re standing up on that stage soaking up the applaus.” But then he asks her if she feels weird using her injury to get sympathy votes. And yeah she does, she feels awful, but how else is she supposed to win? Santana clearly has the popular vote, and she doesn’t know who Missy is or how she’s getting votes, so she has to use sympathy votes. 

“Votes are votes, Finn. Do you want to win or not?” She rolls herself away because she’s not sure if she wants to know his answer. 

\-----

She waits for Sam by her last class at the end of the day so they can head to his car and go home, but she doesn’t find Sam, instead Kurt comes over and starts rolling her. She’s confused, where is Sam? “What’s going on Kurt? Where’s Sam?” 

“He asked me to get you. He needed to do something quickly. He’s going to meet you by his car.” She’s a little confused. Why wouldn’t Sam just text her that himself? But she doesn’t think much of it, he probably forgot. 

But she was wrong. He didn’t forget. She gasps and covers her mouth when she sees him, standing in front of his truck holding a poster saying  _ I will go extinct if you don’t go to prom with me.  _ With a stuffed t-rex beside him and Blaine standing to the side recording all of it. She throws her head back and laughs at how corny it all is, but she nods her head as soon as Kurt drops her off in front of him. “Yes! Yes I will go to prom with you.” 

He drops the poster, picks her up out of her chair and spins her around. “Thank God otherwise that would have been super embarrassing.” She giggles and kisses him because she’s too happy to think of anything else to say. 

\-----

Her mom does her hair and makeup for her this year and she waits patiently at the door for Sam to arrive. Her mom claps her hands excitedly when the doorbell rings and tells her, “Quinnie you open the door, I have to get my camera!” 

She rolls to the door, opening it and grinning when Sam’s jaw drops. “Wow Quinn, you look gorgeous.” She blushes and opens the door further so he can get inside. She takes in his appearance when he’s placing her corsage on her wrist. He’s wearing a purple bowtie to match her dress and she assumes he’s wearing the same suit as last year because it looks a little tight, not that she doesn’t mind, it just makes him look sexier. He bends down so she can pin his boutonniere on his suit jacket, giving her a kiss on the cheek once she’s placed it on him. 

“Here I got it!” her mom tells them from the kitchen, running quickly over to them. He helps her out of her wheelchair and wraps his arms around her waist while they pose for a couple of pictures. After about a dozen she laughs and tells her mom that’s enough, “we need to get going! And my legs are starting to hurt.” 

Her mom wipes away a few tears and she refrains herself from rolling her eyes. Judy Fabray, always an emotional. But all thoughts leave her mind when Sam holds out his hand for her to take. “Ready?” Oh is she ever. 

\-----

She’s surprised at how good everything looks. She didn’t know what to expect when Brittnay had announced her dinosaur themed prom, but she won’t lie, everything turned out really well. 

Sam takes them to a table where Mike and Tina are sitting and laughs along with Tina as Sam and Mike freak out over the decorations, geeking out about different facts they know. 

She tells Sam she’s going to head to the washroom quickly while they’re all standing around watching Brittnay perform. As soon as she’s finished in the stall, she wheels herself up to the sink so she can wash her hands. She groans in frustration forgetting how much taller the gym washroom sinks are compared to the sinks in the rest of the school. She grabs the counter and slowly pushes herself up so she can wash her hands properly and touch up on her makeup. 

She hears footsteps and assumes it’s just Sam coming in to check on her, but begins to panic as soon as she realizes that it’s Finn. “You-you can walk?” 

He’s mad, why is he mad? Shouldn’t he be happy for her? This is supposed to be a miracle. She’s terrified, terrified of what he’s going to say. “Yeah. Isn’t it amazing?” She asks him slowly. She lies to him because she can see the anger on his face, although she doesn’t get why he’s so upset. “You’re seeing me take my first steps.” She tells him nervously as she heads back to her chair. 

“So you lied to us? To everybody?” Why does he assume that she’s been lying? Yes she can take a few steps on her own, but she can't walk yet. 

“No. I mean, my legs are getting better, but I wanted it to be a surprise. You know, for when I walk up there and-and get my crown. The crowd will go wild. I really want this.” She doesn’t know what the big deal is, she  _ deserves  _ this. Especially after everything that she has been through. 

“Yeah. You may want this, but Rachel needs me and I picked you over her. Do you know how stupid that makes me feel? You have everything. You’re going to have your crown. You’re going to go to Yale. Rachel has none of that.” Is Finn being serious? How is she the one who has everything? She’s in a wheelchair! She wants to scream back at him, tell him Rachel is the one who has everything. Racehel can walk. She has two supportive dads who love her. She has a boyfriend who she can still be with after she graduates. She is so sick of everything pitying Rachel because she blew one audition. How is it her fault Rachel didn’t think to apply to any other schools? Why are they all pretending like Rachel was not given the main role of every musical, every solo in every competition? Like Rachel has not screwed all of them over time and time again just so she can get her way. And Quinn wants this one small thing for herself and  _ she’s  _ the bad guy? “And tonight, thanks to you, she doesn’t even have me.” 

“We’re a shoo-in.” She tells him as he walks out of the washroom. “I need you.” That makes him turn around. 

“No, you don’t need me, okay? I thought going through all that terrible stuff this year made you cooler, but no, you’re still the same old Quinn. All that matters is you.” Ouch, that really stung. She feels the tears pricking the back of her eyes but she won’t let him see how much he’s affecting her. She knows she’s become a better person, she has to be, or else none of this was worth it. 

“Come on stop! Please.” She hopes he understands that she’s trying not to tell him that he shouldn’t leave, he wants her to see that she is better than this. If he would overlook this one stupid thing and realize she is better, but she needs this for herself. She needs validation from everyone that she is still the well respected, feared Quinn Fabray she was before she got pregnant. 

Finn finally stops and she doesn’t know what she should say. Should she apologize? Tell him that he’s right? But she can’t, for some reason she can’t bring herself to say what she really wants to say. Instead she tells him, “look, it’s mandatory for the nominees to have at least one dance together.” He still looks furious, so she tries to explain things from her perspective. “I know you don’t understand how much this means to me, but,” she trails off trying to keep herself from crying. “Will you please just stay here for me? Please?” 

Finn reluctantly agrees and storms out of the washroom. She quickly dries her eyes before wheeling her way to back her table where Sam is seated, looking around the gym probably for her. She can tell he immediately knows something has happened and once she reaches their table asks her what’s wrong. She shakes her head. “Nothing. Finn just saw me standing in the washroom.” 

She watches as Sam clenches his fists. “He said something to you didn’t he? What did he say?” 

She places her hand overtop of his. “Nothing Sam, it’s okay.” But he isn’t looking at her, he’s looking past her. She turns her head to see what he’s glaring at and finds Finn walking over towards them. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Finn tells her, grabbing her arm and pulling her upwards, nearly causing her to fall out of her chair. 

Sam stands up and checks if she’s okay. She nods and he looks up and Finn and then walks over to him, fisting his suit jacket. “You better fucking watch it Hudson becayse if you do anything to her-” 

She tugs on Sam’s other hand that is laying by his side. “Sam stop it you’re causing a scene.” He reluctantly let’s go of Finn, but not before telling him that he’ll be watching them. 

She wheels herself behind Finn as he leads them towards the dance floor. 

She grabs Finn’s hands and puts on a fake smile as they dance awkwardly to Santana singing  _ Love You Like A Love Song.  _ Finn looks completely miserable and it’s just making her feel worse. She looks over at Sam and smiles to tell him everything’s okay. He doesn’t look convinced.

Finn drops her hands and she groans. “It’s just one dance, can you finish it with me?” she asks him. 

“Yeah I will, as soon as you stand up and show everybody how much you deserve this, how much you deserve to be prom queen.” She panics and looks around to make sure no one hears him. 

“Are you really doing this right now?” She asks him, alarm clear in her voice. She doesn’t know why Finn is being such a jerk to her. 

“What? Making you walk? Making you stand up and show everybody how much of a crazy liar you are? Yeah. Stand up!” 

Before she can stop herself, the tears are rolling down her cheeks. Sam is by her side instantly with Mike who is pushing Finn away from her. “What the fuck is going on?” Sam asks Finn angrily. 

“Did you know that she could walk too? You must have with all that physical therapy you’ve been giving.” 

“Just finish the dance with me!” She pleads but Finn isn’t having it. Sam stands in front of her protectively and glares daggers at Finn. 

“Stand up! Stand the hell up! Come on!” She jumps as Finn breaks out of Mike’s hold, pushes past Sam and grabs her arm hard, trying to get her out of her wheelchair. 

Sam pushes him off of her and screams at him “what is wrong with you?!” And Finn pushes him back. Ms. Sylvester comes over and threatens to kick Finn out again and Mike holds Sam back telling him that it’s not worth it.

Finn looks at her and then walks away and Sam puts his hand on her shoulder. Mike tells them that he’s going to grab Tina. “Are you alright?” He asks her and she nods her head, wiping away any tears. “I can tell them to perform without me.” 

She shakes her head as Mike comes back with Tina. “You go Sam, I’ve got her.” Tina tells him. Sam looks hesitant, but finally walks towards the stage with Mike. Tina turns towards her, telling her “come on Quinn, let’s go dance.” 

She knows Tina probably thinks she’s an awful person now that she and Mike know she can stand up. “I can’t fully walk.” She tells Tina as they sway around to the boys’ cover of  _ What Makes You Beautiful.  _

Tina shakes her head and smiles at her. “It’s okay Quinn, I get it. I don’t judge you, okay?” She nods back and smiles, allowing herself to slowly feel better. 

She screams when Kurt comes over and joins them. “Kurt! You’re here! But what about your anti-prom?” 

He laughs and bends down to give her a hug. “And miss having to pass my reign as prom queen onto you? I couldn’t.” She grins. 

She blushes as Sam points to her during his solo, ignoring the amount of girls that are screaming and reaching forward to touch his hair. Tina looks at her with her hands on her hips. “Quinn Fabray when are you finally going to tell me what is going on with you and Sam?” 

Shen grins and thinks to herself  _ oh what the hell, what’s the point in pretending anymore.  _ “We’ve been together since I woke up from my accident.” She laughs and dodges Tina going in to slap her on the arm because Kurt tells her he knew this entire time. 

She gets a text from Rachel telling her to meet her in the hallway. She hesitates on whether or not she should actually go, Finn probably told her that she can walk and Rachel is probably pissed too. 

But she goes anyway, telling Rachel that she saw her text and that she has three minutes as soon as she sees her. “The voting has started and I need to get out there and press the flesh.” 

“Look I owe you an apology. I found out that you and Finn were campaigning together, and I kind of freaked out. I got really jealous and irrational, I just, I should have been supportive.” 

She feels awful. Awful that Rachel was feeling all of this and Quinn had no idea, making everything about her once again and thinking terrible thoughts of Rachel, accusing her of being the selfish one. “Well since I had no idea this was going on, it’s pretty easy to forgive you. So I’m glad we cleared that up.” 

She turns to wheel herself back to the gym but Rachel starts talking to her again, walking in front of her and turning around to face her once more. “Wait, do you not understand what you mean to me? When we first met, you were everything I wanted to be: you were beautiful and popular, and you had Finn.” She doesn’t get what Rachel is trying to do, is she trying to show her that Quinn doesn’t have any of that anymore? She already knows that. 

“How the mighty have fallen.” 

“No, you don’t understand. I still see you that way, okay? That’s why I got so crazy. Because I wasn’t seeing the new Quinn. The still beautiful, but humbled and inspiring Quinn.” She wishes she was the girl that Rachel was describing, but she’s not. Finn was right, she’s just as selfish and awful as she was two years ago. “I’ve lost so much over these past few weeks and I honestly don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do with my life, but when I look back at my high school career, the one thing, the one accomplishment that I’m gonna so proud of is that I found a way to be your friend.” She giggles a bit at how overdramatic Rachel is. “So I’m apologizing to my friend. And I also want you to know that I voted for you for prom queen and I really think you deserve it.” 

Before she can thank Rachel, Santana tells her to hurry up and head to the Spanish room so they can start counting the ballots. She has her own speech prepared, it’s on the tip of her tongue, but she can’t bring herself to say anything. Instead feeling guilty as Rachel wishes her good luck and walks back to the gym. 

She wheels herself into the Spanish room where Santana has already started counting the ballots. She counts the votes for king as Santana counts the votes for queen, and then the two of them switch to make sure neither of them are lying. 

Santana tells her that she got the same votes for prom king as Quinn did, confused as to why Brittnay only got four prom king votes. 

“Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that she’s a girl.” She hates to say it, but they both know it’s the truth. She has no problem with it, she would have voted for Brittnay herself if she wasn’t running with Finn. 

“Screw this.” Santana tells her while getting up and walking towards the chalkboard. “I don’t want to be queen if Britt isn’t king.” 

“Well good because my count for queen was the same as yours.” She tells Santana hesitantly as she comes up behind Quinn to double check. “I won by one vote.” 

She finally has it, her crown, the thing that she has been working towards since she started high school, but it doesn’t make her feel any better. “I won. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I don’t feel any different.” 

“I mean, I guess you deserve to win, right? What with being a crip and all.” Santana tells her and they both laugh. 

“You know, we really have had the dream high school careers.” She tells Santana, wheeling herself around to face her best friend. “Mega-popular, doing whatever we wanted. Whoever we wanted.” They both laugh at that. “You know I’m really not surprised that you and I were the top two candidates.” 

“Yeah. Well it would be boring if we weren’t so awesome.” Santana says and starts to clean up the votes. 

“But don’t you want to leave this place having made a difference?” She asks her and Santana looks at her questioningly. “Since you don’t want to be prom queen and neither do I, let’s crown Rachel.” 

Santana looks at her like she’s lost her mind. “Berry? You want Berry as prom queen? Quinn have you gone insane?” Santana asks her before taking a sip of her punch. 

“Hear me out okay, she’s already lost so much. She deserves this more than we do.” Santana doesn’t say anything for a bit before finally nodding and agreeing. So they’ve decided. Rachel Berry will win prom queen. 

\-----

She wheels herself back into the gym with Santana and goes back to her table with Sam, Mike, and Tina. “Well?” Sam asks her when she finally gets to them. “Did you win?” 

She purses her lips and shakes her head. “You’ll have to find out with everyone else.” She tells him as he wheels her towards the stage. He groans but accepts and helps her onto the stage.

When they announce Finn as prom queen she smiles and claps. She looks over at Sam who is pumping his first in the air and is winking at her. She smirks, he thinks she won prom queen. 

Her and Santana smile at each other as Mr. Figgins says “students for the second year in a row we have prom anarchy. Receiving the majority of write-in votes, I would like to welcome on the stage…Miss Rachel Berry.” 

Sam looks over at her confused and she winks at him, turning her attention back to Rachel. She smiles and claps for Finn and Rachel and wheels herself to the front of the stage and grabs a mic from Santana as they prepare for their duet. 

She decides that even though she gave up her crown, she can still have her moment. She places both her feet on the ground, grabs the mic stand, and pulls herself upwards. Santana quickly grabs her by the waist to keep her standing. She smiles at her and takes in everyone’s shocked expressions. 

She smiles at all the applause she gets and looks over at Sam who blows her a kiss. She finishes the rest of the performance standing and exhales in relief once the song ends. 

“Quinn!” Santana says once they both put their microphones down. “You can walk?!” The latina has tears in her eyes and this is the reaction Quinn was waiting for, this is why she wanted to surprise everyone. 

“Only a few steps.” She tells Santana and laughs as Santana wraps her arms around her.

\-----

She finally gets her chance to dance with Sam while Tina is singing a solo. She chooses to go without her wheelchair so she can have one proper prom slow dance with the guy she loves since it’s probably the only one she’s going to get. She lifts her head up from Sam’s chest to look at him when he tells her “I’m sorry you didn’t get your crown Q.” 

She smiles at him. “It’s okay, I still got my king.” 

He looks over to somewhere beside them and she follows his gaze to where Mercedes and Shane are slow dancing together. “Looks like everyone is happy tonight.” He tells her while giving her a kiss on the forehead. 

They dance together for the rest of the night, sometimes the two of them, sometimes with Santana and Brittnay or Mike and Tina. Eventually the clock strikes eleven and Figgins announces prom is over and they all need to start heading out of the gym. 

She’s buzzed off of the night on the ride back to her house. Or at least that was what she thought until Sam tells her Puck spiked the punch bowl while laughing. “Crap Sam I had three cups.” He just laughs harder. 

“You were behind Rachel winning prom queen, weren’t you?” He asks her. 

She smiles shyly and nods. “I won.” 

He looks over at her, eyes wide. “What? Why would you give up your crown? Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?” 

She shrugs. “It didn’t make me feel any better. Besides,” she tells him while grabbing his hand. “I already got what I’ve always wanted.” He grins back at her and kisses her hand. 

\-----

He helps her out of the car when they finally reach her house, her legs are killing her. He bends down and kisses her when they reach her door. “Goodnight Quinn.” 

“Wait.” She says while grabbing his hand. “Aren’t you coming inside?” 

He looks at her confused. “I have to get back to Burt and Carole’s?” 

She bites her lip. “I think they’ll understand you wanting to spend prom night with your girlfriend.” He raises an eyebrow at her and she blushes, pulling him inside. 

____________________________________________________________________

**Props**

Kurt and Mercedes tell her about how Sue wants Kurt to wear a dress for nationals. She laughs her head off as they all head to glee club. She takes a seat next to Sam since mostly everyone in glee club knows they’re back together now, there’s clearly no point in hiding it. 

They cheer as Mr. Schue writes  _ Nationals  _ on the board. She snickers when Sue tells them she expects Kurt to perform while wearing a dress during the Trouble Tones number and laughs even harder when Sam does a Darth Vader impression to her while wearing his welding helmet. 

Her jaw drops when Mr. Schue tells them that if anyone is not up for trying and working their butts off, they should leave and Tina gets up and leaves. She agrees that everyone deserves more solos, God knows Quinn would like another one before she graduates, but Tina being the first one to call Mr. Schue favoring Rachel? That’s not who Quinn was expecting. 

She texts Tina asking her if she’s okay after glee practice and gets a series of angry texts after. She laughs when she shows them to Sam and his eyes grow wide. 

\-----

She runs into the auditorium hoping because she’s unnoticed because she’s a little late. She can barely dance as it is, and now Sue wants them all to dance with welding helmets and sparks flying everywhere? She can’t handle it. 

She expresses her frustrations to Sam as soon as Mr. Schue dismisses them. “I can’t do it, I can’t do some elaborate dance number for nationals. If we lose I’m going to be the reason why Sam, me and my awful dancing.” 

He chuckles and grabs her hand, squeezing it while they walk down the hallway together. “Will you relax? You’re going to be fine. You know there’s no way Mr. Schue is going to approve of that number.” 

She sighs and he pulls her over to the side, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, stop it. You’re going to do great, everyone gets if you need a couple of weeks to readjust. Stop stressing okay?” 

She nods her head and he kisses her cheek. “Good. Now let’s go get some lunch. I'm starving.” 

\-----

She raises an eyebrow at the email she gets from Mr. Schue telling all of them to meet in the boys locker room for an emergency glee meeting at lunch that Sue wants them all to attend. 

She walks in and takes a seat next to Mr. Schue. Her heart drops when she watches the video clip of Vocal Adrenaline’s dancing routine. She can feel Sam staring at the back of her head, but she seriously feels like she can’t breathe. How is she supposed to learn how to do a human centipede if she’s still learning how to walk again? 

Her hands start to shake and she stops paying attention to Sue altogether. Is she breathing? She feels like she isn’t breathing. Mr. Schue must notice her gasping for air from beside him because he turns to her and asks her if she’s okay. “Quinn? Are you alright?” 

Her clear vision is replaced with unshed tears. She’s going to cost them nationals, she just knows it. And then everyone is going to hate her because they’ll know it too. Her ears begin to ring and she can hear Mr. Schue telling Sue to turn the lights on. She can hear Finn ask him what’s going on and everyone begins to look at her. “I think she might be having a panic attack.” 

Mr. Schue turns to her and instructs her to take slow deep breaths but she can barely hear him. What if she falls while on stage? What if she injures her legs again and then she permanently becomes paralyzed. Sam jumps up and starts kneeling in front of her, grabbing her hands and telling her to copy his breathing, but she can’t concentrate on anything else other than the fact that she can’t dance the way she knows she has to in order for them to win nationals. 

Mr. Schue tells them all to clear the room and give her space, they will meet for glee rehearsal in the choir room tomorrow. Sue stands behind Sam and instructs him on what to do. “Get her to look at you and then count down from ten with her. I’ll go get some water.” 

Sam lifts her head and forces her to look into his eyes. “Let’s count down from ten okay? Say the numbers with me baby. Ten..nine..eight..” She gasps out  _ seven  _ and he breathes a sigh of relief. By the time they get down to one, she is breathing normally again. Sue returns with a paper cup full of water and Sam sits next to her, helping her drink from it because her hands are still shaking. 

“What happened?” Mr. Schue asks her as he stands next to Sue who is looking down at her concerned. She looks hesitantly over to Sam and he gets the hint that she’s too afraid to tell them. 

“She’s afraid that her not being able to dance as well as she could before the accident is going to cost us nationals.” She watches as both Sue and Mr. Schue’s eyes soften. 

“Quinn, you don’t need to put that much pressure on yourself. You were just in an accident. We understand that you may not be able to dance as sharp as you could before.” She nods her head, hearing Mr. Schue say that to her does take some of the pressure off. She thanks them both and exits the locker room with Sam. 

Sam grabs her wrist lightly before she has a chance to open the door. “Quinn hold on a minute.” 

She knows what he’s going to say. He’s going to lecture her for not talking to him more or express how much more he is concerned now. 

But instead he pulls her into his chest and wraps his arms around her. “You scared me. How are you feeling now?”

She sniffles out an  _ okay  _ and he places his chin on the top of her head. “If you’re ever feeling nervous like that again tell me okay? So we can go to Mr. Schue together and prevent something like that from happening again.” 

She nods her head against his chest and whispers  _ thank you _ into the fabric of his shirt.

\-----

Santana and Brittnay sit on either side of her during glee rehearsal the next day. Santana asks her what happened yesterday during their meeting and she tells them it’s nothing to worry about. “I’m just a little nervous about having to dance for nationals.” 

Santana snorts and asks her “a  _ little  _ nervous?” and Brittnay glares at her girlfriend. 

“It’s okay Quinn, I can help you.” Brittany offers. 

“No Britt it’s okay, I’ll be okay.” 

“Nonsense Fabray. I’m a little rusty on some of my moves myself. You’re coming.” She sighs and reluctantly agrees, smiling a bit as Brittnay squeals. 

That panic returns when Sue tells them all she’s ordered them little people for them to dance with. “I can’t dance with a little person, I can hardly walk.” Brittany pats her leg and tells her not to worry, she’s going to help her. 

Her jaw drops as Puck walks in wearing a dress and a wig. She gags and covers her eyes when Puck turns around and his dress twirls, revealing his underwear underneath. 

\-----

She meets Brittnay and Santana in the dance studio the next day afterschool. She puts on a pair of red Cheerios shorts and a black muscle racerback tank top and watches nervously as Brittnay shows her the choreography her and Mike have planned for  _ Paradise By The Dashboard Light  _ and stuff she has been working on for  _ Edge Of Glory.  _

“I don’t get why I need to learn the  _ Edge Of Glory  _ choreo if I’m not even going to be a part of that number.” 

Brittany shrugs. “It will help you dance better if you learn more complex moves. Come on Quinn, you know I’m not going to teach you anything I don’t think you can’t handle.” 

She nods her head, she’s determined to become better and learn all the steps. She practices with Brittnay and Santana for a couple of hours until Brittnay decides that’s enough for today. They walk out together to Santana’s car, but before she can get into the back, Santana stops her. 

She turns to Santana confused and is slightly concerned about the tears shining in Santana’s eyes. “Quinn I’m so sorry.” Before she can ask Santana what she’s talking about, Santana continues. “I kept replaying our conversation at the fence during the first week of school while you were in your coma. About how you brought up all the terrible things that we’ve done to each other. I shouldn’t have gotten between you and Puck while you were pregnant or fought you in the hallway when you told coach about my boob job.” Quinn snorts at that as her own eyes fill up with unshed tears. “But the thing I regret most is not being there for you when you needed me most. I wasn’t there for you when you got pregnant. I stole Sam from you when he clearly made you the happiest you’ve ever been, and I wasn’t there to prevent your trip to crazyland, and I’m so sorry.” Santana’s voice cracks and Quinn goes to wrap her arms around her, but Santana shakes her head and takes a step back. “I’m so grateful for you Q. The way that you’ve always been there for me, especially when Finn outed me. And I hate myself for not doing the same for you.” 

She finally walks up to Santana and wraps her arm around her, telling her that she loves her so much. “I forgave you so long ago San.” She holds Santana as she sobs into her shoulder, laughs as Brittnay hops out from the front seat and joins them for a group hug. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I think I'll be posting about two to three episodes every chapter. Quinn and Sam had so much chemistry and I seriously think it's a crime that they didn't end up being endgame. Quinn deserves so much more than Puck. 
> 
> But anyways I'm super excited for this fic and I have so many great ideas on how I can incorporate Quinn since she pretty much disappeared after season 3.


End file.
